Mariane’s Diary Nr. 6

Yesterday, Monday, the 14th of November. Marianne had a few thoughts about intimate relationships between men and women of any age. She was thinking back to the postwar years in Germany when she was just a little girl. There were a lot of war widows at the time. Even as a little girl, she noticed, that for a man who was travelling around a lot because of his job. quite often it was very normal to have a loving widow in every town he visited. And every of these widows would welcome this travelling man with open arms, all too happy giving and receiving lots of sexual pleasures! What could be wrong with that? Really, nothing at all. Wasn’t everyone, who felt like this, entitled to giving and receiving some sexual pleasures? Everybody was just out to enjoy themselves for a little bit. Nobody got hurt. It was a very normal thing to happen at the time. And these women, often war widows, did not mind at all, if their man had other sweethearts in different towns, All these relationships would be sort of in the open, that is everybody was honest about it. No secrets!

Marianne, reflecting on it now, came to the conclusion, that surely if a very considerate and caring travelling man had a sexual relationship with several women within one week or one month, of course this was totally acceptable!

However, it seemed to Marianne, probably none of these women would have accepted a second lover for as long as there was still some involvement with the first lover!

This is just the way it is, thought Marianne. Men and women are very different in this respect. Hardly any women would want to have two lovers at the same time. Whereas a lot of men would just want to be free to be sexually involved with several women at the same time, if there was some opportunity fot this, meaning some women were just agreeable to this!! Since their experience might be, that most women just want their partner to be sexually exclusive, that is to have no other sex partner, these men, that end up getting involved with another woman or several othere women, want to keep it secret! And when the secret is discovered. it is said, the man has been cheating.

On the other hand, Marianne is sure, that once a man falls truly in love with someone. he would not want to involve himself all the way with another partner!

This is already Marianne’s Diary Nr. 4!

How can a single woman have an attractive single man as a close friend in a strictly platonic relationship?

Usually it might be rather unlikely that this kind of relationship remains strictly platonic if it is a rather close relationship where they communicate more or less constantly. All of a sudden, Marianne becomes aware, that, even though Jack really likes her as a friend, he is not at all interested in having an intimate relationship with her. He might sometimes say so, but his actions are more, that he likes the attention of other women.

She realises now, that she has to cut herself loose from Jack. There is no other way. She reckons, she may still have a chance of meeting someone else. Anyhow, she does like the idea to have the freedom to be able to perhaps go out on a date. It has been an awful long time since she has been dating anyone in a romantic way. She thinks back, how exciting it was, when she was dating Gunter, her husband, such a long time ago. On their first date they went to see a movie. And it was a great success!

Actually, she thinks back, that she met Gunter by going out with a girlfriend. You never know, this sort of thing, might still work. Going out with one of her woman friends might perhaps be a chance of meeting an attractive man in her age group! Maybe, there’s going to be a New Year’s Eve party at the Club that they could go to. Well, she thinks, whatever will be, will be. Marianne is determined to make the most of the last years of her life. There might not be many years left anyway. She just hopes, that she stays healthy enough for a bit longer. And for Jack she wishes good health too, and Good Luck!

Marianne Kraft (2)

It is true, Marianne and Jack had exchanged off and on quite a few emails to each other during the last twelve months or so. Seeing Jack in person yesterday Marianne found, thay Jack had not changed much at all from a few years ago when Marianne and Gunter had seen Jack and his wife Marie socially quite regularly. Marianne herself found of herself, that she had pobably changed quite a lot. Anyhow, Marianne was very pleased, to have been able to talk to Jack in person after so many years, and after having been receiving so many emails from him over the past twelve months. Jack does not live far away from her. So, she is wondering, does that mean now, that Jack would like to see her more often in future?

She is 81, and he is 78. The women he was dating, or having had affairs with, were usually quite a bit younger than he. However, from his recent emails to Marianne he gave the impression, that he did not seek a new relationship with a younger person. She is wondering, could she believe him? The question is, does he more or less look for a close relationship at all now? And is everything, he had said online in his emails, really true? She did not want to have doubts. But she was not so sure, whether this was right. Shouldn’t she have some doubts?

She wished there was someone, with whom she could talk about Jack. Did other people think it was possible for her to have a close relationship with Jack?

Marianne Kraft

Jack Brentano visits Marianne

Today is the 8th of November. So, Christmas 2022 is coming up soon. For Marianne it is going to be the fourth Christmas without Gunter!

Shortly before Christmas, three years ago, was Gunter’s funeral. Jack came to the funeral with his friend, a woman in her fifties. Jack was happy to have such a friend ten years after his wife had passed away. Jack had had several girl friends over the past ten years, but nothing lasting. Jack was hoping, that the affair with his new friend might become somewhat longer lasting. Jack was relieved that Rose, his friend, had agreed to accompany him to the funeral. Gunter had been Gunter’s longtime business partner. So he could not very well stay away from this Catholic funeral service. Or was it a funeral Mass? He wasn’t sure.

Yes, it turned out, that it was a Mass. And there were some refreshments after Mass. Jack and Rose paid their respects to Marianne and her whole family. This had been the last time, that Jack had seen Marianne in nearly three years! However, after his separation from Rose he had started to write emails to Marianne. So for the last year or so, he had become pretty close to Marianne. He had been thinking for a while, he might pay her a visit! Well, today was the big day. He bought some flowers and a bottle of wine, and went to see her!

My November 2022 Diary

 Edit

I like it, that I did get another very good response to that reblog as well as to
the original page about wanting to write some fiction.

So with two good responses from my dear blogger friends I should really
feel encouraged enough to start writing my novel, or shall I call it my novella?
For I thought to restrict it to maybe 200 pages.

Last week I developed some major tooth problems. Some of it is under control
now. But I’m afraid some more dental treatment is still required.

I already had quite a few challenges in my old age. This is another challenge now, that I could do without. But then I can also look at a lot of good things that have come my way recently and throughout my life!

Yes, I feel I’ve had a very rewarding life, and I like writing about it. That I cannot write much about persons in my life, who are alive, is a bummer, for I like to write about things that are autobiographical. But then, you’ll never know, I might get to like fictional writing even more!

The Australian book to read next: My Father’s Moon by Elizabeth Jolley

For Carrie Tiffany, reading the 1989 novel once wasn’t enough. She wanted to carry its narrator inside her as long as she could

Elizabeth Jolley.
 Elizabeth Jolley received 39 rejections in one year alone. In My Father’s Moon she created a protagonist you’ll want to keep alive forever. Photograph: Fairfax Media Archives/Fairfax Media/Getty Images

It is proof of a fine novel when its characters enter your spirit as you are reading and take up residence there. The experience is akin to falling in love. You are vividly enveloped by thoughts of another. They are alive inside you, perceiving the world with you, breath by breath. It is the most intimate of feelings. Film can’t achieve this, or theatre, or visual art; perhaps music gets closest. It’s only the novel that can show you the grain of another’s soul.

Vera Wright narrates Elizabeth Jolley’s 1989 novel My Father’s Moon.

The streets of suburban Melbourne are silent. I live alone. But here I am with the young nurse Vera in cold, mean London during the second world war, as she clanks around the wards of a training hospital with her ration jars of jam and butter hanging from her belt.

Vera cloaks me as I walk along the railway line at dusk watching the brightly lit carriages slide by on their return from the city – empty, empty, empty, empty. We stand in front of the bare supermarket shelves that have been freshly ransacked by anxious lock-downers. How insubstantial the world feels without its goods.

I read the novel quickly. As soon as I finish it, I begin again. It is told in reverse order in a series of jagged, impressionistic short stories. I think I’m trying to keep Vera alive for as long as possible, but also to enhance her narrative with this circular reading. If the dire events at the beginning of the novel (the result of all of the miss-steps and cruelties that come later) can be recast, perhaps there is a better life for Vera Wright?

I carry Vera around inside me. I want her to be free and to be loved. I want her to be sensually and sexually alive. The borders are closed but I dream of taking her to Queensland and laying her down in a warm green sea, feeding her a pineapple, showing her the whitest and purest of moons. Of course, I want these things for myself too.

The relationship between us isn’t smooth. Vera is meek, naive and loveless. She is also bitter and forlorn. She lies. She is bullied and she bullies others. Happiness must be grasped at and stolen, never shared. Vera is unable to see the world around her outside the narrow punishing hierarchies of the boarding school and the hospital. I love Vera, although at times I would gladly strangle her. She invites her entrapment not just with waywardness, but wilfully.

The young nurse Vera Wright is an aspiring writer. She is engaged in that dual impulse I know so well, to conceal and reveal. Vera’s mother tells her she is too young to be a writer, she has no experience yet. This is from the pen of Elizabeth Jolley who wrote for years without success. In one year alone Jolley received 39 rejections for her writing. She was in her fifties when her work finally found favour.

Read Elizabeth Jolley’s My Father’s Moon. You may want to go on and read the Vera Wright trilogy. You may want to go on and read and re-read Elizabeth Jolley, as I do, and as I will continue to do.

The huge Easter moon, as if within arm’s length, as if it can be reached simply by stretching out both hands to take it and hold it, is low down in the sky, serene and full, lighting the night so that it looks as if everything is snow covered, and the deep shadows lie across pale, moon-whitened lawns. This moon is the same moon that my father will have seen. He always told me when I had to leave for school, every term when I wept when I did not want to leave, he told me that if I looked at the moon, wherever I was, I was seeing the same moon that he was looking at. ‘And because of this,’ he said, ‘you must know that I am not very far away. You must never feel lonely,’ he said. He said the moon would never be extinguished. Sometimes, he said, it was not possible to see the moon, but it was always there. He said he liked to think of it as his.

– Elizabeth Jolley, My Father’s Moon, Penguin, Australia, 1989. p. 26.

Referring to some Observations in the recent Uta Diaries

I started yesterday morning with looking at some of my drafts and I decided it was about time that I should get rid of all the drafts that I did not need anymore. The first draft I looked at I wanted to publish rather than seeing it ending in ‘trash’. I love Di Morrissey’s books and am very impressed that she is able to write a comprehensive well researched novel every year. She wrote already 27 novels. I believe most of these are bestsellers. Here is what I found in Wikipedia:

“Di Morrissey AM is one of the most successful novelists of Australia with 27 best-selling novels and five children’s books published. Wikipedia

Here you can find out more:  http://dimorrissey.com.au/about-di/

 

 

And I referred to this video in yesterday’s diary:

“Jennifer Byrne presents an interview with Bryce Courtenay, Lee Child, Di Morrissey, and Matthew Riley.”

 

I always liked to watch and listen to the Jennifer Byrne interviews. Bryce Courtnenay’s books I used to be very familiar with over many years. I still own some of his books. Wouldn’t I like to read again and again these books: Maybe, maybe one of these days when due to the Coronavirus I am going to have lots of spare time, I am going to read, read, read!

Further on yesterday I published this item about how migrant workers had to clean up university students’ mess. So what I had observed about the life of cleaners during my long life, this is what I really had wanted to write about.

In my following diary posts I mentioned about the help that my family used to be able to afford. Some people were actually honorary helpers, like Tante Mietze who for many years lived with Peter’s family and tirelessly did all sorts of work for the family right into very old age. She was a real jewel and all the family still hold her in high esteem many years after her death.

I guess that most people cannot afford hired help any more these days, is partly because cleaners and all sorts of workers can these days demand higher wages. If for instance people employ migrant workers and try to underpay them, it is said they are being used as ‘slave’ labour.

I always had this opinion when in a family with several children both father and mother have outside well paying jobs, the wife’s salary should in the first place be used to employ some home help. Why else would a woman want to have an outside job if it did not pay enough for some home help? Now, I would very much like my readers’ thoughts on this. Please, do not hesitate to make a comment, when you do not agree with my opinion on this.

Another topic would be how do families cope these days with separation or divorce of parents, and how do wives fare then if they do not have a well paying job.

Prompt Day 10: What was the best book you read in 2019? What did you like about it? #Manifest20

I like to mention here three books I did read one year ago and that made quite an impression on me.  Last year I copied some details about these books without mentioning my own opinion about any of the books. But as an introduction to the first book I wrote:

DI MORRISSEY seems to be my favourite author at the moment. The most recent book of hers that I read is: “The Winter Sea”.

Peter said, I should write something about what I felt about these books.

So, the first thing that came to mind is that in each book there are some main characters that I feel very comfortable with. And of course there are some other characters that I would not feel very comfortable with but even the more ‘bad’ characters do have a few likable features. That means the characters feel quite real to me.

In each of the three books there are some male/female relationships that are great to read about. In each book there are some rather strong female characters. But even these very strong females do like a good man a lot! Despite a number of difficulties all these females end up with simply good men –  at least for a while.

‘The Winter Sea’ novel by Di Morrissey is for the most part set into an environment that I am very familiar with. It deals with a family history that encompasses nearly one hundred years and shows what happens to immigrants to Australia that come from different backgrounds, for instance Italian and Irish.

Greg Iles is a New York Times bestselling author. He wrote BLOOD MEMORY. Cat (Catherine) Ferry is a most interesting character. It shows what may happen to a person that has been abused as a child.

Well, the third book ‘THE GOOD DAUGHTER’ by Karin Slaughter, is a very well written book too. There are actually wo daughters, both of them I see as main characters. To my mind both are ‘good’ daughters, even though they are totally different. Maybe one is more the good daughter of the father, the other one the good daughter of the mother. So which counts for more?

The following three links to my auntielive site show you some interesting details  about the three above mentioned books:

https://auntielive.wordpress.com/2018/12/18/books-i-read-in-november-december-2018/

https://auntielive.wordpress.com/2018/12/18/continued-from-books-i-read/

https://auntielive.wordpress.com/2018/12/18/continued-from-books-i-read-2/