Eleven years ago, in April/May 2012, I was ‘only’ 77. I think I felt then that I was already very old!!
I had bad arthritis in my right leg as well as some inflammation in my right knee. This resulted in difficulty with walking because of huge pain. But on the first of May that year Peter took me on a lovely drive. I did enjoy this outing so very much. I don’t think I experienced a lot of pain that day for Peter made sure that I did not have to walk much.
It was a time when Peter was still very fit. But four years later, in 2016, he had to get some cancer treatment. By mid 2020 the cancer had spread to his bones, and that was then very soon the end of him.
Now I have outlived Peter by more than two years already. It took me a while, learning to live on my own. But I am now resigned to live by myself. I feel, this is still better, than having to go into care. But of course, it would have been so much better, if Peter could have remained reasonably healthy. We had very much enjoyed our carefree retirement life together. And really, usually none of us had too much pain to suffer while we were still together.
But going back eleven years again. Actually, I want to go to something I published eleven years ago! I want to try to collect my thought to look at bits and pieces from this old blog; and I want to write about it, what comes to mind when I look at it today!
The awful pain in my right leg and knee apparently started on my way to church on Sunday, the 29th of April 2012. But I made it to the church, arriving there just in time for a beautiful Mass service with a lot of singing! Here is what I wrote:
“I was very moved by the beautiful singing in the church. Both Fr Francis Tran and the Seminarian, Mr Stephen Varney, were singing Mass. Both have such beautiful voices! The church choir sang very well too. Stephen was given the homily that morning. He pointed out that for some people the Priesthood can offer a fulfilling way of life. They may think that it might be too hard to stick to being a priest. Even though for most people it is right to get married, you may think about it that it is also often not easy to stick to being husband and wife. It all depends on what God wants you to do, doesn’t it?
On Wedesday, the 2nd of May, I say the folowing:
“Monday has come and gone, so has Tuesday. Today is Wednesday and the pain is still there. I can cope with it as long as I don’t do too much! I cancelled the walks with my neighbour, Irene. I didn’t even go to the pool on Monday or to the Thai Yoga class on Tuesday. Peter could have driven me to the pool. But I declined.”
“Peter suggested on Tuesday, the first of May, we could drive to Berry and then further on to Hampden Bridge, I joyfully agreed to this. We had a lovely day out. The weather was perfect for an outing. The good thing was, I didn’t have to walk much. Peter took lots of pictures. I took quite a few pictures too, some of them out of the window from the car.”
Seeing the doctor or the dentist or the optometrist? Apparently, I did not want to do this, for I wrote:
“At the moment I do not want to think about seeing the doctor or the dentist or the optometrist. Within the next couple of months I ought to see all these people. Just now I only want to rest and get better.”
Following are some of the pictures I took on our drive!
From there we drove on to Berry where we had some pies for lunch. We also bought some cake at the Milkwood Bakery. This is a newly opened bakery in Queen Street. They are a branch of the Berry Sourdough Cafe in Prince Alfred Street, which is famous for very good breakfasts.
This picture shows a tree with autumn leaves in a street in Berry
We turned off from Berry taking the Tourist Drive to Hampden Bridge
21 thoughts on “What does God want me to do?”
likeitizEditHello, Aunty Uta. Sad to hear you are in pain. Do you have arthritis? Or is this an old injury? I hope it’s been looked at and you are getting the right treatment for it.Reply
auntyutaEditThanks for your concern, dear Mary-Ann. It’s not an old injury. It’s probably old age, don’t you think?Reply
berlioz1935Edit“What does God wants you to do?”How can an atheist, like me, answer this question? Philosophers, sages and other wise people have thought about this important question for centuries. It is practical the same as asking, “What is the meaning of (my) life?”Let’s assume that your implied assumption is right and there is a God. I think he does not want you to do anything other than to be. His purpose for you falls under the inscrutable. Who knows what God wants you to do? Even bad people have a mission given to them by God. Think of Judas. Without him Jesus could have escaped capture or not? Even Jesus wasn’t sure what was happening when he asked, “Why have you forsaken me?” He of all people should have known that was his purpose.To say your cross is your hurting knee, might be a bit harsh, but it is a reminder that our bodies are subject to decay and sickness; two other aspects of God’s plans for you.And what if we assume there is no God? You have to take responsible action and be happy with what you done. Try to be sure within yourself. Every action is the basis for the next action – cause and effect. Resting in the church was the right thing to do. Seeing a doctor will be the next right thing to do.Reply
The cake was delicious and the bread wholesome.ReplyreflectionsofaprodigalsonEditHi Uta,I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing some pain and I hope that you find some comfort soon.However, it would appear that, in spite of your pain, you still managed to find some enjoyment. Perhaps there is a lesson for us in that ie even in our most difficult moments, we can still find joy in our lives.Get better soon,CarthageReply
WordsFallFromMyEyesEditLOVED LOVED LOVED your pictures, and very much envy you! An excellent blog, & very interesting. I am sorry you appear to be n pain & I hope things even out, work out.Sincerely, Noeleen 9859 0132Reply
The doctor didn’t mention diet. Personally I think I ought to do some changes to my eating habits. Wish me luck with this, Noeleen!
Thank you so much for thinking of me. I keep thinking about you a lot too!Reply
eof737EditSending you healing light and love… the answers will come. Reply
The links to Peter’s Blogs also are of great interest to me!
AuntyUta 
