My blogger friend, Kate Kresse, from ‘Believe Anyway’, says in her recent blog that it is nearly impossible to win a court case on sexual assault charges. She says sexual assault involves intimidation or feeling intimidated, and unwanted touching. She says: ” Why do they continue the intimidation by minimizing her feelings, doubting her word, or saying that the event was her fault. Why do they try to intimidate and ostracize her if she does file a complaint?”
When I read Kate’s blog I was reminded of what it was like for me as a teenager. I described to Kate how I fared at around 1949 in Berlin, Germany. I made the following comment: “When I was a young teenager, I could not imagine a guy would behave in such a way. I remember one morning walking to school with my friend Cordula. A guy who was definitely a few years older than we were approached us with a note. First I thought he wanted to give it to Cordula, but he straight away insisted that it was intended for me. He said he had seen us walking to school before and he would like to get to know me. After he went his ways I read the note. It was an invitation to a card game night with him as well as his friend and the friend’s girlfriend. The three of them were playing Skat, which is a very popular game in Germany. Just about everyone knows how to play this game. I actually knew the game quite well. It is played with three people. When there are four people, one person at a time has to miss out on one game, which works out well indeed. No guy in my whole life had ever wanted me to be his girlfriend. Lots of girls in my class had boyfriends. I went to an all girls school. So I didn’t know how on earth I would ever get a chance to get to know a boy or young man. I thought this was my chance. However meeting this guy involved going to his place. He had give me his address.
Naturally I could not go there without telling my mother first where I planned on going. However when I told my mother about this card-night, she immediately smelled a rat. I was strictly forbidden to go to this guy’s place. And that was it. I never saw him again. Admittedly I was still very young. However my mother’s instincts alerted me. I was inclined to be very naive and trusting. But having such a suspicious mother stopped me from doing anything against her will.
Maybe I have to thank her for never having had a bad experience the way this girl in your blog must have had. Thanks, Kate, for pointing this out, that there are guys who do not show any consideration towards a girl’s feelings. Do you think my mother was right in being very suspicious?”
AuntyUta 
Thank God your mother had a good nose for “rats.” And I’m glad you were an obedient daughter.
Thanks for the comment, Pat. You are right, my mother definitely had a good nose for ‘rats’. I tell you, being that ‘obedient’ didn’t make me very happy at the time. But you can say it was probably all for the best. Or was it? 🙂
Your mother is a blessing, Aunty Uta. I’m surprised you didn’t rebel though (if you liked the guy) & sneak out the window.
Your mother so knew. It’s amazing you never saw him again though – what, not on the way to school again? It’s good he didn’t pester.
Sneaking out the window would probably have killed me. ( ha, ha, third floor!) I don’t think he was still going to school. He looked more grown up to me. But I saw him only for a few seconds. I think he looked decent enough. I was only 14, but he probably thought I was maybe 16. People always thought I was older than I really was.
Well, well, I was just too young to rebel against Mum, so I thought. Romance just had to wait a bit longer. In the meantime I had some beautiful dreams!
Interestingly enough, Mum was only 14 when she got to know my father who was 21 and a student at the university of Leipzig.
Thanks very much for commenting. Noeleen.
Early tomorrow morning Peter and I are going to catch a train to Sydney. Have a lovely Sunday!
Cheerio, Aunty Uta.
When I was 14, I was inclined to be suspicious of the motives of boys, but I think that was only because I was conditioned to be (my mother was always alert for rats too!) otherwise why would I be curious or yearn for novelty of interaction? A boy seeming interested in me was such a lovely feeling, like I was pretty enough to be singled out for attention (even if boys can flit from flower to flower!) I guess the suspiciousness stems instinctively from wanting to avoid being just another flower. Perhaps we want to protect our egos in a way? It’s just a thought…
I love your comment, Munira. It is very thoughtful. How young girls are being treated is a very interesting subject. There are a lot of different factors that play a part. The way mothers behave has this to do with the standards that are prevalent in your society or culture?
And it may also have to do with the way sons are being raised.
To be totally trusting towards a stranger who’s background you do not know, is something most people would possibly try to avoid. Falling in love can be a blessing or something that leads to disaster. It all depends on the people involved and on the circumstances.
I agree, it is a lovely feeling to be singled out for attention. Usually it takes some time though before a relationship and a bit of trust can develop.
Mothers always have a natural instinct to head off trouble Auntyuta, you will never know if your mum was right.
Ian
Hi, Ian, I think sometimes you just have to wait for the exciting things in life to come your way, right? Thanks very much for commenting. 🙂
Auntyuta.