August 2021 Diary

Friday, the 6th of August 2021.

So, while I was cooking my brunch today, I was mainly thinking about the future. I was contemplating what might be possible for me to undertake as far as travelling within Australia is concerned. Of course, as soon as possible I would like to visit my son again, who lives in Victoria. It would be nice if I could go to Benalla in Victoria sometime next month. My birthday is coming up towards the end of next month. To be honest, it does not look like travelling like this will be possible for me some time soon. Well, when then? Maybe towards the end of December? This is just a maybe. However, there is a little bit of hope. When I am in a hopeful mood, I imagine I could catch a train to Benalla. Now wouldn’t that be nice? I could catch the train in the Highlands at Moss Vale. Before catching the train, I might be able to spend a couple of nights in the Highlands. Maybe book a hotel somewhere and meet Gerard! Maybe I could join Gerard for his coffee mornings in Bowral. I would also like to go for a walk in the Lake Alexandra Reserve in Mittagong! https://auntyuta.com/2021/07/31/lake-alexandra-reserve/

If I can manage to take my rollator with me, a few slow moving, contemplative walks are really something to be looking forward for. Besides, if I do travel to Benalla and stay there with Martin for one or two weeks, I definitely need to have my rollator with me again. Last time I did stay with Martin for two weeks, was in March this year. I was fortunate then to have my rollator with me. And I was able to make good use of it, even though I did have an infection in my legs at the time.

Gerard mentioned this Lake Reserve in a few of his blogs, for instance here: https://oosterman.wordpress.com/2021/07/30/love-loss-lockdowns-and-a-possible-buddy/

Yes, if at all possible, I would like to spend some time in the Highlands! Maybe I could choose a time for my trip when daughter Caroline and son-in-law Matthew have a little holiday again. Recently both of them had some leave. But because of the lockdowns they could not travel anywhere. However, Caroline told me, they both felt they needed some time off. And being able to spend this time together in their beautiful home was the next best thing to doing some travelling.

So, I was thinking, whenever they can travel again and also have some time off, they might want to spend some time at my place in Dapto. I think they would very much like to see all the alterations to my place, especially the beautiful deck at the back of my house! I think the last time they were able to come to my place was on the 16th of May this year celebrating Peter’s birthday in memory of him.

LONELINESS!

I needed a break from writing. But I am back now! There is so much more to write! Why did I put ‘LONELINESS’ as a heading for my next section? Well, I could not help it. I feel, it is totally unnatural to be living totally on your own. Really, there are still so many things I could share with someone! Usually, I do not go much into matters of a believe in God. But I think the best way to put it when I think of the end of my life, is actually to say, when God calls me, I do not want to delay. But what I want to do and what I have not quite achieved yet, is, that I want to make the best use of the most likely very little time that may still be given to me. To make the best use of time? What is this. I feel, for a number of things, that I would like to be doing, this is really my last chance now. So, should I allow myself to feel angry about it, that there are quite a few things, that I meant to be doing, and that I still haven’t done yet? No, no, no. I have to learn not to be angry with myself. As a matter of fact, when I do make an effort to ‘love’ myself, I find it is easy for me to love people in general and to love life!

. . . . .

Today I haven’t done the dishes yet, even though I had a big, very healthy meal. So what? I can do the dishes later. I think, that should be alright. Today is Friday. In normal times I would this afternoon be playing Scrabble and Rummycub with my friends. But right now the law in the vicinity of Sydney is, that we have to stay in isolation. Actually, I totally agree with this law, since I want to do everything possible not to catch the virus. So, I am not going out visiting friends, and nobody is coming to visit me. If I’d expect my friends to visit me this afternoon, I’d have to do the dishes quick smart before everyone arrives, right? But neither my friends nor the queen are coming to visit today! This is why I decided to forgive myself for not doing the dishes straight away. To be honest, I am looking forward to doing the dishes later on; for I actually like doing the dishes! It gives me satisfaction to see everything being nice clean again. And while I do the dishes, I can let my thoughts go wandering . . . .

Recently, I have been thinking again and again, why one of Peter’s grandfathers and also one of my grandfathers had to die young when they still had children who had not quite grown up yet. So, my mother as well as Peter’s father had lost their fathers much, much too early. I wonder, how this may have effected their lives. My mum was only about eight when she lost her father in the Flu-Epidemic after WW One. Peter’s father was 15 when he lost his father in France in WW One. When he was 16 he volunteered to become a soldier in WW One and in WW Two he was a soldier again . . . .

Peter wrote about his grandfather, Otto Hannemann, here: https://berlioz1935.wordpress.com/2014/11/03/my-granddad-and-world-war-i/

10 thoughts on “August 2021 Diary

  1. I do hope you will soon be able to meet up with family and friends again, dear Uta. It’s very hard to get used to being “I” when you have been “we” for so long, and the lockdown must make that worse for you. I’m reminded of the poem by ee cummings “one’s not half two. It’s two are halves of one.” I wish you a beautiful spring and summer and send a hug.

    1. Actually, Jan, I wrote the above two months ago. It looks like everything may be opening up over the next two months. I am hopeful now, for a large Christmas celebration! 🙂

  2. Yes, the dishes can wait…they will always be there. 😉 I’d rather do something more fun! 😀
    I hope you can see your family again soon, SweetUta!
    I feel the same way you do…I miss seeing everyone. And I wonder if we will even be able to get together for Christmas this year.
    I know you miss dear Peter so so so so SO very much. 😦 I can’t even imagine how difficult that is. I remember when my Dad passed away…he and my mom had been together and married for 62 years +. I know what a struggle it was for her.
    And I KNOW all of this with Covid19 has made everything more difficult. 😦
    ((((HUGS)))) ❤
    PS…I posted on pumpkins yesterday. I wanted to let you know you are a "pumpkin" in my life…you give me joy and courage and strength! I look up to you. Thank you! 🙂

    1. My computer froze on me yesterday, Carolyn. Without a computer I felt very much lost. It was good, that daughter Caroline could help me today to restore everything. It is really quite awful, how much I depend on that computer!
      Things do look up right now. Soon there wont be any more lockdown. So, I am really hopeful now, that things are going to change for the better.
      I hope the same for you. Maybe you are going to have a good Christmas. Do not give up hope, dear Carolyn!
      Love and HUGS! 🙂
      Uta 🙂

      1. Oh, no! 😦 That is not good. I’m glad Caroline could help!
        We all depend on our computers so much these days.
        Thank you, Uta! I’ll hang onto the hope. 🙂
        More (((HUGS))) and ❤

      2. Hi, Carolyn! I did it again: Mixing up the names in my brain! 🙂 Daughter Caroline lives in Sydney, and I haven’t seem her in months because of the lockdown. However, daughter Monika was able to come and set everything right. I was so relieved! It is a good feeling, that I can write again. 🙂

        Without computers we would have to switch to handwriting the old fashioned way. And imagine, our letters would have to go go into the snail-mail! Right now, this snail mail takes up to 7 days just from one suburb to the next suburb! 🙂

        I do not believe that we can take computers for granted for ever and ever, not at all. One major disaster and all electricity and computer connections might be gone! Think about bushfires, earthquakes, floods, cyber attacks and so on. . . . I think if everything still works alright, we are just lucky. 🙂

        So far it is possible to recover from these natural disasters. I hope, it stays that way! 🙂 People are always ready to help out in disasters like this. And if people are willing to work together, maybe a lot of these disasters can be managed somehow. 🙂 I still believe, that there can be a good future for most people, and also that most people can learn to live with the virus and stay healthy. 🙂

        You stay healthy, dear Carolyn, and do enjoy life as much as possible. 🙂

        Love and HUGS from me Uta 🙂

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