Why would a married woman with children want to have a full-time outside job if it did not pay enough for some home help?


In my diary post one week ago I wrote the following:

“I always had this opinion when in a family with several children both father and mother have outside well paying jobs, the wife’s salary should in the first place be used to employ some home help. Why else would a woman want to have an outside job if it did not pay enough for some home help? Now, I would very much like my readers’ thoughts on this. Please, do not hesitate to make a comment, when you do not agree with my opinion on this.”

Now, is there anyone, please, who would like to comment on it?

Really, what are your ideas about women’s work?

I would love to hear from you!


7 thoughts on “Why would a married woman with children want to have a full-time outside job if it did not pay enough for some home help?

  1. Dear Uta, I thoroughly agree with you. If a couple decide to have children, surely they want to be involved in the child care? I know you can go crazy if you are stuck at home with only little kids, and I understand that many women want to continue with their career – I am one of them – but what’s the point if it means you can’t keep up at home? My arguments for employing a cleaning lady were that (a) I earned more in an hour than I paid her (b) she enjoyed cleaning and was happy being paid for doing something she liked (c) she did a much better job than I ever could. She took a pride in her work, for which I greatly respected her. My granddaughter has 4 children and works part-time – she says she needs it for her sanity! But the kids are well looked after.

    1. Cat, thank you so much for your reply. I think there must be couples with children where both husband and wife work full- time and rather than paying for some home help, they try to share in doing all the hoursework and in looking after the children. I wonder, whether there are examples where this sort of arrangement can work at all times? When the couple absolutely do not want to pay for some home help or find it hard to get suitable home help, they might indeed be better off to consider part-time work for one of the partners. The question is, is suitable part-time work always available?
      Of course it is a welcome relief, when suitable help by family members can be counted on. However in our modern society family members often do not live close enough to be called upon at short notice. Also a lot of families may not have any extended family members anyway.

  2. My life experience is admittedly slightly different from that of the average person. I have an advanced degree and almost everyone I know – both men and women – also is degreed. All are well paid but none employ home help. I am also somewhat inclined to even question why home help would ever be needed other than in the case of infirmity.

    Most wives and husbands I know share household responsibilities. No, not always totally equitably but the intent is normally there. For us, Barb is an excellent cook and has always enjoyed cooking while I willingly chop and wash but much prefer appreciating the culmination of her meal preparation efforts. My hands fit a vacuum machine handle as well as hers but perhaps being a somewhat typical male, she is the one who spots dust on floors or furniture.

    Admittedly, it was not always this way. My parents were fairly traditional for the time – to a point. My mom had been a registered nurse (as was my aunt who lived with us for much of time prior to the start of World War II) but stopped working when I was born. My dad was in the New Jersey State Police and normally only home every other night. With the outbreak of war, my mom chose to return to work as I was by then in school. While not in total agreement, my dad accepted her decision with the caveat that it was only for the duration of the war. The war ended but she never again assumed the role of being only a housewife.

    Being single for a number of years when younger, I appreciated everything being clean and orderly. The responsibility was obviously mine and being accustomed to it, have ever since shared all home activities.

    I disagree with the basic premise that a woman’s primary role in life is as a mother and homemaker. Everyone should have the option of making that determination and I know several men who assumed that responsibility. I also have known many women, seemingly a predominant majority, who found fulfillment in their chosen profession.

    Many people, especially in entertainment or the arts, when initially starting out must struggle to achieve recognition – to make a name for themselves. They face difficulty even if exceptionally talented. Regardless of how hard they work, it always is difficult to make ends meet; even more so with a family. Home help is not a viable option.

    This has not actually answering your basic question of why a woman would “want to have an outside job if it did not pay enough for some home help”. Perhaps the most logical answer is because that is what she prefers.

  3. Thanks for stopping by. dear Carolyn! 🙂 Thank you very much!
    And thank you for the HUGS!
    Here in Australia we are in the midst of winter now, and Peter and I try our best to keep warm and away from the Coronavirus. 🙂
    How does this virus and all the protests effect you?
    I am glad that Peter and I can still hug each other. But I miss not being able to hug anyone else!
    Your HUGS are always welcome! 🙂
    And we do like to give you some HUGS too! 🙂
    Lots of love,
    Uta and Peter 🙂

    1. We are doing well. Just trying to adapt to the new-normal with COVID19…and deal with all the changes emotionally. Most days are good. Some days are difficult emotionally.
      Thank you for the love and (((HUGS)))!
      Stay safe! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s