Eleven years ago, in April/May 2012, I was ‘only’ 77. I think I felt then that I was already very old!!

I had bad arthritis in my right leg as well as some inflammation in my right knee. This resulted in difficulty with walking because of huge pain. But on the first of May that year Peter took me on a lovely drive. I did enjoy this outing so very much. I don’t think I experienced a lot of pain that day for Peter made sure that I did not have to walk much.

It was a time when Peter was still very fit. But four years later, in 2016, he had to get some cancer treatment. By mid 2020 the cancer had spread to his bones, and that was then very soon the end of him.

Now I have outlived Peter by more than two years already. It took me a while, learning to live on my own. But I am now resigned to live by myself. I feel, this is still better, than having to go into care. But of course, it would have been so much better, if Peter could have remained reasonably healthy. We had very much enjoyed our carefree retirement life together. And really, usually none of us had too much pain to suffer while we were still together.

But going back eleven years again. Actually, I want to go to something I published eleven years ago! I want to try to collect my thought to look at bits and pieces from this old blog; and I want to write about it, what comes to mind when I look at it today!

The awful pain in my right leg and knee apparently started on my way to church on Sunday, the 29th of April 2012. But I made it to the church, arriving there just in time for a beautiful Mass service with a lot of singing! Here is what I wrote:

“I was very moved by the beautiful singing in the church. Both Fr Francis Tran and the Seminarian, Mr Stephen Varney, were singing Mass. Both have such beautiful voices! The church choir sang very well too. Stephen was given the homily that morning. He pointed out that for some people the Priesthood can offer a fulfilling way of life. They may think that it might be too hard to stick to being a priest. Even though for most people it is right to get married, you may think about it that it is also often not easy to stick to being husband and wife. It all depends on what God wants you to do, doesn’t it?

On Wedesday, the 2nd of May, I say the folowing:

“Monday has come and gone, so has Tuesday. Today is Wednesday and the pain is still there. I can cope with it as long as I don’t do too much! I cancelled the walks with my neighbour, Irene. I didn’t even go to the pool on Monday or to the Thai Yoga class on Tuesday. Peter could have driven me to the pool. But I declined.”

“Peter suggested on Tuesday, the first of May, we could drive to Berry and then further on to Hampden Bridge, I joyfully agreed to this. We had a lovely day out. The weather was perfect for an outing. The good thing was, I didn’t have to walk much. Peter took lots of pictures. I took quite a few pictures too, some of them out of the window from the car.”

Seeing the doctor or the dentist or the optometrist? Apparently, I did not want to do this, for I wrote:

“At the moment I do not want to think about seeing the doctor or the dentist or the optometrist. Within the next couple of months I ought to see all these people. Just now I only want to rest and get better.”

Following are some of the pictures I took on our drive!

From there we drove on to Berry where we had some pies for lunch. We also bought some cake at the Milkwood Bakery. This is a newly opened bakery in Queen Street. They are a branch of the Berry Sourdough Cafe in Prince Alfred Street, which is famous for very good breakfasts.

This picture shows a tree with autumn leaves in a street in Berry

We turned off from Berry taking the Tourist Drive to Hampden Bridge

21 thoughts on “What does God want me to do?”

1. likeitizMay 2, 2012 at 3:32 pmEditHello, Aunty Uta. Sad to hear you are in pain. Do you have arthritis? Or is this an old injury? I hope it’s been looked at and you are getting the right treatment for it.Reply
   1. auntyutaMay 2, 2012 at 3:36 pmEditThanks for your concern, dear Mary-Ann. It’s not an old injury. It’s probably old age, don’t you think?Reply
      1. likeitizMay 3, 2012 at 2:04 am EditSome mild discomfort and initial stiffness that gradually alleviates with increased movement is natural in aging but not the pain you described. I would recommend that you have it examined if it recurs or persists. It may be something that’s easily treated. The last thing you want is something that will restrict your mobility. This would be very detrimental to your continued well-being.
2. auntyutaMay 3, 2012 at 8:15 am EditYou’re right, Mary-Ann. What you say makes a lot of sense to me. Actually Peter has to see his doctor for his annual check-up so he can keep his drivers’ license. In the past he liked to see his doctor at the Medical Centre Wednesday nights, when he was on night duty and there wasn’t a very long waiting time. We both tried to see this doctor last night. There were already ten people signed in waiting to see him. This would have meant a waiting time of more than two hours for us. After consultation with the receptionist we decided we would see the doctor early Friday morning, because on Thursday he’s not available. So I hope for the best now, that it can be easily treated.Reply
3. berlioz1935May 3, 2012 at 11:21 amEdit“What does God wants you to do?”How can an atheist, like me, answer this question? Philosophers, sages and other wise people have thought about this important question for centuries. It is practical the same as asking, “What is the meaning of (my) life?”Let’s assume that your implied assumption is right and there is a God. I think he does not want you to do anything other than to be. His purpose for you falls under the inscrutable. Who knows what God wants you to do? Even bad people have a mission given to them by God. Think of Judas. Without him Jesus could have escaped capture or not? Even Jesus wasn’t sure what was happening when he asked, “Why have you forsaken me?” He of all people should have known that was his purpose.To say your cross is your hurting knee, might be a bit harsh, but it is a reminder that our bodies are subject to decay and sickness; two other aspects of God’s plans for you.And what if we assume there is no God? You have to take responsible action and be happy with what you done. Try to be sure within yourself. Every action is the basis for the next action – cause and effect. Resting in the church was the right thing to do. Seeing a doctor will be the next right thing to do.Reply
   1. auntyutaMay 3, 2012 at 11:43 am EditThanks, Berlioz, for this comment. Of course I realise that seeing the doctor is going to be the next right thing to do. It looks I won’t be able to avoid it!Reply
4. berlioz1935May 3, 2012 at 11:30 amEditHaving the outing with you was the right thing to do. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the clouds in the sky were performing in an artful way.The bakery in Berry is a French bakery and it felt like a trip to the “Provence” in the Autumn.
   The cake was delicious and the bread wholesome.Reply
   1. auntyutaMay 3, 2012 at 11:47 am EditThe bit of “Provence” in Berry was indeed very welcome. I loved the whole outing. We are very blessed to live in such a beautiful area.Reply
5. reflectionsofaprodigalsonMay 4, 2012 at 12:26 amEditHi Uta,I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing some pain and I hope that you find some comfort soon.However, it would appear that, in spite of your pain, you still managed to find some enjoyment. Perhaps there is a lesson for us in that ie even in our most difficult moments, we can still find joy in our lives.Get better soon,CarthageReply
   1. auntyutaMay 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm EditHi Carthage,Oh yes, there’s a lot of enjoyment in life even in old age. Pain just tells me I have to change something. Maybe just slow down a bit more?
      Thank you very much for your good wishes. UtaReply
6. WordsFallFromMyEyesMay 4, 2012 at 2:37 amEditLOVED LOVED LOVED your pictures, and very much envy you! An excellent blog, & very interesting. I am sorry you appear to be n pain & I hope things even out, work out.Sincerely, Noeleen 9859 0132Reply
   1. auntyutaMay 4, 2012 at 12:06 pmEditThanks, Noeleen.Reply
      1. WordsFallFromMyEyesMay 5, 2012 at 10:18 am EditAunty Uta, I meant also to say that I think it’s great you do thai yoga & swimming. I think these things are perfect. I am genuinely sorry about your pain & I just don’t know what you can actually do, because I truly would have thought the swimming would do it. I truly hope you’re better at least today…And the pictures, sigh. Great camera! 
7. auntyutaMay 5, 2012 at 11:05 amEditYou are right, Noeleen, thai yoga and swimming are perfect exercises for me or have been for as long as this arthritic pain didn’t overwhelm me. Yes, I found out now from the doctor that it has to do with arthritis. My knee was xrayed. So now I am on anti-imflammatory tablets.
   The doctor didn’t mention diet. Personally I think I ought to do some changes to my eating habits. Wish me luck with this, Noeleen!
   Thank you so much for thinking of me. I keep thinking about you a lot too!Reply
   1. auntyutaMay 5, 2012 at 11:12 amEditBy the way, Noeleen, if you would like to see some more of those pictures we took last Tuesday, please go to Peter’s blog. If you go to the end of my writing (before the pictures start) you’re going to find the link. I think you’ll be interested in browsing through Peter’s blog!Reply
      1. auntyutaMay 5, 2012 at 11:15 am EditActually Peter wrote about our excursion to Hampden Bridge in two parts. Both parts have some good photos in it.
   2. WordsFallFromMyEyesMay 5, 2012 at 12:13 pmEditI do wish you luck, Aunty Uta, all all luck! YOU CAN DO IT!!Reply
      1. auntyutaMay 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm EditYes, thank you, Noeleen
8. eof737May 5, 2012 at 12:43 pmEditSending you healing light and love… the answers will come. Reply
   1. auntyutaMay 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm EditThanks for that, Eliz.Reply
9. auntyutaFebruary 17, 2022 at 9:44 pm EditReblogged this on AuntyUta and commented:I just have been reading again this old blog of mine and found it very interesting! And I love all the pictures in it! 
   The links to Peter’s Blogs also are of great interest to me!