At the moment I feel, I just want to stay by myself for as long as possible. For instance, every Monday I get three and one half hours of home help, that is paid for by the government. This more or less covers all my present caring needs. I am sure, I would be pretty unhappy, if I had to give up nearly all my indepence right now, for I feel, I can be still fairly independent with just a little bit of support.
Most parents do a lot of loving caring for their children. And a lot of children seem to think, they have to undertake full time caring of their very old parents.
But do all parents like to be treated like they were children that need looking after? I certainly have not reached that stage yet, where I would like to be cared for as though I was a four-year-old. For instance, my daughter Monika would not want me to do anything that may perhaps be a bit risky.
But I do not plan to be living totally risk free. Why should my life be absolutely risk free? I would like to have one or two guests in the house, maybe for as long as one year. I would welcome it, if my daughter with her grown-up daughter would like to stay in my house as guests for a year or so.
The question is, how much care do old people need?
I copy here a bit from my previous blog:
If I go to a caring place, where I’ll have only one room to myself, I can take only as much with me, as fits into the one room. I intend to try this out in my own home now, namely I’ll get rid of all the stuff, that I cannot place into this one bedroom of mine. I want to keep this room, the way I like it, and without any interference by anyone!!
I might want to let my family, that is one daughter and one granddaughter, have my other two bedrooms. Of course, rentfree!
The rest of the house is to be for sharing. But all my stuff in the living-room areas and most of my kitchen stuff has to go. I cannot take it with me, can I? So, my family guests are going to bring their own furniture in.
To have one daughter as well as one granddaughter living close to me, am I going to like this? We’ll see. Maybe it’ll become the stepping stone to something else, like moving out and living somewhere else. In 20 months, I am going to be 90 and celebrating my birthday! If am still alive and kicking by then, that is.
As far as writing goes: Why do I write? I think because I have to. It gives me a reason for living!
AuntyUta 
It is a very difficult decision, indeed. But you are going about finding a solution in a very sensible way, and I’m pretty sure you will make the right choice. I understand that Monika doesn’t want you taking any unnecessary risks, but I hope she will allow you the freedom you need to exercise responsibility for yourself. It’s important as a carer to distinguish between “responsibility for” and “responsibility to” someone. God bless you, your daughter and your granddaughter as you seek the best way forward.
Cat, I reckon it shouldn’t really be a difficult decision to make. Sure, there is love. But is there trust? Do we basically have the same outlook on life, in other words, are we like minded people? All my children love me very much, I am sure of that. I am also sure that they think, that a lot of my views are somewhat odd and not the mainstream views at all.
Peter’s views always had been very similar to my views. And while Peter was still alive, all his children, and especially the grandchildren, respected his views very much.
However, with only me being still alive, and I becoming more and more very elderly, I feel a lot of the respect is missing. Well, this is just the way it is.
At the moment I feel that I do not need or want a carer. What I do want, is some help, so I can stay independent for as long as possible.
I thought, that very much down-sizing was for me the way to go, to be able to lead a more manageable life, and also to be better prepared, when perhaps I would have to go into an age care home where I would have only one bedroom to myself.
For instance, I asked my daughter Caroline to get rid of all the books that Peter had been so fond of. It is indeed amazing, how many books Peter had bought over his very long lifetime, and they were mostly quite valuable books. Now, a lot of them have just ended in the rubbish!
It makes both Caroline and me very sad. Where are the people who could have valued some of the books that have ended in the rubbish, just like that, in a matter of hours? What do I care anyway? It is just fortunate, that I am still alive, isn’t it? The more likely thing could have been, that I had quite peacefully died already, like Peter did without caring what was going to happen to his beloved books.
Dear Uta, I really and truly sympathise with you – and know exactly where you are coming from. This has inspired my latest blog post, so thank you for stirring my thoughts. And oh my goodness, the books! I am in a similar position, lots of books that nobody wants. I hate to see them go to recycling. It’s physically painful.
My kind regards to you. Congratulation for attaining 89+ years of age.
There is lot to learn from you. You have enough strength in your mind. Your all points are very genuine.
Your question is this : //The question is, how much care do old people need?//
My answer is that we need love and trust.
need love of children. Love will cover all cares.
Rightly pointed about old people.
My Best regards.
Namaste.🙏🙏😊❤️🙏
We need love and trust – This is well said. Thank you! 🙂
Yes, we all need love, trust, respect. (emotional support)
I know you know what you need help with (what care you need) and what you don’t, and can express it. Right now it might be more emotional support, than physical care. Best wishes as you work out all the details of what is best for you at this time…and the days to come.
(((HUGS))) 🙂 ❤️
Dear Carolyn, you’re always very good at giving me emotional support. Thank you very much! 🥰
HUGS from me too. ❤
You are very much welcome, Uta!
(((HUGS))) and ❤️ 🙂