On the 21st of December 2022 I published this:
Today I wrote into the comment section of that post the following:
So, I’m thinking how I’m still useful towards the end of my life.
Also, I can still enjoy my life, very much so! And I can still stay fairly
independent, for instance by sizing down. The plan is, that I give up
my home and keep only one small room which is to be wholly just for me.
Today, I’ll write about this plan a bit more in a new post!
So, I want to write now about my still useful life. The plan is, that daughter Monika and granddaughter Natasha are going to take over my house. All I keep is just one small room! All my earthly possessions have to fit into this small room. That means a lot of de-cluttering for me! I hope my family can do this de-cluttering for me over the next six months or so. Hopefully, after about six months, the new owners may be ready to move into the house with all their stuff!
What does this sound like to you?
13 thoughts on “A new Post by Uta in January 2023”
This will work IF you all have a very good, honest relationship with one another, and boundaries are clearly delimited. For instance, if your friends come to visit, will they have to sit with you in your room or will you still have the use of your living or dining room? Is it possible for you to convert a couple of rooms & bathroom into a Granny flat so that you can retain a certain amount of independence? What if your granddaughter throws a loud, boisterous party? My mother had a friend who did something similar, and although it was OK in the beginning, the daughter gradually remodelled the place so that after a couple of years the old lady felt like an intruder in what had been her own house. She spent all her time sitting watching TV in her room because she didn’t want to disturb the others, and could no longer entertain her friends as she had done before. Food for thought! I do hope it works for you, dear Uta.
Oh, dear Cat, this is a very interesting comment in deed, and gives me a lot of food for thought! I always thought, a granny flat would be a great idea.
Dear Cat, I continue here a bit:
It is a fact, that my room is rather small. Monika needs the largest bedroom, for she wants to work in it from home.
I tend to think, we have to share somehow all the facilities. For instance, there is a three way bathroom, a separate laundry, and a fairly large two way kitchen.
I am very flexible with my time. I would try to stick to using any of the facilities when the others do not use them so much. This goes for the dining room area and for the living room too.
I think I would probably be free to use the very nice big outside deck whenever I felt like it and the weather was suitable!
Every few weeks on a Friday afternoon I would have two or three of my friends over for our afternoon games with a tea/coffee break in between games. The other Friday afternoons I would be staying on one of my friends’ places.
The point is, I do not want to keep any of my stuff that I cannot take with me into my room. So my family are free to furnish the place with their own stuff according to their taste. I have nothing to do with the way the place is furnished. I stay out of it. I would ask though to leave me a few kitchen things that I can use for preparing my meals, Also, I’ll need a little bit of fridge space, as well as some pantry space!
If I decide to move somewhere else, like someone’s granny flat, I’d have to pay rent for that. If my family wants to stay then in my house, I hope we could negotiate that they do pay me a small amount of rent for staying in my house. How does that sound?
There might be some parties goimg on, that I’d like to join for a little while, and then go to bed whenever I felt getting tired. With my sleeping hours I tend to be very flexibel too. I seem to have no trouble going to sleep, when I feel very tired and relaxed.
When Peter was still alive, we often had guests staying at
our house in the spare bedroom. Some guests were from somewhere in Australia. Overseas guests would stay for up to a month or more! Guests had always been welcome at our place.
I hope whatever you decide to do, it is for you…and it works out well.
We want you safe, happy, at peace, and enjoying life.
Tank you, dear Carolyn! 🙂
HUGS to you too! ❤
The most important factor is your relationship with your daughter and granddaughter. From what you have written about your family, I have he impression that you are all very caring and considerate of one another, and that is very positive. If you reach a point where your mobility is badly impaired, it will be much more pleasant for you to be with your own children rather has in a stranger’s place. I believe you could make it work, but you have to be aware of possible causes of conflict or discomfort.
Thanks, dear Cat, for your very thoughtful reply.
In about 20 months I’llbe 90. Maybe I have a good chance to make it to 90!
We have a wonderful summer here in the Illawarra of NSW right now. The weather is just perfect. I spend a lot of time on my beautiful deck outside. Yesterday my daughter Caroline and son-in-law Matthew came to visit from Sydney. We all went to the Port Kembla Swimming Pool Centre which is run by the Wollongong Council and is for free. The beach is right next to it. There were lots and lots of people there, and this was already very early in the morning! All of us had a good time. 🙂
Uta, I really hope you make it to 90 in good health and that you continue to enjoy life to the full. Very best wishes and a big hug.
Big HUG to you too, dear Cat. 🙂
I’m sure this will be stressful and difficult. However, I suspect the results will be good for all of you. My friends’ parents have just been moved out of their home and into a retirement community in which they have their own tiny apartment but all sorts of communal activities to enjoy. I take inspiration from the 90 something mother’s attitude which is: “I choose to focus on the benefits that we will enjoy from this big upheaval. Of course it will be difficult, but there have to be advantages also, and those are what will balance out the losses.”
This seems to be working for them. Their next door neighbor is a woman the mom grew up with and within the 5 days they’ve been in the new place, they’ve met at least 20 other people and been invited to several activities. Attitude is everything.
Thanks, Linda, for wishing me good luck. Overall I do see myself as a mostly lucky person. I mean I feel so far I am comparatively well off. I just hope, that I am not going to end up in a sub-standard home. Sadly, there are now a lot of age care homes in Australia that are hopelessly under staffed which leads to abuse.
Yes that happens here also. But they’re not all bad. But you will remain home, at least for a while, right?
Yes, Linda, I think for a while. What happens during the last stages of my life, who knows? I cannot see that far into the future, should there be a bit more of a future.