It looks to me, that some people like to treat me, as though I am not anymore capable of making any decision of my own, meaning they want me to do as they tell me to do.
Well, in case I should have to live a number more years, then most likely, at some stage I do have to be treated like I do need total looking after. And I am sure, once I am that far gone, I am going to accept treatment like this. But really, I would not mind at all to die before I get to that stage!
Why do I feel that I am not that far gone yet? Do I really give other people the impression that I am that far gone already? Or how come, that they insist on treating me like this?
I must admit, when they make me so upset and nervous, I seem not to be able to act normally! My heart starts to race, my breathing gets bad etc. I am so grateful, that most weeks, that is 24/7, I am just on my own. Peace, peace, and I can do as I like. Being alone is nearly always a good thing now.
I can still go for long walks every day, when the weather is good. I would say, on average, I converse with people only for a very limited time. This usually has to be just enough.
On a lot of days I also go without touching someone. But really, more than any touching, I miss that usually there is now nobody actually personally present for some beautiful extended conversations!
Well, I wrote the above a few weeks ago. So, we have December now. Yesterday was the first Saturday of the month. Mark and his mother Merl invited me for lunch in Dapto. After lunch the three of us had coffee on my beautiful deck. It was a very calm, sunny day. All of us enjoyed very much sitting outside. Some of our conversation centered on the above subject, namely how the elderly should be treated and be helped to remain independent for as long as possible. But often they are being treated in a way that makes them become more and more dependent, when really they could be helped to still be totally independent!
It looks to me, that some people like to treat me, as though I am not anymore capable of making any decision of my own, meaning they want me to do as they tell me to do.
Well, in case I should have to live a number more years, then most likely, at some stage I do have to be treated like I do need total looking after. And I am sure, once I am that far gone, I am going to accept treatment like this. But really, I would not mind at all to die before I get to that stage!
Why do I feel that I am not that far gone yet? Do I really give other people the impression that I am that far gone already? Or how come, that they insist on treating me like this?
Auntie, Sister. Grandmother, Great-Grandmother,
Mother and Wife of German Descent
I've lived in Australia since 1959 together with my husband Peter. We have four children, eight grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. I started blogging because I wanted to publish some of my childhood memories. I am blogging now also some of my other memories. I like to publish some photos too as well as a little bit of a diary from the present time. Occasionally I publish a story with a bit of fiction in it. Peter, my husband, is publishing some of his stories under berlioz1935.wordpress.com
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9 thoughts on “Am I already like a 100-year-old or what?”
This really resonates with me, Uta. Very well put. Sometimes I feel as if I should be turning cartwheels just to show that I’m not a total wreck yet! I don’t know if it’s an effect of covid isolation, but I have no patience with small talk any more, don’t want to waste whatever precious time I have left on silly things. So maybe I appear rude and impatient sometimes?
I feel the same, Cat, the precious time I have left I want to spend doing things that are enjoyable and important to me. And the conversations I have should be enjoyable too and meaningful in some way. 🙂
Enjoy each day…one at a time. 🙂 Be sure do some some things that matter to you and things that bring you joy!
(((HUGS))) 🙂 ❤️
PS…when I typed the word “joy”, I accidentally typed Joe…I don’t know who Joe is! HA!!! 😀
This is such a touching and important post. And a reminder to each one of us that our time is coming, if accident or disease doesn’t step in first. I fully understand and appreciate how frustrating, no maddening, it is for people to treat you as a child. After the life you’ve been through, the things you’ve toughed out, that is a real slap in the face. I know they mean well. They worry about what could happen to you while you live alone. But, so what? There’s a time for everything. Hopefully the time doesn’t come about strapped in a hospital bed in agony from a broken hip. But as the end draws nearer, we need to be more accepting that yes, maybe something will happen. But it won’t be the worst thing to ever happen. Hang in there, my friend.
Everything that you say in your comment, dear Linda, makes a real lot of sense to me. Thank you so much for this very thoughtful comment. 🙂
Stay safe! Love, Uta 🙂
Oh wow this was just so powerful and part of my greatest fears. Our indépendance is everything. Sending you big hugs and wishing much independent joy every day.
You’re definitely not alone in your fears but so brave of you to share them so openly. You encapsulate how many of us feel and somehow that helps a lot. Perhaps it will improve things for us all and we can be treated with more dignity when we are less able.
AuntyUta 
This really resonates with me, Uta. Very well put. Sometimes I feel as if I should be turning cartwheels just to show that I’m not a total wreck yet! I don’t know if it’s an effect of covid isolation, but I have no patience with small talk any more, don’t want to waste whatever precious time I have left on silly things. So maybe I appear rude and impatient sometimes?
I feel the same, Cat, the precious time I have left I want to spend doing things that are enjoyable and important to me. And the conversations I have should be enjoyable too and meaningful in some way. 🙂
Thanks so much for commenting! 🙂
HUGS, Uta
Enjoy each day…one at a time. 🙂 Be sure do some some things that matter to you and things that bring you joy!
(((HUGS))) 🙂 ❤️
PS…when I typed the word “joy”, I accidentally typed Joe…I don’t know who Joe is! HA!!! 😀
Carolyn, I liked Joe Carli’s blog about a pasta meal:
https://freefall852.wordpress.com/2022/11/25/a-pasta-meal-of-fusilli-ai-ferri/comment-page-1/#comment-4861
Thank you so much for commenting, dear Carolyn! 🙂
HUGS, Uta
This is such a touching and important post. And a reminder to each one of us that our time is coming, if accident or disease doesn’t step in first. I fully understand and appreciate how frustrating, no maddening, it is for people to treat you as a child. After the life you’ve been through, the things you’ve toughed out, that is a real slap in the face. I know they mean well. They worry about what could happen to you while you live alone. But, so what? There’s a time for everything. Hopefully the time doesn’t come about strapped in a hospital bed in agony from a broken hip. But as the end draws nearer, we need to be more accepting that yes, maybe something will happen. But it won’t be the worst thing to ever happen. Hang in there, my friend.
Everything that you say in your comment, dear Linda, makes a real lot of sense to me. Thank you so much for this very thoughtful comment. 🙂
Stay safe! Love, Uta 🙂
Oh wow this was just so powerful and part of my greatest fears. Our indépendance is everything. Sending you big hugs and wishing much independent joy every day.
Shanti, thank you very much for your lovely comment! 🙂
I always love to hear from you! 🙂
Big HUGS to you too! 🙂
❤ Aunty Uta 🙂
You’re definitely not alone in your fears but so brave of you to share them so openly. You encapsulate how many of us feel and somehow that helps a lot. Perhaps it will improve things for us all and we can be treated with more dignity when we are less able.