Diary

Yesterday, on Thursday, I had some real quality time with some of my family too: We went for three hours to a beautiful park at Lake Illawarra with four children of our family! 🙂

There were heaps of other children there too, since the kids were still on their Easter holidays. Granddaughter Natasha was great in watching her nephews, aged 4 – 6 – and 8 years, as well as 18 months old niece. My daughter Monika had picked me up from home with my rollator. The two older kids are the kids of one of Monika’s sons, the two younger kids are the kids of one of her daughters. So all of them are my great-grandchildren! I enjoyed watching all of them playing to their heart’s content in this beautiful park area with lots of other children and lots and lots of playground equipment on a perfectly beautiful sunny autumn day. For lunch we had fish and chips from a nearby shop. We had brought our own drinks. I was so grateful to Monika that she had asked me to come along with them! 🙂

There was opportunity for some interesting conversations with granddaughter Natasha. She is a care worker. To be able to have some longer talks with her was very interesting! 🙂

Wife Admits Error of Judgement

Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle

Story by Pig’s Arms Cub Reporter Boo-Boo Bear

Faithful wife of 70+ years admits that it was a mistake to allow her late husband to drive himself to his own funeral.

“I should have known that no good would come of this” she told the Pig’s Arms.

Bystanders reported that the driver, referred to only as a Mr Duke swerved to avoid an allegation that he was an entitled racist bigot, before losing self control and rolling joints several times.

First responders on the scene administered Tenant’s Lager and confiscated all cameras, except that of our PA reporter who was cleverly disguised as a hedge fund manager.

The crack Edinburgh Metropolitan Police specialist VIP traffic accident cover-up team attended and reported that although the man was known to them, whether he in fact was licensed to do anything he wanted was unclear, but pretty likely to be the case and…

View original post 97 more words

The Virus and our Daughter Gaby

Peter and I had a daughter who caught the poliomyelitis virus in 1961, that is she became sick on her 4th birthday. She was soon totally paralysed, was given artificial respiration and was unconscious for many months. The doctors did not expect her to stay alive. So, when she woke up with her brain still functioning intact, it was like a miracle!

She had no memory of her previous life. However, when we were visiting her, she was soon able to communicate in German again. Also being in hospital, she learned English quickly. It turned out, she was able as a paraplegic with breathing difficulties to lead a productive life. She died just a few months before she would have turned 55. Initially, she stayed in the hospital’s respiratory ward and slept in an iron lung. She was tutored at the nearby hospital school and made many friends.

When she was ten and a half she was sent to our place, and we took care of her until she was 17. Despite some respite care, that was given to her at the hospital from time to time, we just could not cope with her care anymore by the time she was 17.

So, from age 17 till age 30 she had to cope with institutionalised care. Then she made friends with a man who was willing to be her carer. They lived in a three bedroom low rent housing commission home. Apart from David, her carer, quite a few extra people became her carers for her personal needs. Her fulltime carer, who lived in the house with her, eventually became utterly sick and could not be her carer anymore. But Gaby, our daughter, did not want to make him leave for he had nowhere else to go, and she felt, she needed to look after him. But he stayed alive and died one year after Gaby had died.

Towards the end of her life, Gaby became pretty desperate for she had no permanent carer anymore who would stay with her in the house to be there with her in an emergency. She could not depend on David that he would be of any help in an emergency. So, she was very afraid that she might end up in a hospital or some kind of institution.

We felt for her. When she died we thought that it probably had been lucky for her, that she had died in her own home surrounded by some lovely carers for she had liked to be as independent as possible. With 15 hours help per day she could manage her life adequately. She needed help three times daily! For lifting her in and out of her wheelchair and onto a commode or the bed there always had to be two people available. And someone had to do her cooking, cleaning and washing as well as reloading the battery for her electric wheelchair that enabled her to go around Sydney by using public transport such as trains and busses! But sometimes she also went out in taxis. Peter and I usually met her once a fortnight in a shopping centre to help her with her shopping of groceries.

And Gaby always enjoyed to meet our extended family on special occasions such as birthdays or Christmas or Easter. Some family members would also visit her from time to time at her home. Gaby also enjoyed very much to select little gifts for everyone. I have still a few gifts of her that remind me of her! Also, sometimes the family would meet Gaby in a beautiful park or a restaurant.

Gaby was a very good speaker despite her breathing difficulties. And she was very sociable. We were always amazed that Gaby had such a fantastic memory for names and faces of people. It is also memorable, that she collected quite a bit of money for a charity. Without doubt, she was able to make many, many friends. Even some Labor politicians and other people well known in public life were her good friends!

So, Gaby had died in 2012. Every day I am reminded of her how wonderfully she managed her life. During the day she was nearly always up and about. But during the last years of her life she had to spend most evenings on her own, that is until her carers would arrive to get her ready for bed. She often may have felt very lonely at this time of the day, for she liked to be with people. But she had her pets: A companion dog and a cat! Also, she was used to spend a lot of time at the computer when she was by herself in the evening.

More and more I contemplate, how much my life seems to resemble Gaby’s life now. Only, of course, Gaby’s life was much more difficult compared to mine. Strangely enough, there seem to be some similarities. Maybe, I should tell myself over and over again, that so far I am not so bad off really. Gaby’s carer, David, used to say to me: “Mama, you should not worry so much!” Dear David, he was at heart a very good bloke, but he had his weaknesses, like smoking and a lot of beer drinking and not looking after his health, not at all.

Here you can read something about David:

10 thoughts on “About Grieving”

Everyone grieves in their own way and their own time…no one way or one time frame is the “correct” way. We must be kind to ourselves taking one day at at time.
And those who love the grieving-ones should stand by them and bring comfort no matter how long it takes.
I honestly feel like the one who has died would truly want their beloved ones to help each other through the grief and move forward in life…finding joy…adapting to their new “normal”. I don’t think anyone who loves their family would want their passing to destroy their family or loved ones lives. So we must find ways to grieve, help each other, and continue to move forward. I still miss ALL of those who have passed on before me, but I’m trying to live a good life to make them proud. 
Those links offer some great truth and help, Uta. Thank you for sharing them.
My continued condolences, love, and prayers to you and all of your family as you continue to miss and grieve Peter.
(((HUGS)))
Reply
auntyuta
 Edit
Thank, for that, dear Carolyn, thank you very much! Hugs, Uta 
Reply
rangewriter
 Edit
I agree with Carolyn, above. Grieving is different for each individual and the stages are not necessarily reached in the order expected and may even jump around and be repetitive in some cases. You and Peter lead such a remarkable life together. I think he would be very proud of how well you have dealt with the cards you were given and how you’ve navigated the loss of your best friend and partner. Your children will eventually reach a stage of quiet acceptance. It is one of the stages of life that we all (if we are lucky) must pass through. (The unlucky ones pass before their parents, which, as you know, is the most difficult and jarring grief of all.)
Reply
auntyuta
 Edit
Yes, Linda, what you say makes quite a lot of sense to me. Great summing up of the situation. Thank you for that, thank you very much!
Today I thought once more a lot about the subject of serving and I looked up quotes by Goethe and Schiller about this subject and others, here:
https://auntyuta199172524.wordpress.com/2021/04/05/what-goethe-said/
Reply
rangewriter
 Edit
Thank you for sharing, Uta!
Debra
 Edit
Grief comes to all of us in some form and at some point in our lives, and we all respond differently. Losing Peter leaves a huge hole in your heart, Uta, and I’m so sorry. These are really good articles. Thank you for sharing them.
Reply
auntyuta
 Edit
I just saw this very interesting blog, Debra, by Peggy Sweeney:
https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/169521928/posts/1345
This is how she starts her blog:
“Adults frequently associate grief with the death of someone loved. However, this is not the only reason we grieve. We confront grief whenever we experience a loss or traumatic event: a divorce, retirement, a debilitating illness or injury, addiction, abuse, the aftermath of a fire, flood, or an earthquake. The list of grief-generating experiences is endless. Healing our grief is a life-altering event and a very personal experience. . .”
Debra, I guess, I have been in ‘retirement’ for many, many years. But never ever have I had to live on my own. When this isn’t life changing, especially with a number of disabilities due to my age, I don’t know what is. I guess, there are always changes, Sometimes there are just too many changes all at once. However, I believe I am still in a better position than people that have no other option than booking into a retirement home. . .
I am determined now to live in my present home for at least another 3 and 1/2 yeas that is until I turn 90!
Reply
auntyuta
 Edit
P.S.: If I die before I am 90, at least I die in my own home the way Peter died . . .
Debra
 Edit
I think it’s entirely “too soon” for you to overthink anything probably! You’re doing well that you can even write about your feelings, Uta. I have known friends who’ve been widowed and can barely move from one room to the next for a very long time. I just know it’s a very big shock, even if anticipated! I am so glad you have a lovely larger family who love and care for you. And I agree with Peggy Sweeney that there are so many ways that we experience loss and then grief. But losing a spouse is an emotional earthquake. Hugs to you, my friend.
auntyuta
 Edit
Oh, Debra, your comment makes such a difference to my day! It gives me the peace I do need at this time. Thank you, dear friend, for caring so much!
HUGS from Australia 

Hypertension

The infection in my lower leg, well all the doctors think that there is no more to worry about. So I hope, they are right, and that I will be able to handle it a bit better from now on.


From the 14th to the 28th of March I had a lovely two weeks with my son in Benalla, Victoria. Before that, that is from the 7th to the 14th of March, Martin and his dog Millie were here with me in Dapto, and on the 13th of March we did attend the wedding of one of my granddaughters. During this one week stay here I first did get this itchy dermatitis on both of my lower legs which may have eventuated from doing a bit of work in the garden!

So, Martin drove me to the doctors for some prescription. Towards the end of my stay in Benalla, one of the sores had flared up into a pretty bad infection. Back in Dapto, I was prescribed some antibiotics as well as several more visits to the medical treatment room. Two weeks after that it was detected, I suffered from ‘hypertension’. Now they are working on it to get my blood pressure down!

How To Conquer Tyranny and Avoid Tragedy: A Lesson on Defeating Systems of Empire

“So is humanity doomed? Can a flourishing and prosperous civilization avoid the seductions of empire?”
I’d like to contemplate this!

Rising Tide Foundation

By Cynthia Chung

This is a transcription of a lecture, which can be found here, given as part of the RTF series “Art, Science and Civilization: The Renaissance Principles Across the Ages.

It is common today to be confronted with the belief that any country, any civilization that gains a certain degree of power, will be destined to become an empire. After all, we are in an American system of empire right now that is presently clashing with competing systems of empire from the East, correct?

Well, this is at least, the thinking that has been driving 75 years of cold war to this present day. That despite us being told that the cold war ended in 1989 with the fall of the Berlin Wall, it is rather evident that this cold war is still ongoing.

So is humanity doomed? Can a flourishing and prosperous civilization avoid…

View original post 14,543 more words

Shall We Allow Poets in the Republic? Part Three

Rising Tide Foundation

By Gerald Therrien

At the end of part 2 of ‘Shall We Allow Poets in the Republic’, we came upon the proposition that poets either must be ‘possessed and insane’ and derive their inspiration from some divine influence – like the oracles and prophecies of the priests and priestesses of the gods, or that poets received their inspiration by ‘enthusiasm’ from the Muse. 

In order to try to find a way to understand this enthusiasm, we’ll dive into Plato’s ‘Phaedrus’ dialogue. [Note: translation by Thomas Taylor, 1804.]

Phaedrus met Socrates, who was to be his partner in ‘corybantic fury’ of discourse (i.e. unrestrained frenzy of emotion), and they began talking about Lysias, ‘the most skilful writer of the present age’, and of his oration on love – that ‘one who does not love ought to be gratified rather than a lover’.

At first, Socrates spoke about the truth contained in…

View original post 2,473 more words

GLADIO: Is 2021’s Fictional Cyberattack Simulation Prepping Us For A Cyber Pandemic?

“Crises seem to conveniently arise when the people in power want change.”

RIELPOLITIK

Source – theorganicprepper.com

  • “…Many readers are aware of a simulation conducted by the World Economic Forum called Event 201 that preceded the COVID pandemic. Event 201 eerily described and seemed to predict the pandemic….The WEF, Russia’s Sberbank, and its cybersecurity subsidiary BIZONE announced in February that a new cyberattack simulation would occur July 9, 2021″

Is 2021’s Fictional Cyberattack Simulation Prepping Us For A Cyber Pandemic?

By Robert Wheeler

Many readers are aware of a simulation conducted by theWorld Economic ForumcalledEvent 201that precededthe COVID pandemic. Event 201 eerily described and seemed to predict the pandemic. (There was alsoa pandemic simulation called Clade Xthat preceded Covid.)

What some readers may not know, however, is that the World Economic Forum conducted a similar simulation,Cyber Polygon 2020.This 2020 eventalsopredicted a global catastrophe.

A new cyberattack simulation, Cyber Polygon, will occur in July…

View original post 814 more words

Disposable face masks pollute oceans with dangerous microplastics

This is beyond belief. How is that possible that they end up in the oceans? Who is responsible for this?

The Most Revolutionary Act

Disposable face masks are being dumped into the oceans, potentially releasing harmful microplastics into the atmosphere and our food.

This month marks the one-year anniversary of San Francisco enforcing the first face mask law in the United States. During the COVID-19 pandemic, almost all states have mandated the use of masks. By October, 93 percent of Americans said they wear a mask or face covering when they leave their home and are unable to socially distance themselves.

“Humanity is going through 129 billion face masks a month, which works out to three million a minute,” according to Big Think.

With large populations of the world using masks regularly as a health precaution against coronavirus, it has had an unintended consequence – pollution.

The Ocean Conservancy released new data detailing how personal protective equipment has polluted beaches and oceans all over the planet. Volunteers who were cleaning beaches all over…

View original post 46 more words

A Simpler Way: Crisis as Opportunity (2016)

“A Simpler Way: Crisis as Opportunity” is a free-to-view, feature-length documentary that follows a community in Australia who have come together to explore and demonstrate a simpler way to live in response to global crises. Throughout the year the group build tiny houses, plant veggie gardens, practice simple living and permaculture principles, and discover the challenges of living in community. This documentary, our very first!, was shot while we were living on the property for the entire year as part of the community. The documentary includes interviews with David Holmgren, Helena Norberg-Hodge, Nicole Foss, Ted Trainer, Graham Turner, and more.