Yes, I definitely feel, that I live on bonus time, not borrowed time, but bonus time!
I do not know of any person in my family, going back a few hundred years, wo did live for as long as I’ve lived already. I am still healthy and strong, even though I have a number of age related handicaps, like very bad vision, hearing problems, breathing problems, problems with arthritis and dizziness and overall balance problems.
Still, I am healthy, and some people seem to think I can live much longer, maybe even reaching the age of 100. I don’t care. for as long as I am allowed to die a natural death. The fact is, that for quite a few years now, I have lived on bonus time!
This reminds me about a dear friend of ours, that my husband talked about often. Lesley came to Australia as a Hungarian migrant. Irene, his bride, lived in Croatia near the Hungarian border. She followed him, and they got married in Australia and had two sons, who are doing well. The couple moved to our complex of ten villas when they were already retired. My husband Peter and I became good friends with them. Meeting Les at the letter-box, Les told Peter one day, that he was living on bonus time. Les was already in his eighties by then, and Peter was a few years younger. Three days later Les was dead. He had a stroke and could not be saved.
I am still good friends with Irene. But sadly Peter died in December of 2020 of some very severe, terminal health problems . . . .
“Apparently the survival rates of spouses on their own after the death of one a partner are sad reading. Over 66% also pass away within 6 months as well. Loneliness is the main reason.”
I often contemplate now, how I seem to face a dilemma that is not unlike that of the one that dear Gaby had to face after David became too sick to do any caring for her. Well, officially, he had been just her carer, not her partner. They had separate bedrooms of course. As a paid for carer he had to be in the house with her at nightime, in case Gaby needed him in an emergency. When David did take a few day’s leave to travel somewhere to have a break, Peter and I, as well as our young daughter Caroline, would stay with Gaby for a few days. We always had a good time with Gaby. It was like a little holiday. But then of course we were always happy, when we could travel home again.
So, there came a time, when David could not do anything for Gaby anymore. So, Gaby had to look for somebody who could replace him. She tried and tried to find somebody. She never gave up. How can a 54 year old very disabled person find a trustworthy live-in partner? Difficult, very, very difficult. This is all I can say. Now, did Gaby want to end up in institutional care? No, never! So, to be honest, isn’t it somehow a blessing that Gaby did die peacefully in her own home just a few weeks before her 55th birthday? – Originally her life expectancy had been 30 years! I think, one can say, she did do extremely well with her life.
So, to compare the last stages of Gaby’s life with my last stages. Aren’t we in a similar boat? Nobody, absolutely nobody, is inclined to share some of his life with me. There is not even one person, who would be willing to share just an evening with me! The only exception is my son Martin, who might spend about a week with me, that is he may visit for about a week maybe three times a year! Well, of course these are very beautiful special weeks for me. But how can these few weeks make me want to live forever when for the rest of the year I have the feeling to go on living is not worthwhile anymore, because, really, there is nobody living close by, who would be able to spend a few hours with me on a more or less regular basis. Yes, one can have hope, hope, hope. The fact is, with rapidly advancing years, there may come a time, when hope just is not enough anymore, and one is only too willing to welcome eternal rest! 🙂
I can’t keep up with the younger people anymore. All my family are much younger than me. A more elderly person, with not too many other attachments, might understand much better, what sort of company I do need, and hopefully could make valuable time for me. I feel, it is really only natural, if my time is running out now. I am only too willing to face up to it. I think, for the rest of my days, I’ll just concentrate more and more on reading, talking, and writing. I am determined to enjoy live as much as possible for as long as I live, but that does not mean, that I want to live much longer, or for ever and ever. When the time is up, it is up.
“Holy Mary, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.”
4. What goals did you accomplish in 2019 that you’re proud of? How will your achievement continue to benefit you or others in the future?
I am elderly, this is why I walk with the help of a walking stick. In the morning, after a bit of stretching, I manage quite regularly to go out for a little walk. Peter, my husband, does the same. He can still walk twice as fast. So he walks ahead. He walksa bit further than I do. I usally walk to a section of some trees that I love. Near these trees I often wait for Peter and he meets me then on his return from his walk. We talk for a few moments. Then he walks on along the footpath back home, while I walk back home along a grassy area. I love to walk along there in the early morning sun…
It is all so quickly over. It seemed like yesterday watching mum soaking the split peas over the (single) granite sink back in the forties. Yet, thinking of the timespan between dinosaur and IPad, a couple of mere Nano- seconds later in our universe’s evolution, it is almost over. Well, give another ten years, or more, or less.
I was hardly over my Vitrectomy getting used to endless eye drops when I reached a new stage in my own evolution. I fell over. This is a new stage I seem to have arrived at.
One of the things in growing more mature is that sleep will become more evasive. I used the word ‘more mature’ for others and not in my case. I have reversed in most of my tepid evolutionary efforts and am surprised I can still walk the talk.
Oct 14, 2019 NEW YORKSex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer shares her best sex advice in this interview with Scandinavian talk show Skavlan. This episode was filmed in New York City in 2019.
RELATEDWhen you love someone, you’ll do anything You’ll do all the crazy things that you can’t explain You’ll shoot the moon, put out the sun When you love someone You’ll deny the truth, believe a lie There’ll be times that you’ll believe, that you could really fly But your lonely nights have just begun When you love someone When you love someone, you’ll feel it deep inside And nothing else could ever change your mind When you want someone, when you need someone When you love someone When you love someone, you’ll sacrifice You’ll give it everything you got, and you won’t think twice Yeah, you’ll risk it all no matter what may come When you love someone Yeah, you’ll shoot the moon, put out the sun When you love someone
Share933 views Aug 22, 2022Life in Outback Queensland means a life of freedom by the river and red dust…and the kids from Boulia State School love their life. After 6 years it was so good to head back out to Boulia to record and film the new music video with this new generation of students. These young Outback superstars put on a show with singing, dancing, motorbikes, bulls and big smiles at the river…enjoy ‘At School in Boulia’.
22,544 views May 24, 2017’Two Worlds’, is the first Music Video in the ‘Identity Matters’ series produced with Indigenous students from Catholic Education across Queensland. The series reflects the student’s culture and what it means to them being an Indigenous Australian. ‘Two Worlds’ was created in the Toowoomba Diocese with student’s from St Saviours, St Ursula’s, St Josephs, YCLC and St Thomas More’s.
The catastrophe from Cyclone Gabrielle in Hawkes Bay and the Bay of Plenty seems to be beyond anything one could imagine. For one, The devastation has all but destroyed from what we hear 50% or more of Hawkes Bay’s horticulture. They are not telling us any of that in the media. You can expect food shortages that may last years
GISBORNE & HAWKES BAY CRIPPLED
We are getting reports MSM are ignoring the worst stories.
“Dead animals are building up and rotting & Napier residents have been without power, hot water, internet & phone signal since Mon night/Tues morning.”
“A lot of people have lost their houses, everything.”
“We were totally cut off from Napier in Hastings with many people being turned away from the only crossing available even though they were essential.”
“Looting, shooting, stabbing, killing, stealing, and hostage…
AuntyUta 