A new Post by Uta in January 2023

On the 21st of December 2022 I published this:

Today I wrote into the comment section of that post the following:

So, I’m thinking how I’m still useful towards the end of my life.
Also, I can still enjoy my life, very much so! And I can still stay fairly
independent, for instance by sizing down. The plan is, that I give up
my home and keep only one small room which is to be wholly just for me.
Today, I’ll write about this plan a bit more in a new post! 

🙂

So, I want to write now about my still useful life. The plan is, that daughter Monika and granddaughter Natasha are going to take over my house. All I keep is just one small room! All my earthly possessions have to fit into this small room. That means a lot of de-cluttering for me! I hope my family can do this de-cluttering for me over the next six months or so. Hopefully, after about six months, the new owners may be ready to move into the house with all their stuff!

What does this sound like to you?

COPY from: Berlioz1935’s Blog


Peter ( Berlioz) says:

It is about life, as I experienced it, how I see it and how I imagine it..

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Memories of the Past and towards 2017

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Time it was
And what a time it was, it was
A time of innocence
A time of confidences

Long ago it must be
I have a photograph
Preserve your memories
They’re all that’s left you.

These are the words of the refrain from the beautiful song “Bookends” by Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel. A song about two old friends sitting on a park bench – reminiscing.

If you have more time on your hand you can be listening to the full version here.

Last month,  Uta and I had our 60th Wedding anniversary. It was a moment to reflect on our past together.

Just before we got married this photo was taken of us two on the balcony of my mother’s apartment in Berlin. In the meantime, this building has been torn down and a more modern one has taken its place.

img_20170106_0001

 In the picture, my future wife looks rather sceptical at me.  Or is it whimsical? We were innocent at the time. We believed in a better world and eleven years after WW 2 we had all reasons to believe in a bright future. Out of that belief grew our confidence to start a family.

In case you are wondering about the plate on the wall, it has been painted by Anselm  Feuerbach and is of his favourite model, Nanna, in a classical pose. This plate is still in the family and belongs to my son now.

img_20170106_0001-2

From then to now it was a time of great changes in all our lives. We moved to Australia and raised a family. Of our four children, our eldest daughter passed away nearly five years ago.

2016 was an especially bad year all round. The election of Donald Trump to be the new President of the US makes for interesting times. Interesting, because he seems to be unpredictable. He loves conflict and will have a fight on his hand, among others, with the American secret services. The establishment believes the advice of the services are sacrosanct without considering that they might have their own agenda.

Terrorism is an old game but since 9/11 it has become global, as so many things have since the end of the Cold War. We shake in our shoes as our governments think of more useless schemes to stop this menace. But all those measurements make the would-be terrorists more cranky.

On a personal level, my health is precarious. At least this is what my doctors tell me. Next week I will know more. At my age, anything can crop up in my body. When I was born my life expectancy was just sixty-four years. Fifteen years later I am still here to tell my stories.

A few years ago, I talked about this with one of my neighbours. We called it bonus time and laughed about it. This was on a Friday and the very next Monday his bonus time came to a sudden end. So, you never know.

In case you wonder what happened to the couple in the first photo. We changed into an old couple day by day without noticing it. And now, sixty years later, we look like this.

dscn2554

We have come a long way and I’m happy that last year we were able to visit Berlin, our hometown, once more. If we are lucky, we will be able to see Berlin again in two years time. Our health allowing, of course.

I nearly forgot. For the fifth time, we became great-grandparents. So the family is growing and we hope the politicians are not mucking up the great-grandchildren’s future.

For 2017 I wish all my followers all the best. Most of all stay healthy because without good health life can be a drag.

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RELATED

In Memory Lane20/09/2012In “Diary”

Berlin’s U-Bahn13/01/2013In “Memories”

In Berlin on a Hot Day21/07/2017In “Diary”This entry was posted in DiaryMemoriesUncategorized and tagged BerlinBookendsOur WeddingSimon and Garfunkel by berlioz1935. Bookmark the permalink.

12 THOUGHTS ON “MEMORIES OF THE PAST AND TOWARDS 2017”

  1. Robert M. Weiss on  said:Thank you, Peter, for reminding me of how special Simon and Garfunkel were.Reply ↓
  2. gerard oosterman on  said:A very fine piece of reflection, Peter. Life can be unpredictable, which I suppose gives it colour. Helvi and I both wish you good health and all the best for the future.Reply ↓
    • berlioz1935on  said:Thank you, Gerard and Helvi. Life is indeed unpredictable and was ever so. When the cave man stepped out of his cave he did not know whether he will bring home a Mammoth leg or he would we dinner for a Sabretooth Tiger. Today life is decided by Twitter. The American elect will run his country and us by announcing his intentions by twitter. How unpredictable is that? My own future is in the balance and I will hear tomorrow from my doctor was is in stall for me.Reply ↓
  3. Munira on  said:Absolutely loved the song….moved me to tears.
    A very happy 2017 to you and Aunty Uta 
    May you never be troubled by ill health and continue being full of life for as long as you live 
    AMEN!!
    Congratulations on your 60th anniversary…….and the newest addition to your family! And thank you for your good wishes. Reply ↓
    • berlioz1935on  said:Dear Munira, a heartfelt “Thank you” from me and Aunty Uta. It is so good to hear from you. In our uncertain times, one wonders and worries too much. I suppose.We are getting older and every time the body sends out a signal we wonder what could behind this. But we are still okay.Lots of Love and best wishes from the both of us. Reply ↓
  4. Sharmishtha Basu on  said:Reblogged this on The world just the way IT is to Sharmishtha Basu.Reply ↓
  5. Sharmishtha Basu on  said:it looks like she is a little afraid that if you will love her the way she hopes you will! well you did! Reply ↓
  6. Sharmishtha Basu on  said:are you two blessed or what!!!!Reply ↓
    • berlioz1935on  said:I think we are blessed. We are doing m ost things together. If she is only five minutes out of my sight, I fret.

This is already Marianne’s Diary Nr. 4!

How can a single woman have an attractive single man as a close friend in a strictly platonic relationship?

Usually it might be rather unlikely that this kind of relationship remains strictly platonic if it is a rather close relationship where they communicate more or less constantly. All of a sudden, Marianne becomes aware, that, even though Jack really likes her as a friend, he is not at all interested in having an intimate relationship with her. He might sometimes say so, but his actions are more, that he likes the attention of other women.

She realises now, that she has to cut herself loose from Jack. There is no other way. She reckons, she may still have a chance of meeting someone else. Anyhow, she does like the idea to have the freedom to be able to perhaps go out on a date. It has been an awful long time since she has been dating anyone in a romantic way. She thinks back, how exciting it was, when she was dating Gunter, her husband, such a long time ago. On their first date they went to see a movie. And it was a great success!

Actually, she thinks back, that she met Gunter by going out with a girlfriend. You never know, this sort of thing, might still work. Going out with one of her woman friends might perhaps be a chance of meeting an attractive man in her age group! Maybe, there’s going to be a New Year’s Eve party at the Club that they could go to. Well, she thinks, whatever will be, will be. Marianne is determined to make the most of the last years of her life. There might not be many years left anyway. She just hopes, that she stays healthy enough for a bit longer. And for Jack she wishes good health too, and Good Luck!

Uta’s Diary September 2022

A week ago, I contemplated what would happen during the week of my birthday. (See below!)

Well, my birthday has come and gone on Wednesday, the 21st. Five ladies from the neighbourhood were joining me in some celebrations. But it was a cool, cloudy day. This is why we stayed inside for a bit of lunch. Then later in the afternoon we shared one bottle of Bubbly. There was also some birthday cake, that Joan, one of my neighbours, had been baking. We all had a very good time! 🙂

The following Thursday and Friday it rained a lot. I also suffered from an infection on my chest, and my voice did sound very weak. By Saturday I felt alright again. But my Friday outing to the Club I had to cancel. I’ll catch up with the celebrations at the Club the following Friday! 🙂

Now, yesterday on Sunday the 25th, I had a very good celebrations with my family. Luckily it was a beautiful, sunny day. Just perfect! 🙂

Today, Monday, it is cold and cloudy again. Feels, like we’re back to winter!

AuntyUta

September 21: Outside on my Deck some Morning Celebrations with my Neighbours!

September 23: Birthday Cake with Knitting Group Ladies at the Club!

September 25: All Day Birthday Celebrations with the whole Family!

I am going to remember September 27. This is when Great-Grandson Alexander Robert turns 8. And our friend Sylvia turns 65.

:

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A copy of a Post from 2013

After the last weekend in July 2013

I had taken the painkilling tablets the doctor had prescribed for me. I was supposed to take three times two tablets per day, however not more than six a day with intervals of at of at least six hours. For three days I took the six tablets per day. On Friday I already felt much better. I walked a lot in the sun. The right hand didn’t feel as painful any more. There was still some feeling of pins and needles, but I was able to do a lot more house-work than during the past few weeks. Friday afternoon Irene and Marion came to my place. We played a game of scrabble as we always do when we meet on a Friday afternoon. Then we had our coffee break. And after coffee and cake it was time for some games of Rummy. Irene said she’d have to leave early for her son was to come to have dinner with them. She went home just before five. We had had three hours of togetherness. For me three hours was plenty. I honestly felt very, very tired and was glad when Marion decided to go home too. Maybe she would have liked to stay a bit longer. I don’t know. However I did not hold back and proclaimed that I felt dead tired and desperately needed a bit of a rest. I did lie down on the sofa in the living-room.

Peter had been doing his things all afternoon but he agreed that he would cook dinner.  He cooked some lovely cauliflower with breadcrumbs in plenty of butter. I needed only a short rest. Soon I got up again to have dinner with Peter. I felt very grateful that Peter had undertaken kitchen duties.  This bit of a rest was so good for me.  Before Peter started cooking he took my blood pressure. It was extremely low, however the pulse rate was very high. Peter gave me a glass of water. When he took my blood pressure again after about half an hour, the pulse rate had normalised and the blood pressure seemed pretty normal overall. It’s amazing what a difference a bit of rest can make!

On Saturday morning I got up very early because I had gone to sleep early the night before. My right arm and hand felt like it was improving a lot. I took a shower and continuously did exercises with arms and hands. Since I felt so much better and it promised to be a calm sunny morning, I had the idea to be walking to the pool. I very much longed for the solar heated water of the pool.   Just the perfect morning to stretch out in the water for a few minute, I thought.

I had breakfast with Peter. I planned to arrive at the pool towards ten o’clock. There was some time to do a few things around the house and in the kitchen. Ten thirty am is the time when we like to watch the German News Program from Berlin. At the same time we usually have a cup of morning tea. When I told Peter I would be walking to the pool he reminded me I would not be able to watch the German News then. My response was that if he picked me up from the pool by twenty minutes past ten we could both be sitting in front of the TV by half past ten. Peter agreed that he would pick me up at the set time.

So I walked to the pool. It was a very pleasant walk. I did not have to walk too fast. Very cheerfully I arrived at the pool and talked to some attendants at the entrance. I soon noticed there was a class of women in the deep end of the pool. The instructress stood at the edge of the pool and gave instructions to some lively music. I was happy to stay at the shallow end of the pool. I had the whole area to myself. The water was flooded with beautiful sunshine. Doing my movements I felt very invigorated. I loved to have this bit of music from the top end. It helped me with moving about rather enthusiastically. I thanked God for such a wonderful morning.

After a few minutes all the women from the class did get out of the pool and assembled in the shower room. I soon followed. I was ready on time for Peter to pick me up. A bit after eleven we got ready to go to Dapto Shopping Centre. It took us nearly an hour to finish our shopping there. We bought some very good food and felt very happy with our purchases. However on our list were a lot more things to buy at another place. This would have taken us another hour. We decided to buy the other things on the following day, which was a Sunday. We wanted to go home and get lunch ready.

Saturday night I did fall asleep in front of the TV. When I woke up I noticed the TV had been turned off and Peter was in the other room talking to his sister Ilse on Skype. Ilse lives in Berlin where they have a great heat wave at the moment.  I could hear every word Peter was saying and also every word Ilse was saying. After a while Peter came looking whether I was awake. He suggested I come over and talk to Ilse for a bit too. I love having a conversation with Ilse. I went to talk to her. There is always something to  talk about with Ilse. This talk with Ilse cheered me up a lot.

This is what I published on the 3rd of January 2021

Big Loss

Our Dream Home, is this it?

https://auntyuta.com/2011/11/

All the Sundays after Peter died

Today is the4thSunday after Peter died/On th 8th of November, that is just a few weeks ago, when Peter was still alive and able to visit the local doctor (with Olivia’s help that is), yes on the 8th of November I republished one of the posts from November 2011.

Now, I assume that most of my readers would not like to go to the trouble of looking up all these posts. However, for me it was most interesting to read through all of them again. It helps to give some kind of substance to what I do remember about the past nine years or so. These posts show me, that already nine years ago I could not help myself thinking about what would happen when Peter and I would come into our eighties. Well, Peter made it to 85 without any significant changes in our surroundings. I am 86 already. I must admit I am not at all used to organising some trades people to do any necessary repairs. Peter always did this. He always pointed out to me: “You can do it if you like!” But did he really want me to do it? I don’t think so. Whenever he was supposed to show me something, he soon got impatient and took over, doing whatever needed to be done rather himself. I must admit, I am a rather slow learner and always got scared I would not learn fast enough or forget soon again, how to do certain things. This also went very much so with work on the computer too. Whenever something went wrong on the computer he would take over totally, yes, maybe showing me a few things but without making sure that I had understood it properly. And it was very hard for me to ask for repeat instructions. He would just say: “But I showed you already!” and leave it at that.

In a lot of ways I am now totally dependent on the help of my children. I am extremely lucky to have three capable and loving children. But it is difficult for me to accept that I may have to disrupt their lives too much. I would like to have a certain type of independence where I feel that I am still capable of making my own decisions in every way and where I have not to told by anyone how to live my life!

One of my concerns at the moment is the ever increasing need for an overhaul of my backyard. When I look at that post from 22nd of August 2016 about the loss of three of our big trees, I am astounded how this backyard has changed again over the last four years or so!

She needed life-saving surgery. A hospital gave her Panadol through a grate and sent her away

Four Corners

 / 

By Louise MilliganNaomi Selvaratnam and Lauren Day

Posted 3h ago3 hours ago, updated 1h ago1 hours ago

Collage graphic showing Denise Booth, standing at her sister's grave. She and a friend are surrounded by graves and a sign.
Denise’s sister died just two months after being diagnosed with an easily-preventable condition.(Four Corners: Nick Wiggins)

Help keep family & friends informed by sharing this article

abc.net.au/news/doomadgee-indigenous-teen-rheumatic-heart-disease-death-hospital/100858716COPY LINKSHARE

Denise Booth tends to her sister’s grave every evening before the sun goes down.

“We miss her,” Denise says quietly.

“Miss her ways. And her smiles and that.”

WARNING: Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander readers are advised that this article contains images of a person who has died, used with the permission of their family.

So many graves in Doomadgee cemetery belong to young people like Yvette “Betty” Booth.

Just two months before she died, the teenager was diagnosed with an illness that has all but disappeared in most of Australia.

Three teenage women smile in a selfie. An illustration of a rose sits to the side of the image.
Betty (centre) was just 18 years old when she died.(Supplied/Four Corners: Nick Wiggins)

Denise has the illness too. It’s called rheumatic heart disease (RHD).

Betty was supposed to get weekly check-ups and urgent surgery, but that never happened.

She visited Doomadgee Hospital’s emergency department 12 times in under two months.

On some of those occasions, she was given Panadol through a security grate and sent away.

Her family is heartbroken and angry.

A young woman looks to the side, a sad expression on her face. Her face is sweaty from the summer heat.
Denise Booth at her sister’s grave.(Four Corners: Louie Eroglu ACS)

“We are human beings, you know?” says Betty’s uncle, Martin Evans.

“We want to get the same treatment as the next person.

“What happened at that hospital — it’s just not right.”

Betty’s death is one of three in the space of a year uncovered by Four Corners in an investigation into health care in this remote town.

Diagnosis

When doctor Bo Remenyi visited Doomadgee in July 2019 to screen children for RHD, she recognised Betty Booth and her family right away.

Dr Remenyi started her medical career in the remote north-west Queensland town and the plight of RHD patients had inspired her to specialise in paediatric cardiology.

She had treated Betty as a baby 18 years earlier and even babysat her.

When she examined Betty, now aged 18, Dr Remenyi quickly realised Betty had severe RHD.

Dr Remenyi stands with her arms around Norma and Betty in a photo. Next to the photo is a drawing of a stethoscope.
Doctor Bo Remenyi (centre) with Betty and her mother Norma Mick.(Supplied/Four Corners: Nick Wiggins)

Betty needed urgent surgery to repair the valves in her heart.

Dr Remenyi’s team left detailed instructions for her care and multiple health bodies — including Doomadgee Hospital’s doctors and director of nursing — were emailed Betty’s referral to a cardiology service.

Despite this, no record of her illness was kept on Doomadgee Hospital’s file.

Betty was supposed to be reviewed weekly, but that never happened.

‘The shut-up pill’

Betty first went to the hospital four days after her diagnosis, at 11pm with a cough, fever and vomiting.

She was given Panadol and treatment for dehydration and sent home to return in daylight hours.

On that occasion, staff took her temperature and pulse, but that wouldn’t always be the case.

Dr Remenyi says it’s not unusual for patients who go to the hospital on weekends and after hours not to be properly assessed.

“The conversation takes place over a cage, without actually touching the patient or examining the patient or giving that real opportunity to discuss the symptoms,” she says.

Betty would go on to visit the emergency department 12 times, with symptoms including difficulty breathing, fever, an abnormally high heart rate, and coughing up blood.

But she was given paracetamol (and once, antibiotics) – often handed through the locked after-hours security window – and sent away.

A Doomadgee Hospital hours sign directing people to use a call bell when closed. Next to the image is a drawing of two pills.
Betty went to the hospital several times with symptoms like coughing up blood and difficulty breathing.(Four Corners: Louie Eroglu ACS, Nick Wiggins)

On some of these occasions, hospital staff did not carry out basic vital signs observations that are routine in other hospitals – taking temperature, pulse, oxygen saturations.

“How many times can you present, with the same symptoms, pressing symptoms, coughing up blood, shortness of breath, tachycardia, and each time the outcome is not different?” Dr Remenyi says.

She says Betty’s care represents “clearly, a failure of the health system”.

An independent review of Betty’s care would later say, “generally patients do not present in the middle of the night for no reason, and it is rare for them to present frequently at that time”.

Vicki Wade, director of lobby group RHD Australia, says the use of paracetamol in this way is disappointingly widespread in remote Aboriginal communities.

“We know that it’s not the right treatment, but unfortunately, Panadol’s easy to give out, so you know, people will get the Panadol and we’ll say, ‘oh, that’s the shut-up pill’,” she says.

Four Corners investigates how the health system has failed women like Betty, tonight on ABC TV and iview.

‘They are supposed to be professionals’

After multiple presentations to Doomadgee Hospital in August 2019, Betty went to Townsville, where her mother was having an operation.

Townsville Hospital was also aware of Betty’s diagnosis and while there was toing and froing between medical services and Betty to try to set a date for her surgery, it never happened.

When Betty returned to Doomadgee after three weeks, she fell desperately ill again.

Marilyn Haala, a relative who was staying at Betty’s house that weekend, noticed Betty’s face and neck were “all swollen”. Swelling can be a serious warning sign of heart failure.

“She was sick, she just kept coughing — she didn’t look good,” Ms Haala says.

“She was struggling to breathe.”

A woman looks ahead with a blank expression, next to her on a couch sits a man, also looking ahead.
Marilyn Haala encouraged Betty to go to the hospital.(Four Corners: Louie Eroglu ACS)

The family decided Betty should go to the hospital, but when Betty’s sister took her to the emergency department, her family says she was again sent home with Panadol.

“An 18-year-old girl should not be sent home with Panadol,” Mr Evans says.

“They are supposed to be the professionals, check her file for goodness sake.”

Weenie George, the mother of Betty’s best friend, says this practice was commonplace at the hospital.

“They don’t treat them and check them,” Ms George says.

“They just send them home. They don’t do their job at night.”

Monday, September 23

Weenie’s husband Terrence and daughter Shakaya both had rheumatic heart disease, so when Betty turned up to their house, they knew the signs of a very unwell patient.

“She was looking a bit puffy in the face. She was breathless talking to me and Terrence,” Weenie George says.

A woman sitting just outside a doorway, looks into the camera with a serious expression on her face.
Weenie George says it’s common at night for the hospital to send people home without checking them.(Four Corners: Louie Eroglu ACS)

Terrence George says when Betty sat down on their verandah, he said: “You look sick, Bubba, you better go to the hospital”.

That’s what Betty did. She never came home.

In the afternoon, a nurse recorded Betty had a fever and a fast and irregular heartbeat.

But critically, yet again, there was no alert on the hospital’s online system to show Betty had severe RHD and required urgent surgery.

By 4:45pm, Betty had been waiting for hours, seriously ill, and staff finally decided she should fly out, but she was categorised as “low dependency”, meaning staff had up to six hours to get her on a flight.

An hour later, a plane was ordered from Townsville, 850 kilometres away, instead of the closest big hospital, Mount Isa.

Two photos of Betty from social media, one with an animal ears filter on it. Next to the photos is a drawing of a plane.
Betty waited for hours before staff decided to fly her out of Doomadgee.(Supplied/Four Corners: Nick Wiggins)

Marilyn Haala and her husband Clennon Bob were pacing around outside the hospital, “stressing out”.

“I wanted to go in to see her,” Mr Bob says.

“No-one would let me go in, even the nurse or the doctors.”

Within an hour, Betty deteriorated badly.

By the time a Royal Flying Doctor Service plane finally landed at Doomadgee, Betty Booth had been dead for almost two hours.

“[The] doctor that was treating her, came out and gave us the bad news: Betty didn’t make it,” Mr Bob says, slowly shaking his head.

“It broke both of our hearts,” Ms Haala says, weeping.

She says it is still painful to talk about Betty, but she hopes it will help other young people in the Doomadgee community with RHD.

“Because what they did there, they just going to keep killing people,” Ms Haala says.

“They going to keep killing them. And get away with it.”

A long wait for answers

Just three months after diagnosing Betty, Dr Remenyi returned to Doomadgee for the teenager’s funeral.

“To see Betty, who was a young, enthusiastic, caring, compassionate young woman with a bright future – to see her in a coffin … devastating,” Dr Remenyi says.

“I felt angry that in 20 years, nothing had changed.

“I became a paediatric cardiologist because I wanted to stop young women, specifically, dying from rheumatic heart disease.

“When I diagnosed Betty with rheumatic heart disease, I felt really positive.

“I felt like I could change the trajectory of her life.

“Now I’m seeing her in a coffin … I felt responsible.”

A community protest followed Betty’s death. Locals were angry and demanded answers.

Doomadgee protest
Locals staged a protest outside the hospital in September 2019.(Supplied: Aiden Green/Four Corners: Nick Wiggins)

The local area health service promised an independent review into what went wrong, but the family heard nothing for almost two years.

In August 2021, shortly after Four Corners began making calls about this story, Betty’s mother Norma Mick suddenly heard from the local area health service, asking her to come for a meeting to discuss a report into Betty’s death.

Ms Mick was shocked to see the report was dated March 2020 – 17 months before.

In all that time, nobody at Doomadgee Hospital or in the health department had thought to share the report with the family.

It catalogued a series of failures that preceded Betty’s death.

Treated ‘like dogs’

The “Betty’s Story” report found Doomadgee Hospital had “clinical risk and poor governance”, low expectations for Aboriginal patients’ health, and an unwelcoming hospital environment.

“[It feels] like they treat us like animals,” Ms Haala says, angrily.

“It’s the truth.”

Other locals cited in the report said the hospital treated them “like dogs”.

A woman wearing glasses looks up, passed the camera, at a screen.
Dr Remenyi hoped Betty’s diagnosis would change her life.(Four Corners: Louie Eroglu ACS)

Dr Remenyi says there’s a division between health services and the community.

“It’s racism … one group of people thinking potentially that they are better than the other,” she says.

Pat Turner, who heads the National Aboriginal Community Controlled Health Organisation (NACCHO), the peak body in indigenous community health, says it’s inexcusable for a patient to be repeatedly turned away like Betty was.

“If I present to an emergency department and I’ve got serious symptoms, I don’t want to be handed Panadol through the grate.”

“I want a full triage and I want to have all the work done that any other Australian has a right to expect.

“The racism is absolutely out there, and it has to stop.”

A photo of two children playing in the street next to a public phone and a photo of two horses on a street next to a crashed car
RHD thrives in communities with poor housing and living conditions.(Four Corners: Louie Eroglu ACS, Nick Wiggins)

Despite the high incidence of RHD in Doomadgee for decades, the “Betty’s Story” report found staff at the hospital had “limited understanding of rheumatic heart disease”.

The disease, which had all but disappeared in white Australia by the 1990s, now almost exclusively affects Aboriginal Australians.

What is RHD?

  • It’s caused when repeated strep A infections in the throat or skin sores are not adequately treated, and they develop rheumatic fever
  • Getting rheumatic fever repeatedly damages the valves in the heart and leads to RHD, which can cause heart failure, stroke and death
  • It thrives in poverty – where poor housing and living conditions can allow the strep bug to spread

Rates of RHD have risen from 67 cases in 100,000 in 2014 to 81 cases in 100,000 in 2019.

But the incidence of RHD in Doomadgee’s children is far greater — 4,400 cases in 100,000.

That’s higher than sub-Saharan Africa.

“It is an appalling statistic in a country as capable and competent as Australia,” Pat Turner says.

“We stand back and watch children, time after time again, year after year, decade after decade, having still the same end result,” Dr Remenyi says, “Which is dying far too young.”

Within a year of Betty Booth’s death, two other young women with RHD died after seeking treatment in Doomadgee.

One of them was 17-year old Shakaya George, daughter of Weenie and Terrence George, the other was Shakaya’s aunt, Adele Sandy.

“They’re not helping us,” Ms Haala says of the hospital.

“They’re killing us.”

After being contacted by Four Corners, the Queensland coroner announced on Friday it would hold an inquest into the women’s deaths, including “the adequacy of the care and treatment received”.

Queensland Health Minister Yvette D’Ath told Four Corners in a statement that all three cases were under investigation by North West Hospital and Health Service.

“I would also expect any allegations about the standard of care delivered at Doomadgee Hospital to be investigated,” she said.

Follow the investigation into the deaths of these three women tonight on Four Corners on ABC TV and ABC iview.

Noam Chomsky: on the Pandemic – Ukraine crisis & Climate Change

Feb 11, 2022

This interview with Noam Chomsky was recorded

on the 10th of January 2022.


This interview is part of the Europe Matters podcast. A bold, fresh and curious podcast series that delves deep into thought-provoking questions pertinent to where Europe is at and where it is heading. You can listen to other episodes here: https://pod.link/europe-matters ————————————————— Subscribe: Website: https://europematters.com

Here are some of the replies to this interview:

william candler

1 day agodamn good interview; Chomsky is really wise. And his interviewer was excellent too.

10

Europe Matters

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Chris Vy.

Chris Vy.

4 days agoWhat a very meaningful interview with a great politics Guru.

21REPLY

Scott Morley

Scott Morley

5 days agoIt’s painful to know everything he says is true. Its more painful having confirmed especially in the past 5 years there are even more people around me who support these evils than I knew

12REPLY

Kathy Endo

Kathy Endo

2 days agoI do love his wide lens view and years of experience. I have read him over the years and honor his opinion. Shame about Assange. I will watch this show again, not listened before. Comments here are rough, I wish I had an ounce of his knowledge even if I don’t always agree, He deserves respect. As he comes to his last years He must be sad to see this world as is. I have Hope in our youth to carry on and find the missing links to save people and planet in a non violent way and work toward equanimity.Show less

16REPLY

barakjoe

barakjoe

11 days agoThank you so much for these very marvellous clear words !

15

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Joe JoeLesh

Joe JoeLesh

3 days agoYou (the interviewer) showed some incredible intelligence in just letting Mr Chomsky talk. Too many interviewers try and make themselves appear intelligent by shoehorning their ideas into a Chomsky interview. And doing so they normally prove themselves quite the opposite.Read more

15

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helenp7

helenp7

15 hours agoHow brilliant. I cannot thank Mr Chomsky enough. It is still the clearest voice I have heard on world issues. I try to follow all the non mainstream media I can from different regions in the world and I’m still massively ill informed. Until I hear Mr Chomsky link all the strands of the past that shape events today. How one person can have this depth of knowledge, perspective and integrity I do not know. But I do know that we all need to do better.Read more

8REPLY

Rafael Milani Medeiros

Rafael Milani Medeiros

7 days agoThanks to the channel for this interview and the questions made by the presenter.

10REPLY

Jeff Hambleton

Jeff Hambleton

1 day agoFunny how Noam Chomsky can sum everything in just a few words. I was just remembering the Russian tank that came back to our scrap yard in Saudi to be melted down. Whilst these tanks were stuck on the road trying to get back to Baghdad, the American planes were flying up and down firing depleted Uranium shells killing everybody they could. Just like in Vietnam. Kill as many as possible. Even in WWII, red cross vehicles weren’t targeted because they work for both side. Not in Iran however. I saw for myself. The US have long ceased giving quarter due to their arrogance. Please don’t complain when the tables are finally turnedRead more

1REPLY

jaye see

jaye see

13 days agoSomeone’s finally figured out how to place a microphone on Chomsky.

77

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rebecca rosten

rebecca rosten

9 days ago (edited)we love you Naom we greatly depend on your leadership!!!

22

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Sweny

Sweny

5 days agoWhenever I need truth and clarity I turn to Noam Chomsky..absolute legend and I love the Gandalf look 💪

50REPLYView 3 replies

Antoine de Biran

Antoine de Biran

22 hours agoThe interviewer sequence of questions is perfectly woven.

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Alexander Frings

Alexander Frings

5 days agoGreat interview, many thanks for conducting and posting it!

5REPLY

Anthony Pape

Anthony Pape

3 hours agoWhat will we do without Noam Chomsky? He is like a walking, living version of cliff notes with keen insights. He’s literally read every book, every government memo, so you don’t have to. Not advocating not reading or certainly not being a critical thinker but he is such a wealth of information. He can recall the Minsk agreement and how it could help. The what? Well you remember whe Gorbochev conceded West Germany to join Nato but not a step east agreement. Oh, ya . . But he does make it easy to jump in and get up to speed on a number of issues and proposed solutions along with examples of the same issue happening 75 years ago and how it was handled. Great interview!Read more

3REPLYView reply

Scott Morley

Scott Morley

5 days agoCongratulations booking Mr. Chomsky. What an honor.

37REPLY

Hilary Porter

Hilary Porter

5 days agoIt’s a joy to listen to someone with such a grasp on the actuality. Chomsky is the guru of the 21st century. We have to listen to him. Those who have the means to make a difference must take on the Chomsky mantle of wisdom and carry it forward asking his guidance whilst he is still around to give it.

18REPLYView 5 replies

KL Cheong

KL Cheong

10 days agoFrom Singapore. It would be nice if you can interview someone who can explain why US has so much control over Europe and what Europe can to do to be more independent from US.

24

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R YF

R YF

5 days ago“Brains are not concentrated in rich countries.” Noam Chomsky you are and Always be my Hero. I love and respect you. I wish I could have Seen you in person. You make me feel so peaceful… Wish you all the best. Thank you for this great interview.

48

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REPLYView 6 replies

Nafisa OBrien

Nafisa OBrien

9 days agoPure wisdom and formidable courage that is noam chomsky. Funny on all reports on msm regarding Ukraine crisis never heard Minsk 2 agreement referred to by a reporter. Why could that be?

8REPLYView reply

Theo de Rouw

Theo de Rouw

4 days agoThis is what we need. Thanks to Mr Chomsky for these clear views

5REPLY

Maya Rada

Maya Rada

3 days agoAgain had no idea about Politics in Europe but as I am listening to this video then I began to understand bet by bet , again thank you .

2

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jan edvinsson

jan edvinsson

7 hours agoVery good! Good sound and good texting! A bright moment! I will keep this to share now and then. Thank you!REPLY

God

God

7 days agoChomsky still going strong❤❤❤

17REPLYView reply

kurt materne

kurt materne

7 days agoRemember when Chomsky’s views were radical?

14REPLYView reply

Roman Dobczansky

Roman Dobczansky

2 days agoHad the honor of hearing him at the university of Maryland after reading his Debate with Foucault

4REPLYView reply

Howharditis

Howharditis

1 day agoMy question to you is with all the dramas leading up to and during this so call pandemic you believe people should be trusting these vaccines.

4REPLY

Fabio Oliveira

Fabio Oliveira

2 days agoWhat a pleasure!! Thanks again and again Mr. Chomsky

1REPLY

Jessica Falstein

Jessica Falstein

7 days agoFinally i can hear Professor Chomsky! Great audio.

13REPLY

H.E. Hazelhorst

H.E. Hazelhorst

1 day agoWith all respect, I believe mr Chomsky is very naive regarding the intentions and way of thinking of Vladimir Putin, in relation to the internal situation in Russia. At the end of the day, Russia has developed into a corrupt, autocratic state.

3REPLY

Ronald Dumsfeld

Ronald Dumsfeld

1 day agoWow! Noam Chomsky solved the Ukrainian crisis! Thank you Noam!REPLY

Gam Gam's Hot Banana Water

Gam Gam’s Hot Banana Water

7 days agoThank you for this!

5REPLY

Micael S. Lopes

Micael S. Lopes

8 days agoCongrats, nice podcast. Someone who could explain the tech gap between EU and the US/China. The other day read the Villani’s strategy for the AI…would be cool…

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Okibo Lianato

Okibo Lianato

1 day agoThe Misk agreement is officially dead after Russia has proclaimed independence of the so called Donetsk and Luhansk people’s republics and started moving more of their troops (not hiding this time) on the Ukrainian land.

1REPLY

Mr Anderson

Mr Anderson

3 days agoMr Chomsky always giving great informationREPLY

gamerunknown

gamerunknown

21 hours agoChomsky refers to the Taiping rebellion when he discusses the most devastating war outside of China – it’s really very obscure in England, I never learnt about it until I started researching precursor’s to the Boxer rebellion (also looking up Gordon’s actions in Sudan), yet claimed a comparable number of lives to the devastating world wars and was instigated by a millenarian cenobitic Christian, incredibly unusual.Read more

1REPLY

William Frazier

William Frazier

1 day agoTrade agreements just a means for continuing imperialism.

3REPLY

doctorberkowitz

doctorberkowitz

2 days agoI love you so much, Mr. Chomsky!!!

3REPLY

Robert Jung

Robert Jung

4 days agoThank you for taking the time to talk with Noam, he’s my favorite person on world issues. I subscribed to your channel. Many thanks!

3REPLY

Alan Arnold

Alan Arnold

1 day agoWe simply need to invite Russia to join NATO.

3REPLY

Edith Rambure-Lambert

Edith Rambure-Lambert

1 day agoSo clear and powerful, no blablabla, as Greta Thunberg would say..

2REPLY

jeff watson

jeff watson

1 day agoThe US devotes more money and resources to their military and have sadly used it and their media to utilize it as their solution to disagreements and conflicts worldwide. Hardly difficult to see others being wary or even hostile to US actions. The EU does not speak as one. China and Russia do ( like it or not within their internal boundaries) and they see Ukraine entering into NATO and the EU economy as a threat. US dominance in the decision making weakens the EU’s integrity and influence in world affairs.Read more

1REPLY

Sua Ega

Sua Ega

4 days ago (edited)Thanks for your invitation Mr Chomsky, he is a person well knowledgeable for his field of history( in society) and politics 👏👍

4REPLY

Muon Ray

Muon Ray

8 hours agoGreat Interview. Prof Chomsky is always on point and great at reading the pulse of the global situation. I think you guys should definitely interview Diem25s Yanis Varoufakis, hes great at local European politics.

1REPLYView reply

lalas lalakis

lalas lalakis

7 days agocongrats mate for your show!!

8REPLY

EJWS

EJWS

7 hours agoChomsky’s cluelessness about these Vaccines (talking as though they prevent transmission and aren’t driving variants) breaks my heartREPLY

Surajit Mukhopadhyay

Surajit Mukhopadhyay

2 days agoThis is such a wonderful interview. Privilged to have listened to it.

8REPLY

Robert Calamusso

Robert Calamusso

4 days agoNoam is great. We have much to learn. To share. To help each other. Europe, US, Russia.

8

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inela beqaj

inela beqaj

15 hours agoWhat a great talk ! Thank you Mr. Chomsky!

2

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Kich Miner

Kich Miner

5 days agoWow what an achievement you have 136 subs now 137 and you have the attention of one of the worlds greatest minds well done.!!!!!

6

Europe Matters

REPLYView 2 replies from Europe Matters and others

Demosophist

Demosophist

8 hours agoI love Noam Chomsky. He proves that even highly intelligent people can be ignorant as a post.REPLY

Teri Wells

Teri Wells

3 days agoThe Russian people have suffered and sacrificed for centuries, in fact for its entire history, in ways Americans will never be able to comprehend. Meanwhile we Americans continue to revel in our material greed and point our weapons of mass destruction at anyone we deem will get even a tiny share of the world’s resources. Our collective karma is coming for us.Read more

3REPLY

Europe Matters

Europe Matters4 days ago (edited)We have added Italian, German, Spanish, French, Russian and Chinese subtitles. Most of these translations have been made automatically with Google Translate, so if you find any mistakes please reply to this comment with the time stamp and text to be improved. Don’t forget to subscribe for our upcoming video with Social Innovator of 2022 professor Alberto Alemanno.Read more

14REPLYView 3 replies from Europe Matters and others

Joseph Rigan

Joseph Rigan

1 day agoThank you Noam for talking about the USA as a backwater, that Bernie could run run as a Christian democrat in Germany, but in America he’s a radical big bad wolf…universal healthcare, free university education, these are too radical when profit is the last word….

7REPLY

Thomas Bryant

Thomas Bryant

1 day agoLuckily my medicare (government insurance) covered my emergency room when I was stung by a swarm of ground bees in my yard (I’m allergic to their venom as it turns out) and I got prompt care upon showing my medicare card. Prior to turning 65, I had no insurance at all. The bill they sent to medicare was over 5 thousand dollars for my 45 minutes in the ER.Read more

3REPLY

Bisquick

Bisquick

3 days agoFantastic interview! In spite of being purely speculative, I think that counter-factual regarding Assange was actually quite an interesting thought-experiment to consider the degree of domination the US has over Europe.Read more

2REPLY

Matthew Kesner

Matthew Kesner

4 days agoSeems like a bit of an over-exaggeration the country has had 11 years where we’ve not been at War I believe… out of the 244 years😏😟

1REPLY

Jo-anne Richardson

Jo-anne Richardson

2 days agoSo glad to hear Noam again. Great interview and cudos to the interviewer. Very intelligent thoughtful style and questions.

2REPLY

David Hull

David Hull

12 hours agoA magnificent man.REPLY

Nicklejack P

Nicklejack P

4 days agoI love Chomsky! It is always a privilege to be able to take away a piece of his wisdom. I have to ask, though, why has no one responsible had to answer to the world for this pandemic? So many deaths with roots to the decisions of certain people. Is it simply politics? If it is, do the deaths of these innocent people truly mean less than some form of face value? Side note here; it is absolutely gut wrenching to know how the poor of the world take the biggest hit in regards to lack of care.Read more

2REPLY

Lee Seaman

Lee Seaman

1 day agoA remarkable interview with such an articulate polymath who makes his insights accessible to all. Thank you for sharing.

8REPLY

NH

NH

4 days agoI think we are already past the tipping point with regards to climate change.

4REPLYView 3 replies

charlie brandt

charlie brandt

2 days agoGlad Noam talked about Assange…

2REPLY

Peter Soderberg

Peter Soderberg

3 days agoThis man that always has been interesting and dynamic, he’s way past his expiration date 😂REPLYView reply

Jj Hassonhjkl567*

Jj Hassonhjkl567*

4 days agoSgt. Rah “Taylor, I remember when you first came in here. Talking about how much you admired the bast$rd. Pfc Taylor “I was wrong” Sgt. Rah “Wrong? You ain’t never been right. Bout nothing.”

1REPLY

Zippy Thekid

Zippy Thekid

1 day agoA compromise is beneficial to all. Consensus equals community.REPLY

Y Brueckner

Y Brueckner

1 day agoBig score for you! Subscribing!! I love NC!!

1REPLY

Gergely Zoltan

Gergely Zoltan

1 day agoI am deeply ashamed to be European. At least US is saying what it does and does what it says. In contrast the EU is spineless, coward and unprincipled. They sanction but benefit as well all the while they communicate a third thing.REPLY

Daily Dao

1 day ago08:10 The vaccine developed by the Texas vaccine initiative is free of the temperature, transport and storage limitations of others.REPLY

Ze Tristan

19 hours agoThe solution was to invite Russia to join NATO too 😉

1

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Wainda Youngthain

6 days ago🙏🏻my gratitude for your mercy. If’s the European Union 🇪🇺 going’s out of the USA and the British government, I found that the European Union 🇪🇺 is more strong than the past of the USA propaganda stirring awareness against them for the Russia wrongs but it’s the democratic alliance threatening with no respect for the government’s policy of the European Union 🙏🏻. The USA has no cultures but violate laws and selfishness against their beliefs with Nato as the human in control of the military justifying.Read more

1REPLY

P R

1 day agosorry but I need to point that some notions here are very naive – implementation of Minsk agreement would not make Ukraine neutral but rather dependent on Russia and unable to freely integrate with EU against the will of Ukrainian people…REPLYAllNoam ChomskyListenableRelatedRecently uploadedWatched1:09:13NOW PLAYING

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A Conversation with

Friday, 25/02/2022

I must say, I very much long
for seeing a bit of sun again!
Nothing outside dries out any more.

So, I find, it is best, to lock myself up
in the house! 🙂

What can I do all day in the house for
enjoyment?

Actually, quite a lot!

For instance, I can look up a few very
enjoyable things on the computer!

Such as some beautiful music
to listen to! 🙂

I have some very nice, healthy food
in the house. So, I can spend hours to
cook some great vegetarian meals! 🙂

Also, I can make myself some
great tasting teas throughout
the day as often as I like! 🙂

And best of all, whenever a little tiredness
overcomes me, I can take a restorative little nap! 🙂

I found my husband watching porn and now I feel betrayed

The question I walked in on my husband watching porn and now I feel extraordinarily hurt and abandoned.

My grown-up children have left home and I have managed to have a rewarding career. However, having a good relationship always eluded me until I was in my 50s.

I have been married before and I am in my early 60s now. We have been together for a while. I thought we were ecstatically happy and that, at last, I was in a truly fulfilling and equal relationship. I now doubt all this, and have lost respect for my husband. We have tried to talk about it, and he is only sorry that I am upset and doesn’t seem sorry that he used porn. He must know women are often exploited and always objectified in these situations. He says his love for me is as it ever was, and says he’ll stop if I want, but I want him to want not to do it

You’ve discovered that you and your husband have different views about porn – and this may have triggered your teenage trauma

Close view of senior couple having a serious conversation. The focus is on the woman who is talking to the senior man. She looks concerned and worried. On the left, the man is in soft focus and looking away. They are casually dressed. Only head and shoulders are visible.
‘It is important that you have sympathy for each other’s points of view.’ Photograph: John Kirk/Getty Images
Philippa Perry

Philippa PerrySun 30 Jan 2022 17.00 AEDT

508

The question I walked in on my husband watching porn and now I feel extraordinarily hurt and abandoned.

My grown-up children have left home and I have managed to have a rewarding career. However, having a good relationship always eluded me until I was in my 50s.

I have been married before and I am in my early 60s now. We have been together for a while. I thought we were ecstatically happy and that, at last, I was in a truly fulfilling and equal relationship. I now doubt all this, and have lost respect for my husband. We have tried to talk about it, and he is only sorry that I am upset and doesn’t seem sorry that he used porn. He must know women are often exploited and always objectified in these situations. He says his love for me is as it ever was, and says he’ll stop if I want, but I want him to want not to do it.

https://3d09d839eee721b8aa61957788225513.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html

I experienced a serious trauma when I was in my teens and have had bouts of depression since then. I have not been good at choosing the right men to have relationships with, but with years of counselling I managed to turn my life around. I really thought that this time, by being with a kind and interested man I had at last got it right, but now I’m unsure.

I feel betrayed by my husband using porn. It is as though he has been cheating on me.

Philippa’s answer I’m not saying using porn is right or wrong, because me declaring judgment on it won’t change anyone’s behaviour. It is more useful to understand it. And yes, I dislike the objectifying, potentially exploitative side of the porn industry. But I can also understand it’s nice to have a little private pleasure. A bit like having a lovely, satisfying poo that you wouldn’t necessarily tell anyone about.

You mentioned your teenage trauma, so I’m thinking it is still relevant. What trauma can do is shatter previously held beliefs such as: “Most people are good and trustworthy.” After the trauma, you may have developed rigid rules like emergency measures that come with new beliefs such as, “I shouldn’t trust anyone.” I’m wondering whether discovering something new about your husband which is hard for you to understand means you’ve reverted to this type of emergency-mode way of thinking – thinking in very “all or nothing” terms. You’ve gone from “ecstatically happy” to what sounds like panic – that marrying was a mistake, as though your discovery may have reactivated this old trauma and tipped you into an emergency trauma-mode mindset.

https://3d09d839eee721b8aa61957788225513.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html

What you are doing is discovering something new about him. It’s a part of him, it’s not all of him. Some of us tend to assume that sex means the same thing to our partners that it does to us. This is not done consciously but in a sort of take-it-for-granted way, and it is often left unsaid. This is why it can be a great shock when differences are found. You might be feeling excluded because he kept this part of his sexual life a secret. Maybe you find it disgusting and feel contaminated by it. It might be tantamount to him having sex with someone else. But for him, porn is probably nothing to do with his real-life relationship with you, but instead about his relationship with himself.

Beware of seeing the issue in terms of just right and wrong

The thing to remember is that each of you will have formed different attitudes to relationships and to sex and to porn: this might be difficult to explain or talk about because both of you might not have been in the habit of putting non-conscious assumptions about sex or porn into words (perhaps not even to yourselves). But I want to encourage you to keep trying, so that each of you can understand the other. I don’t think you’ll ever be on exactly the same page, but I do think it is important that you both really understand what is on your respective pages and have sympathy for each other’s points of view.

He has probably been watching porn in private moments all the time you have been together, and all the while you loved and trusted him and felt “ecstatically happy”. He may need private time to masturbate, but whether you want this to be kept secret from you is something else to talk about. There is a difference between privacy and secrecy. The former is OK and the latter can feel like betrayal. I hope you can find a way of talking about how you each do privacy, how you need it and how you use it. It might enrich your relationship.

Porn can be destructive when it is addictive, but as he offered to give it up if you wanted him to, it does not sound like he has an addiction to it.

Beware of seeing this issue in terms of just right and wrong, and keep the dialogue open. Porn is what the genitals enjoy in private. This might be very different to who we each are with each other.

You’ve discovered that you and your husband have different views about porn – and this may have triggered your teenage trauma

Close view of senior couple having a serious conversation. The focus is on the woman who is talking to the senior man. She looks concerned and worried. On the left, the man is in soft focus and looking away. They are casually dressed. Only head and shoulders are visible.
‘It is important that you have sympathy for each other’s points of view.’ Photograph: John Kirk/Getty Images
Philippa Perry

Philippa PerrySun 30 Jan 2022 17.00 AEDT

508

The question I walked in on my husband watching porn and now I feel extraordinarily hurt and abandoned.

My grown-up children have left home and I have managed to have a rewarding career. However, having a good relationship always eluded me until I was in my 50s.

I have been married before and I am in my early 60s now. We have been together for a while. I thought we were ecstatically happy and that, at last, I was in a truly fulfilling and equal relationship. I now doubt all this, and have lost respect for my husband. We have tried to talk about it, and he is only sorry that I am upset and doesn’t seem sorry that he used porn. He must know women are often exploited and always objectified in these situations. He says his love for me is as it ever was, and says he’ll stop if I want, but I want him to want not to do it.

https://3d09d839eee721b8aa61957788225513.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html

I experienced a serious trauma when I was in my teens and have had bouts of depression since then. I have not been good at choosing the right men to have relationships with, but with years of counselling I managed to turn my life around. I really thought that this time, by being with a kind and interested man I had at last got it right, but now I’m unsure.

I feel betrayed by my husband using porn. It is as though he has been cheating on me.

Philippa’s answer I’m not saying using porn is right or wrong, because me declaring judgment on it won’t change anyone’s behaviour. It is more useful to understand it. And yes, I dislike the objectifying, potentially exploitative side of the porn industry. But I can also understand it’s nice to have a little private pleasure. A bit like having a lovely, satisfying poo that you wouldn’t necessarily tell anyone about.

You mentioned your teenage trauma, so I’m thinking it is still relevant. What trauma can do is shatter previously held beliefs such as: “Most people are good and trustworthy.” After the trauma, you may have developed rigid rules like emergency measures that come with new beliefs such as, “I shouldn’t trust anyone.” I’m wondering whether discovering something new about your husband which is hard for you to understand means you’ve reverted to this type of emergency-mode way of thinking – thinking in very “all or nothing” terms. You’ve gone from “ecstatically happy” to what sounds like panic – that marrying was a mistake, as though your discovery may have reactivated this old trauma and tipped you into an emergency trauma-mode mindset.

https://3d09d839eee721b8aa61957788225513.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html

What you are doing is discovering something new about him. It’s a part of him, it’s not all of him. Some of us tend to assume that sex means the same thing to our partners that it does to us. This is not done consciously but in a sort of take-it-for-granted way, and it is often left unsaid. This is why it can be a great shock when differences are found. You might be feeling excluded because he kept this part of his sexual life a secret. Maybe you find it disgusting and feel contaminated by it. It might be tantamount to him having sex with someone else. But for him, porn is probably nothing to do with his real-life relationship with you, but instead about his relationship with himself.

Beware of seeing the issue in terms of just right and wrong

The thing to remember is that each of you will have formed different attitudes to relationships and to sex and to porn: this might be difficult to explain or talk about because both of you might not have been in the habit of putting non-conscious assumptions about sex or porn into words (perhaps not even to yourselves). But I want to encourage you to keep trying, so that each of you can understand the other. I don’t think you’ll ever be on exactly the same page, but I do think it is important that you both really understand what is on your respective pages and have sympathy for each other’s points of view.

He has probably been watching porn in private moments all the time you have been together, and all the while you loved and trusted him and felt “ecstatically happy”. He may need private time to masturbate, but whether you want this to be kept secret from you is something else to talk about. There is a difference between privacy and secrecy. The former is OK and the latter can feel like betrayal. I hope you can find a way of talking about how you each do privacy, how you need it and how you use it. It might enrich your relationship.

Porn can be destructive when it is addictive, but as he offered to give it up if you wanted him to, it does not sound like he has an addiction to it.

Beware of seeing this issue in terms of just right and wrong, and keep the dialogue open. Porn is what the genitals enjoy in private. This might be very different to who we each are with each other.