How soon is too soon?

So, I published this in December last year. It was interesting for me to read this again. I wonder, how much did I change during the last ten months or so. What do you think?


Dating While Widowed: How Soon Is Too Soon?

This is a copy. The reblog did not seem to work:

“The question comes up a lot among widowed and those who are interested in dating them – how soon after the death of a spouse is it considered appropriate to begin dating/or pursuing?

It depends on who you ask.

Other widowed people like to trot out the tired cliché –“If you have to ask, it’s too soon.”It’s such a circular and unhelpful answer that I’d like to ban the phrase from the grief lexicon because given the minefield of rules and expectations surrounding widowhood, asking is the only way to clarify whether the signals you are receiving from your peers, family and friends are about your welfare or their self-interest.

This isn’tGone With the Windtimes. Scarlett knew the rules on widowed decorum because society at that time…

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2 thoughts on “How soon is too soon?

  1. Like most things in life, this is a personal matter that no one but the widow(er) can answer. It’s something internal and different for each individual. I also believe serendipity may play into the answer. A widowed person may simply not have access to eligible and compatible partners.

    And frankly, in my circle of friends and acquaintances, a lot of women over about 60, have absolutely no interest in remarrying after divorce or widowhood. They’ve had it with babying men’s fragile egos and tending the house. They’ve discovered the joy of autonomy and are not eager to give it up. So, they may enjoy a date: dinner, a movie, a concert, or even a cruise. But marriage? Forget it. And that makes most men 60+ very uncomfortable.

  2. ” So, they may enjoy a date: dinner, a movie, a concert, or even a cruise.”
    Linda, I enjoyed all these things with my husband when he was still alive.
    Because men generally do not live as long as women, there’s a surplus of women in our age group. So one could have dinners and so on with any like minded person, male or female.
    But just because I go out with someone, does not mean I seek to be married.
    What do you think about this situationship trend:


    A fedw of my thoughts about it you can find here:

    The Situationship: A New Relationship Trend

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