And those who love the grieving-ones should stand by them and bring comfort no matter how long it takes.
I honestly feel like the one who has died would truly want their beloved ones to help each other through the grief and move forward in life…finding joy…adapting to their new “normal”. I don’t think anyone who loves their family would want their passing to destroy their family or loved ones lives. So we must find ways to grieve, help each other, and continue to move forward. I still miss ALL of those who have passed on before me, but I’m trying to live a good life to make them proud.
Those links offer some great truth and help, Uta. Thank you for sharing them.
My continued condolences, love, and prayers to you and all of your family as you continue to miss and grieve Peter.
(((HUGS)))
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auntyutaEdit
Thank, for that, dear Carolyn, thank you very much! Hugs, Uta
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rangewriterEdit
I agree with Carolyn, above. Grieving is different for each individual and the stages are not necessarily reached in the order expected and may even jump around and be repetitive in some cases. You and Peter lead such a remarkable life together. I think he would be very proud of how well you have dealt with the cards you were given and how you’ve navigated the loss of your best friend and partner. Your children will eventually reach a stage of quiet acceptance. It is one of the stages of life that we all (if we are lucky) must pass through. (The unlucky ones pass before their parents, which, as you know, is the most difficult and jarring grief of all.)
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auntyutaEdit
Yes, Linda, what you say makes quite a lot of sense to me. Great summing up of the situation. Thank you for that, thank you very much!
Today I thought once more a lot about the subject of serving and I looked up quotes by Goethe and Schiller about this subject and others, here:
https://auntyuta199172524.wordpress.com/2021/04/05/what-goethe-said/
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rangewriterEdit
Thank you for sharing, Uta!
DebraEdit
Grief comes to all of us in some form and at some point in our lives, and we all respond differently. Losing Peter leaves a huge hole in your heart, Uta, and I’m so sorry. These are really good articles. Thank you for sharing them.
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auntyutaEdit
I just saw this very interesting blog, Debra, by Peggy Sweeney:
https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/169521928/posts/1345
This is how she starts her blog:
“Adults frequently associate grief with the death of someone loved. However, this is not the only reason we grieve. We confront grief whenever we experience a loss or traumatic event: a divorce, retirement, a debilitating illness or injury, addiction, abuse, the aftermath of a fire, flood, or an earthquake. The list of grief-generating experiences is endless. Healing our grief is a life-altering event and a very personal experience. . .”
Debra, I guess, I have been in ‘retirement’ for many, many years. But never ever have I had to live on my own. When this isn’t life changing, especially with a number of disabilities due to my age, I don’t know what is. I guess, there are always changes, Sometimes there are just too many changes all at once. However, I believe I am still in a better position than people that have no other option than booking into a retirement home. . .
I am determined now to live in my present home for at least another 3 and 1/2 yeas that is until I turn 90!
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auntyutaEdit
P.S.: If I die before I am 90, at least I die in my own home the way Peter died . . .
DebraEdit
I think it’s entirely “too soon” for you to overthink anything probably! You’re doing well that you can even write about your feelings, Uta. I have known friends who’ve been widowed and can barely move from one room to the next for a very long time. I just know it’s a very big shock, even if anticipated! I am so glad you have a lovely larger family who love and care for you. And I agree with Peggy Sweeney that there are so many ways that we experience loss and then grief. But losing a spouse is an emotional earthquake. Hugs to you, my friend.
auntyutaEdit
Oh, Debra, your comment makes such a difference to my day! It gives me the peace I do need at this time. Thank you, dear friend, for caring so much!
HUGS from Australia
AuntyUta 