I am happy that I managed to walk a lot these last few days, well whatever is a lot for me. On Sunday I had this walk to the pool and back. Yesterday, on Monday, I had my homehelp coming in the morning as is usual on any Monday that does not happen to be a Public Holoday. So I had dear Summah with me yesterday. I always enjoy her presence. She is such good company and does so much for me during the three hours she stays with me. Yesterday she dropped me off at 12,30 to get my hair done. I have a hairdresser’s appointment every four weeks now. It is so good to get my hair washed and blowdried by my marvellous hairdresser. Yesterday she did a bit of haircutting again too. Also, there is always a lot of talking going on at the hairdresser’s. I find it is good for me to find opportunities for some talking. So, my lovely hairdresser did a good job again. Her shop is not far away from the Shopping Center at the Dapto Mall. So I could easily walk to the Mall with my rollator to have some lunch at a cafe called the shed. The other day I had looked at a blog of mine that was about ten years old and where I mention a nice meal I had in Berry with Peter, my husband. We always loved a trip to Berry. As a meal that day we both happened to choose Eggs Benedict with lovely crusty rye bred. Yesterday at the shed I daringly went for Eggs Benedict in rememberace of that lovely meal at Berry. To my surprise I did get exceptionelly good Eggs Benedict served. They were as good as the ones that we had in Berry the way I remember it.
Yesterday was an extremely hot and humid day. So, I was happy to stay for many hours in and near the the Shopping Center, doing a lot of walking as well as a bit of shopping. After an exhausting day I took a taxi home. After a lot of sleep, I feel refreshed this morning.
Yesterday was a very hot day. So, I went to the Swimming Pool Centre here in Dapto, NSW. Arriving at 11AM, I had a lovely time and stayed at the pools for exactly four hours. I had been walking there with my rollator (walker with wheels). With a few rests on the way it took me quite a while to get there. The place was filled with a lot of children of all ages as well as young adults and of course some older people too. There seemed to be mothers and fathers with babies and toddlers everywhere. Also plenty of lifeguards were keeping an eye on the place, which was a very peaceful place as far as I could tell.
Apart from the Olympic Pool there is another quite large pool where the water is not very deep. Young and old took a chance to relax in it. Also there was no problem to stay out of the sun in nice shady partitions and in beauifully kept grass under shady trees. People are very concious these days that they should not expose their skin to the sun for too long.
With a lot of relaxing on that beautiful summer day, I felt actually well enough in the afternoon to walk all the way to CITOS Bowling Club which is very near to where I live. So, I stayed at the club for a lovely dinner: I had braised fish and salad and a glass of wine. Just wonderful! I liked the fish very much. It was the very best of fish.
Yesterday there was no pool entrance fee charged. How amazing, for usually to be admitted to that beautiful pool area does cost quite a lot. Another plus was that the Kiosk was open. I started with having some ice cream. Later on I had some hot chips and a coffee. I also bought a nicely chilled bottle of water. And I had brought a packet of chilled apple juice with me. By the way, at the club I had another coffee. I was very happy that I was able to consume this and that all through the day. I really felt on top of the world. To enjoy food and drink is still one of my top pleasures. However, these days I never do eat too much. I always stop eating when I feel I had enough. My fish for dinner was quite a large piece. It turned out I had no problem eating all of it! It just melted in my mouth and was not too much at all. Together with some nice fresh salad it was really a very good meal for me.
Whenever I moved around with my rollator, or frollicked in the swimming pool, people would caution their children to keep out of my way. And they would always refer to me as ‘lady’. Whenever people would feel they might have obstructed my movements a bit, they would immediately be very appologetic! And there were always people offering help when they noticed that I might need some help.
All around it is really not that bad to be very aged, when people are that kind. I find, all I need to do is be grateful for their kindness.
Here I go. How about writing a post every day? Yes, I want to give it a go. Wish me luck that I can keep it up!
Heute ist ein schöner Tag!
Today is a nice day!
I was sitting outside in a light breeze feeling very content and meditating to my heart’s content. I memorised some things out of different stages of my life. For instance I thought about it how different people may actually see me. I am sure there was a time when a lot of people, mainly women, thought that I was something like a sex-pot. Behind my back they would make snide remarks about me. Anyway, this is how I remember it, that indeed some good loyal friends sometimes opened up to me about it.
Do a lot of people still see me that way now that I am approaching 90? What do you think?
Funny enough I still love to read and talk about sex very openly! It seems to me a lot has changed in sexual matters, especially during the last 20 years or so. For instance, very decent people choose not to get married anymore to have a sexual relationship. Also, more and more committed relationships do not last for very long. A person may have multiple relationships during a lifetime. It is really quite unusual now that a marriage lasts a lifetime for the percentage of divorces is on a steady increase. Partly maybe it has to do with that the average lifespan is more and more on the increase.
And what do you think has women’s liberation to do with it?
And how does it affect the children? In Western society the birthrate is getting very low. Who has still a lot of children?
I do not know when was the last time I wrote something for the Diary. It seems it may have been quite some time ago. My life is pretty good right now; and the way I cope with everything is getting better. It is so good, that I can still look after myself. Sure, I do need a bit of extra help, and with advancing age the help I do need is likely to increase. However, any extra help I get I accept gracefully now. Yes, I find it liberating to be able to say thank you to everyone who gives me some help. Actually, there are many people who always want to help when they see I might need some help.
One daughter of mine struggles with some health issues right now, and I pray for her that she gets better soon. The rest of the family is doing well. The younger daughter came visiting me yesterday with her family. They stayed ar my place for three hours. We all had a good time and talked a lot. I always feel good when I can talk a lot of different people. We were four adults and a sweet little boy who had fun exploring my place. The visitors had brought a very good lunch along and did all the catering for me. This felt so good to have a perfect lunch ar home for all of us. The daughter, son-in-law and son-in-laws son they all did their share to bring all the great food to the table. And later on they cleared everything away and did the dishes always working together in unison. I stayed out of their way. However I had always someone to talk to.
Son-in-law made the coffee and served it for all of us outside to the table. It was good to sit outside on the deck where the table was covered a bit with some awning and an umbrella. The air was lovely fresh. There was only a little bit of rain and sometimes a slight breeze.
Today are the tennis finals which I am going to watch now.
Today we had a look at the flowers in the Leighton Gardens of Moss Vale. We also had a nice visit with our friends in Bowral. Peter took all the pictures for I still have not replaced my lovely digital camera. I miss it so much! On the way home we stopped at the Robertson Pie Shop where we had pies for lunch which taste as good as ever. For afternoon coffee we took some fruit pies home that were filled with beautiful fresh cream. Very yummy indeed!
We were lucky to see some tulips at Moss Vale. We did not mind so much that we did not see the tulips in the Corbett Gardens of Bowral where an immense crowd had gathered for the opening of the tulip festival.
Gaby came down with poliomyelitis on her fourth birthday. That was in 1961. When she was 32, in 1989, she left institutional care and moved into her own home in Merrylands West, a Western suburb of Sydney. David (Dave) became her full time carer. But as a quadriplegic with breathing difficulties who needed to sleep in an iron lung, she needed several people to come in on a daily basis to look after her diverse needs.
Anyhow, Gaby was happy to leave the home for disabled people and move into her own home. 40 year old David did for nearly twenty years a marvellous job in doing whatever he could for Gaby. But in the end his health deteriorated more and more. It became impossible for him to the the things for Gaby he would normally have to do as her carer. It was a rather sad situation. Gaby knew that David needed help but she did not know how to provide this for him.
Gaby and David both loved animals. Soon after moving in Gaby acquired a companion dog provided by the people who train dogs for blind people. Dave liked that dog too. They called her Bonnie. A cat named Clyde became Bonnie’s companion. Gaby just adored her animals. They were like her children. She always saw to it that they had everything they needed.
Gaby with BonnieGaby with ClydeBonnie and Clyde in front of the gas heater
Bonnie is being spoiled!
I happen to have still a Christmas card from Gaby and Dave with a calendar for 1998 in it. The card came with a book: A Tolstoy biography by A.N. Wilson, first published in Great Britain in 1988. This is a great reference book and a great read. Gaby chose this book for me as a Christmas gift. She did choose very well. She always took great care to choose gifts for all the family for birthdays and for Christmas. Of course her funds were limited. So she always looked for bargains. Quite often her choices were astoundingly good.
This is the outside of the Christmas card.And this is the inside of it.Gaby moved her electric chair with her chin, she used her mouth stick for phone and computer.Here she looks like having grown up a bit more.Here she is in her bedroom getting ready for the day.After Gaby lost Clyde, she did get a new kitten.Blackie, the kitten, grew into this.Gaby is having fun seeing Father Christmas.
Sadly Gaby lost Bonnie. She was lucky that after some time she was given a replacement dog which she called ‘Honey’. Honey was quite skinny at first but soon filled out a bit.
Gaby can celebrate Christmas 2003 with companion dog Honey.
Auntie, Sister. Grandmother, Great-Grandmother, Mother and Wife of German Descent I’ve lived in Australia since 1959 together with my husband Peter. We have four children, eight grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. I started blogging because I wanted to publish some of my childhood memories. I am blogging now also some of my other memories. I like to publish some photos too as well as a little bit of a diary from the present time. Occasionally I publish a story with a bit of fiction in it. Peter, my husband, is publishing some of his stories under berlioz1935.wordpress.com View all posts by auntyuta
10 thoughts on “With Love from Gaby, Dave, Bonnie & Clyde”
cardamone5EditThese pictures, and your narrative, warm my heart.Fondly, ElizabethReply
auntyutaEditThank you very much for your response, dear Elizabeth. Sincerele, Aunty UtaReply
berlioz1935EditGaby was a great character and was loved by all who had contact with her. She never forgot a name or face. On Monday it is two years that she past away suddenly.Reply
auntyutaEditTwo years have passed. We do remember her. Thanks for the comment, Peter.Reply
catterelEditShe lives on in your hearts – such happy memories. Blessings xReply
aussieian2011EditA beautiful sad story to read Uta, a story of a Princess and her Prince Charming. David is to be commended for his love and loyalty, that is a beautiful picture of Gaby at her computer desk. Regards IanReply
auntyutaEditYou are too right there, Ian, love and loyalty do play a great part in this beautiful and sad story. Gaby at her computer desk, this is indeed a lovely picture. Thank you, Ian, for your heartfelt comments. Very much appreciated! Many thanks, UtaReply
auntyutaEditJust having read the whole story once more and looking at all the pictures that go with it, I cannot help myself, I feel I want to reblog this again in memory of Gaby!
About living apart together it says the following:
‘Widowers, tend to report that they have not repartnered because they are concerned about being undesirable partners due to older age and ill health.’
“Many older women are interested in companionship but may want to avoid long-term obligations and are hesitant to give up their new independence. However, an arrangement called Living Apart Together (LAT) offers an appealing alternative; it is a form of intimate ongoing companionship that allows each partner to maintain autonomy and independent households.”
Auntie, Sister. Grandmother, Great-Grandmother, Mother and Wife of German Descent, lived in Australia since 1959. Husband Peter died in 2020. We had four children, eight grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren. I, Uta, started blogging because I wanted to publish some of my childhood memories. I am blogging now also some of my other memories. I liked to publish some photos. I still like to publish a little bit of a diary. Peter, my husband, published some of his stories under berlioz1935.wordpress.com View all posts by auntyuta
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5 thoughts on “Romantic Relationships in later Life”
catterelEditInteresting. I must say that I haven’t been averse to forming a new relationship – I simply haven’t me anyone that suits! And I certainly enjoy my independence. There would have o be compromises on both sides. I think the key question is, how lonely are you are and what are you prepared to sacrifice in order to have he companionship you crave.Reply
auntyutaEditIn an intimate ongoing companionship each partner is to maintain autonomy and independent households, if it is based on LAT. So it should be quite different from a marriage relationship. Really no need to get married in old age, while still having some kind of companionship! Of course you have to be lucky to meet the right kind of partner for this kind of ongoing relationship. Reply
doesitevenmatter3EditInteresting! I think finding a good loving partner is difficult at any age. But, I definitely understand seniors wanting a good companion, affection, sharing adventures, etc. One day, years ago, I was visiting with my Mom and her friend Julie (Both widows in their mid to late 90’s…both had loved their husbands and missed them.) Julie said, “We don’t talk about men much anymore…we mostly talk about food and shopping.” I laughed. Then she said, “We think older men just want an older woman in their life for one of two reasons…they want you as their nurse…or they want your purse…they hope you have money.” The two of them laughed, and I laughed with them. (((HUGS))) Reply
auntyutaEditI think, if they want a nurse, wouldn’t it be more likely that a younger fairly healthy woman could act as a nurse? And should they not be in a position then to at least pay for their own way? This is indeed laughable, that only these very needy old man are available! I would laugh it off too, not wanting myself to burden with such a man. I would like only a man who could give me some enjoyment and pleasure just by being good company. Reply
auntyutaEditI have been thinking a bit about this dilemma, that maybe esspecially very elderly men and women might experience, I mean the dilemma of needing perhaps constant nursing care. Of course, this sort of thing can happen to anybody at any time. So, if one man or woman, or both, do need already constant nursing care, can they still look for sexual encounters with each other? If there is a mutual sexual attraction, why not?
Yes, I definitely feel, that I live on bonus time, not borrowed time, but bonus time!
I do not know of any person in my family, going back a few hundred years, wo did live for as long as I’ve lived already. I am still healthy and strong, even though I have a number of age related handicaps, like very bad vision, hearing problems, breathing problems, problems with arthritis and dizziness and overall balance problems.
Still, I am healthy, and some people seem to think I can live much longer, maybe even reaching the age of 100. I don’t care. for as long as I am allowed to die a natural death. The fact is, that for quite a few years now, I have lived on bonus time!
This reminds me about a dear friend of ours, that my husband talked about often. Lesley came to Australia as a Hungarian migrant. Irene, his bride, lived in Croatia near the Hungarian border. She followed him, and they got married in Australia and had two sons, who are doing well. The couple moved to our complex of ten villas when they were already retired. My husband Peter and I became good friends with them. Meeting Les at the letter-box, Les told Peter one day, that he was living on bonus time. Les was already in his eighties by then, and Peter was a few years younger. Three days later Les was dead. He had a stroke and could not be saved.
I am still good friends with Irene. But sadly Peter died in December of 2020 of some very severe, terminal health problems . . . .
cardamone5
AuntyUta 