The first photo was probably taken shortly after Eva moved into the hostel.
The second photo was taken by a waitress who offered to take our photo while we were waiting for our coffee.
Eva is in the photo 88 and I am 65.
Tags: Eva, Old Age
I read your previous account of Eva. It’s great you have photos to remember her by. Did she not have any children or other relatives?
It’s sad that she was restricted by her husband. It’s sad too that they did not get along during their years growing old together. I don’t have enough details to understand why but I feel sorry that they must have grown apart as people. That’s very isolating. I can’t help but wonder what her husband’s motives were for all the restrictions he imposed. One of it seems that he must have known she would leave him if she had more financial independence. That’s just an assumption I’m making though.
What is a “Hostel” as you termed it? Here in the USA, we have a different definition for it. I am assuming that where you are, it is the equivalent of a nursing home/facility to care for elderly who can no longer care for themselves or who can’t or will not live alone anymore. There have been many articles written about them. There have been a few movies set in them. One that comes to mind is the movie, “In Her Shoes,” where Shirley MacLaine plays the grandmother to two beautiful women played by Toni Colette and Cameron Diaz. I’d stay in that kind of facility. It looks very welcoming and happy. But, I have to admit, I have never been to an actual one In real life.
Hi Mary-Ann, thank you so much for reading about Eva and writing such a thoughtful response. As far as her relationship with her husband is concerned, this is of course rather complicated. I’ll probably blog a bit more about it soon.
Nursing Homes in Australia are for sick people who need medical attention 24/7. The hostels for the aged are meant for people who can still do most things for themselves, like taking showers, walking to the dining-room for meals etc. Sadly there aren’t always places in nursing homes available when people need them. This means when a resident in a hostel needs nursing home care and should be transferred to a nursing home, often the transfer has to be delayed and the hostel staff have to look after the sick residents who should really be in a nursing home.
I forgot to mention that Eva had no children. Some distant relatives would have some correspondence with her but lived too far away for visits.
Sorry, I want to quickly add a bit more to this. Eva helped out in the kitchen for as long as her health permitted it. She always got on fabulously with the staff. Most people who knew her, showed that they cared for her a lot and were her friends. She got on well with the few male residents which made some of the women residents a bit jealous, I think.
I guess the “Hostel” you refer to are what some term here as “Residences for Active Seniors” or something like that.
It’s great you were able to be her family in her older years. I hope I will have good company in the event I get to be the one left behind to fend for myself.
Yes, Mary-Ann, the people who live in these hostels for seniors are referred to as ‘residents’. This probably means they are similar to your residences for active seniors.
For retirement living there are several options in Australia. The trend is to encourage people to stay living in their own homes for as long as possible with some extra help from outside if required. If you move to a retirement village, a lot of them come in three stages: Independent living, where you have your own unit and do your own cooking and cleaning for as long as possible. The next stage would be having only one room in a hostel. If you get sick and have to stay in bed indefinitely, it is required you be transferred to a nursing home.
These permanently bedridden people often take up places in hospitals because the transfer to a nursing home often cannot be arranged soon enough. As far as I know there are some hospitals with special palliative care facilities. There probably should be more of these facilities available. Palliative care should be preferable to just nursing care. This is what I would think. Wouldn’t you?
Eva looks like a lovely lady…
I think even when she felt depressed, she coped with it rather well. I was very fond of her. Thanks for commenting, Eliz.
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