What do I anticipate?

The above is the start of a post of mine from March 17, 2013.

I wrote then: ‘I anticipate that I’ll probably live for another five or ten years. I also anticipate that I might perhaps even be able to venture on another overseas trip when I am in my eighties!’

Well, by March 2023 the ten years will be gone! And what then? Will I keep on living, and for how long? What do I anticipate now? I could not say. I only know, life becomes more and more uncertain. Every year, every month, every day is just a bonus.

Peter made a comment to that. He wrote: ‘I hope you anticipate that I’m with you all the way. It is important that old people are not lonely. In today’s societies the elderly are often left to their own devices.’

And he was with me all the way, until he died. Two years ago Peter was given only a few month to live. And he died before Christmas that year. His oncologist had warned us that this would happen, for he suffered from bone cancer.

So, I am now one of those lonely widows. True, there are still a lot of positives in my life. I really do get all the support that I need. However, for as long as their was a partner actually waiting to hug me and all that, for sure this made for a good life!

Peter always said, that he is only half of one. I was the other half! So, what am I now? A lonely widow! Actually, living on my own is not all bad. Some doctors that I saw recently, told me, I could live to be 100. Is it possible to love life that much, that one would wish to live for that long? After all, it is very unlikely, that a one hundred year old would still have any kind of partner: Just memories, memories . . . .

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