In Memory of a Funeral Mass, January 2013

RIMG0001RIMG0003

I wrote this on the 16th of January 2013:

This is about an elderly couple, both born in 1933, just a few months older than Peter is and I am. We’ve known them for ages. When we moved, we lost touch with them. Then we found out they had moved too. It turned out they lived not far from where we lived. What a surprise this was! They had moved into a very beautiful new home in a village for the elderly. From then on we started seeing each other about once a month for coffee and cake and a few games of Rummy. They always enjoyed playing this game with us. We had some good times together. Both of them suffered some ill-health; we thought the husband more so than the wife. We couldn’t see them for quite some time because the husband apparently was in a bad way, so the wife said on the phone not to come and visit. I ask myself now, should we perhaps have made an effort to see them anyway? Instead, I always waited for them to tell us when we could see them again. I wrote them a Christmas card. They knew that we had gone overseas for a while and that one of our daughters had died shortly before we left. So I wrote in the card a bit about our overseas trip and that we were now back home again. When we didn’t hear from them, I should have made a phone-call finding out how they were. But I didn’t ring. Why do I tend to put off phone-calls like this?

Then, yesterday, we got a phone-call from one of their sons. “Mum died last Friday,” he said. I thought I hadn’t heard right. “Did you say your Mum died?” I asked. He confirmed it and explained the funeral service would be on Friday at 11 o’clock at the Catholic Church in Dapto with the funeral procession going to the Memorial Park in Dapto after the service. And he said all the details were in the Illawarra Mercury if we wanted to have a look. “How’s your Dad?” I asked. His response was that he’s very shocked. But the family is with him. They are of Dutch origin and have a large family in Australia and overseas.

On the 21st of January 2013 I wrote the following in response to a comment from Noeleen:

Thanks, Noeleen, for commenting. We went to the funeral on Friday. This was am extremely hot day, 45 Degrees in the early afternoon! Still, a lot of people had come to the funeral. A lady, who used to be their neighbour and who’s well into her eighties now, had come too. She used to be a good friend of ours too. But we hadn’t seen her in more than twenty years! She talked to us after she had talked to the grieving husband. It was as though we had only seen her yesterday. Then we talked to the husband for a bit too. One of their sons, who is our son’s age, came over to us for a little bit. He explained that his mum had been left for the past three years with one rather sick lung. There’s a big name for this sickness which I can’t remember. This was before the church service, which was a Catholic Mass. One section of the church was packed full.
In the afternoon of that Friday Peter and I went to Wollongong for a scheduled Body Cooperative meeting. Nearly all the home owner residents turned up for the meeting despite the heat. Since Saturday the temperature is back in the twenties.
Peter and I had a very quiet weekend. From next Thursday on we’re going to be very busy again. Peter’s older sister, who lives in Austria, is back in hospital again. It looks like she’s not going to make it much longer. I think the family is prepared for this.

Peter made the following comment to this:

It looks we had a bad trot with funerals lately. But at our age we have to expect that. The previous generation is gone and now it is us, our friends and so on.

My sister is in a bad shape, but she is still smiling and she thinks the medical profession is crazy to want to prolong her life. In fact they have with great skill since the mid-seventies. But now, she has enough.

I said to this that Peter’s sister is a courageous woman. Now, one year later, she is still struggling on and living at home. From time to time she has to stay in hospital for some treatment. In the meantime her husband has had a heart attack. He recovered and claims that he isn’t very sick, still being able to do everything as before. She turns 82 this year and he is 78. She has been fighting cancer since she was in her forties.

A Feast Day: The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Sunday 29th December 2013

A Living Community

“Making Connections. Make special times for family this week. Contemplate the richness of family life.”

I read this in the church bulletin yesterday after having gone to the early Mass.

In the second reading of the day, what does St Paul say in his letter to the Colossians?

Here a few exammples:

Wives, give way to your husbands . . . .
Husbands, love your wives and treat them with gentleness.
Children, be obedient to your parents always . . . .
Parents, never drive your children to resentment or you will make them feel frustrated.

OUR DAY WITH SYLVIA AND MONIKA

Our friend Sylvia had agreed to go with us to a picnic by the sea .  We picked her up at 11 am. Our trip went southwards towards Shellharbour. The place we had in mind for our picnic seemed to be full of cars even though it turned out to be a day with very strong wind.

IMG_0095

We decided to travel on a bit further south. Soon we found a spot where parking was still available. We were even able to occupy a beautiful picnic table. Sitting down and unpacking all our picnic supplies we came to realise why this table had not been taken yet by anyone. The reason was quite simply that the wind at this spot very close by the sea had become extraordinarily strong.

Somehow we managed to cope with the wind, enjoying our picnic lunch as well as possible. As soon as lunch was finished we packed everything back into the back of the car and drove back to where we could buy some delicious ice-cream wafers as a desert. I did not want my ice-cream to melt too fast in the brilliant sunshine. This is why I sought some shade near a palm tree plant. When I had only a bit of wafer left, Peter thought of taking this picture of me:

IMG_0094

I took a picture of Sylvia.
I took a picture of Sylvia.

Our daughter Monika had invited us for coffee and cake at her place, She was expecting us at 3 pm. That meant we had a bit of time left to go somewhere else away from the gusty wind by the sea. Blackbutt Forest was not far away. This place turned out to be the right spot for us for a lovely walk.

IMG_0196

IMG_0197

IMG_0201

IMG_0198

IMG_0199

IMG_0200

RIMG1293

RIMG1292

RIMG1294

We arrived at Monika’s place right on time at three o’clock. Monika and two of her daughters greeted us. Monika and Sylvia were happy to see each other after a long time of not having been able to see each other. Sylvia had brought a lovely home baked cake along. Monika’s daughter Krystal and Monika also had baked a cake. Soon we were served cake and plunger coffee.

RIMG1295

RIMG1296

We have known Sylvia since she was about two and Monika wasn’t even one year old yet. Now they are both in their fifties! We had a good day with Sylvia and Monika and her family. We spent about three hours at Monika’s, having a lot to talk about. Mark joined the conversation too a bit later.

To drive Sylvia back to Wollongong along the freeway didn’t take long. I think just before seven Peter and I were back home in Dapto. We were pretty tired by then but happy to have had a very enjoyable day.

 

Diary of Christmas 2013

On the morning of Christmas Eve we went first for a swim at Port Kembla Pool. Then we stopped at a park near the Lake. Caroline tries to decipher what it says on this stone.
On the morning of Christmas Eve we went first for a swim at Port Kembla Pool. After our swim we went to a park near the Lake Illawarra. Caroline  tries to decipher what it says on this stone.

RIMG1200

There are two islands in this photo.
There are two islands in this photo.
Here it says what these two islands are called.
Here it says what these two islands are called.

The fourth Sunday of Advent this year was on the 22nd of December. As I mentioned before, Martin and S were with us on that day as well as on the 21st of December, our Wedding Anniversary. On Monday, the 23rd, Martin and Peter took S to the airport in Sydney in our rental car because S had booked a return flight to Melbourne for that day.

Then it was Caroline’s and Matthew’s turn to be picked up in Waverly, an Eastern Sydney suburb of Sydney, where they live.
Soon Martin and Peter arrived with Caroline and Matthew at our place in Dapto where we spent the next few days together. The busiest day for us was of course the 24th. A lot of preparations were made for Christmas Eve. We were in the end fifteen people (including little Lucas, who was asleep on his mum’s lap by the time a group picture was made).

Here now is a picture of all fifteen of us.

RIMG1271

This is one of the pictures that Caroline took. So she is not in this one.

Monika’s Birthday

Today, on the 5th December, is Monika’s birthday. She invited us for afternoon coffee and cake. Monika’s daughter Krystal baked a beautiful chocolate cake which Monika filled with lovely jam and fresh cream and decorated the top with grated chocolate and cherries. It turned out to be the most delicious Black Forest Cake! RIMG0836

Ebony arrives with Lucas
Ebony arrives with Lucas

RIMG0825 RIMG0828

Lucas with his Grandma Monika
Lucas with his Grandma Monika
Tiana  as well as Krystal and Lucas
Tiana as well as Krystal and Lucas

RIMG0832

Lucas with his Mum
Lucas with his Mum

RIMG0834

We're getting ready to have Coffee and Cake
We’re getting ready to have Coffee and Cake

RIMG0839 RIMG0840

December 1st. 2013, first of Advent and Start of Summer in Australia

On Sunday, 1st December,  our Family met at this Club.
On Sunday, 1st December, our Family met at this Club.

RIMG0764

RIMG0748

RIMG0735

RIMG0737

RIMG0746

RIMG0766

RIMG0767

Here comes the food:

RIMG0768

RIMG0777

RIMG0778

RIMG0780

RIMG0760

Ebony showed Lucas the display about an Austrian village at Christmas time. There was a moving train and a moving ski-lift. I took the pictures. I’m sorry that the quality of my pictures isn’t very good. But the display looked beautiful and Lucas looked at it for quite a while. This display was just part of the Christmas decorations in that German/Austrian Club where we had lunch.

We took some pictures with the whole family outside the club as we were leaving to go to the car-park.

RIMG0784

RIMG0781

RIMG0759

RIMG0758

RIMG0757

RIMG0756

RIMG0755

RIMG0754

Santa’s Mail Box, seen 45 Days before Christmas

RIMG0570

I wonder what sort of mail Santa would receive. Walking for a bit through a major shopping centre today we became quickly aware that business for Christmas has already started. Festive decorations everywhere and the specialty shops exhibiting the most beautiful things for your home to celebrate the Christmas season.

For afternoon coffee we went to see Monika and Mark. Monika was in the process of finishing a lovely large fruit tart.

RIMG0585 - Copy

RIMG0579

Tash and Roxy are also happy to have their picture taken in the kitchen
Tash and Roxy are also happy to have their picture taken in the kitchen
Lucas with his Dad and Great-Granddad
Lucas with his Dad and Great-Granddad
And here are four generations sitting together
And here are four generations sitting together
Lucas gives Peter an olive to eat
Lucas gives Peter an olive to eat
And he spies some crackers that he can eat himself
And he spies some crackers that he can eat himself
Time to eat the Torte
Time to eat the Torte

RIMG0588 - Copy

Family Gatherings

Island Traveler says: “Being with family and friends always brings sunshine and joy. I miss spending Sundays with my sisters and parents, tons of nephews and nieces. ”

 

In some communities or cultures families meet regularly once a week or so. In Australia large Italian or Greek families are known for having these weekly family gatherings. They are mostly first or second generation ‘New Australians’ as far as I know. For following generations it may already be a bit different.

 

As far as I can see families overall do keep some contact if this is at all possible and usually enjoy these family gatherings. However modern life and living not in the same area  may interfere, so that families cannot see each other as often as they would like.

If families stay close together living in the same area, this is usually a cultural thing. Some people who grew up in a close knit community do very much enjoy to be part of it. If circumstances necessitate to leave this close knit community they may experience a sense of loss. Other people who grew up not belonging to a certain community, later on maybe do not strive so much to belong to one.

I think my mother never wanted to belong to an extended family. My father was the opposite. To him keeping close contact with all his siblings was always important. As far as I can remember my mother resented this. She did not want to be involved with the extended family. It shows that people have different priorities. These different priorities can lead to marital frictions. What do you think?

 

 

 

Diary, 2nd November 2013

Tiergarten. Berlin, Beginning of Nov. 2012
Tiergarten. Berlin,
Beginning of Nov. 2012

One year ago we were visiting Berlin. For two months we stayed in one of the high-rise apartment buildings in Hansa Viertel, right in the centre of Berlin with the Tiergarten at our doorstep. We would usually go for an early morning walk in this beautiful Tiergarten. The above picture we probably took around the 2nd of November when our stay in Berlin was nearing its end.

In Berlin,  the first and second of November would not have been any special days for us. Unless you were Catholic, you would not think of All Saints and All Souls. In some parts of Germany the 31st of October is a holiday to celebrate Reformation Day. But in Berlin even the 31st of October is not a holiday.

Gaby, our daughter passed away last year. When we light a candle, we remember her. We also remember a great number of other departed. Nearly everyone who has been older than we are, has passed away by now. After all,  both Peter and I are in our late seventies by now. There are not all that many people around who are older than we are. We always think we might be the next ones to leave!

Do we have special needs in an emergency? This question came up recently when large areas of New South Wales experienced very hot conditions and fast spreading fires. Peter copied for us from the internet a plan for an emergency during a HEATWAVE. It said: “ABC Emergency delivers official warnings and alerts and publishes emergency coverage sourced form ABC Local Radio and ABC News.”

Here is a list of some of the things we should have prepared in our SURVIVAL KIT:

BATTERY-OPERATED RADIO (WITH SPARE BATTERIES)
Torch (with spare batteries)
Strong shoes, gumboots, leather gloves and overalls
First aid kit and medications we need
A change of clothes, toiletry and sanitary supplies
Water in sealed containers – ten litres per person (for three days)
Three days supply of canned food (plus can opener and utensils)
Pillows and blankets (woollen and thermal)
Mobile phone and charger
Strong plastic bags (for clothing, valuables, documents, and photos)
Spare car and house keys

Several Emergency Services are mentioned that can be of help.

Here is what we should do before a HEATWAVE:

Stay hydrated – it’s recommended to drink two to three litres of water and to avoid alcohol and caffeine
Dress light

Check on family and friends – twice a day
Avoid exposure to the sun
Get your home ready – draw curtains, blinds, awnings at the start of the day to keep the sun out
Seek air-conditioning in a shopping centre, library or other public place. (We do not have air-conditioning)
Fans can also provide relief (We do have fans.)

During a HEATWAVE we should phone for assistance immediately if we show any symptoms of heat stress including extremely heavy sweating, headache and vomiting, confusion, swollen tongue

After a Heatwave we should be careful of falling tree limbs – they can be a hazard during periods of extended high temperatures.