L, our 82 year old neighbour passed away last Friday and today, Thursday, was the Funeral Service. L had been born in Hungary in 1931. He fled Hungary after the uprising in 1956 and arrived in Australia in 1957. Four years later his wife followed him to Australia. They have two sons and four grandchildren. They also have a great number of friends, quite a few of Hungarian descent. Today more than a hundred people were gathered for L’s funeral service.
ORDER OF SERVICE
Prelude Music: Moonlight Serenade – Glen Miller
Welcome by the Celebrant
“Do not stand at my Grave and Weep” a poem read by L’s eldest grand-daughter, who was quite weepy
Memories, told by L’s elder son, some of them were quite humorous
L’s Life in Pictures with Music: The Wind beneath my Wings – Bette Midler
Floral Tributes by the Family Members to say good-bye
THE LORD’S PRAYER, said by the whole congregation
FAREWELL, the coffin disappears behind a curtain
POEM: Miss me but let me go, said by the Celebrant
CLOSING MUSIC: A Hungarian Piece of Music
When the Prelude Music was played, the immediate family of L came along the aisle to take their seats in the front. The wife of L is a dear friend of mine. She was escorted by her two very tall sons as she came in. The Moonlight Serenade sounded so beautiful. Seeing my friend in the midst of her sons, looking very small beside her sons, I felt very teary. I imagined what pain she must feel.
The beauty of the music I think contributed to the feeling of sadness. However, at an occasion like this it is quite all right to feel great sadness. As it said later on in the poem: Miss me but let me go!
Peter asked me later on, whether I would like to have a funeral service at the Catholic Church. I thought about it and came to the conclusion, that a service similar to the one L had would really be perfectly all right for me. I have only one close Catholic friend I can think of, who would come to my funeral. Everybody else who would come is not Catholic. I am the only one in my family who is a Catholic! So what is the point in me having a Catholic Service? It does not make much sense, does it? I have never seen this as clearly as today.
AuntyUta 
I think we need to ask, “Who is the service for?” If it’s for you, as a completion of your life, then have one you feel happy with. If it’s for your friends, to say goodbye and pay their respects, have it done in a way they are comfortable with. Hopefully, the two are not mutually exclusive! Even non-Catholics can enjoy a Catholic service if it’s sincere and reflects your beliefs (but maybe not too much incense?).
Thanks very much for commenting, Catterel.
I reckon the service is in the first place important for the family that is left behind. I agree, non-Catholics could enjoy a Catholic service. Peter for instance has been to quite a few Catholic services of friends of ours. The last one would have been in the middle of last year when David died. He came from a purely Catholic family (four brothers and three sisters). All his siblings came to the funeral Mass. Also a lot of extended family, who are Catholics.
What you say, dear Catherel, of course makes sense to me that I may have a service I can feel happy with as a completion of my life.
There is something else you say that makes me think. You speak about a service that is sincere and reflects my beliefs. (Well, this would include incense, I’m afraid!). But I ask myself now is this really important for me to know that people see my beliefs reflected in the service after I passed away?
I cannot think of anyone in our whole family who is Catholic, or even of anyone belonging to another Christian church. So then, why a church service? That I attend Mass fairly regularly does this really matter to my family after I am dead?