Some Reflections

I am very interested in learning to understand how people relate or not relate to each other. With some people there is immediate rapport or so it seems. With others misunderstandings pile up in no time. Trying to resolve some misunderstandings can take a long, long time: Maybe years! And maybe some misunderstandings can never be resolved. It is like living on different planets.

Do some relationships become stressed because of a confusion in the pecking order? Is a pecking order always essential in every life situation? Do childhood experiences play a very important part in a person’s life?

I wished I had it in me to write a novel, creating characters that express some unexplainable things inside me that I cannot express any other way. Sometimes talking to an open minded person can help a lot. Finding a talking partner like this whenever needed is probably not possible. People who can resort to prayer are very lucky in this regard. Having a conviction that God always listens and understands our problems, is enormously consoling. God may understand, no doubt about it. But can we talk about everything that is a puzzle to us? Maybe this puzzle becomes less of a puzzle by writing about it in a novel?

6 thoughts on “Some Reflections

  1. It seems the way we relate to others is personality dependent. While there have been numerous novels written concerning relationships, there also has been extensive research documented in numerous scientific papers. Personally, basically being an introvert, I accept someone as a friend only after knowing them for quite some time. Unfortunately, once I consider someone to be a friend, I tend to hold on to them and feel hurt when they move on and contact is lost. I tend to forgive quickly and support or provide assistance whenever requested even if personally inconvenient. While admittedly leaving myself somewhat vulnerable may not be what is recommended, I accept that at my age there is little I can do to prevent it.

    Lew Bornmann

    1. Thank you so much, dear Lew! I very much value your comment.
      You mention that numerous novels have been written concerning relationships. To me, this is a very interesting subject. I imagine all good writers have been good judges of character. I have always thought a lot about different relationships, and how whether you are more an introvert or an extrovert determines how you react to people. In the past I also found that social standing in society plays a part in relationships. The social standing maybe does not play a great part any more in old age. But then of course the very rich would not end up in a nursing home which accommodates the ‘common’ people!
      Of course we feel sad when contact is lost with someone we felt close to.
      Losing contact can happen quite often over a lifetime. Often people move on, develop different interests. Some people, whom I regarded as friends, maybe cannot tolerate my views on life being different to their views? So then it might be better for all concerned to keep no contact or restrict it to a minimum – – – ?

  2. Most contemporary research shows the most important determinant of an adult’s physical and emotional well-being is their mother’s income level at the time of birth. This means good nutrition and a stress free pregnancy is essential to optimal functioning in adulthood. Unless a child fails to bond or attach with the mother or is physically or sexually traumatized, early childhood experiences seem to have little effect on a person’s level of functioning as an adult.

    1. This is of course all true, Stuart. I believe most children in our society still grow up to become well functioning adults. Some babies do miss out on early bonding when for instance the mother turns sick and cannot look after the child herself and when there is not a substitute mother available. Especially in poorer families the nuclear family may not always be beneficial for a child.
      What about drug addiction in our society? What can be done about this?

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