The back of our home where we had morning tea with Frances
Our daughter Monika said the other day: ‘I knew, Mum, that you’d like Frances.’ She wasn’t surprised at all that I very much loved having her around. Peter and I were always very much looking forward seeing her here at our home. This was some weeks ago. Very soon now we should get the result of these recording sessions with Frances.
I think Frances saw our daughter Gaby just a few days before Gaby died. Sadly the planned interview with Gaby could not take place at the time. There was some difficulty with incoming calls Gaby was expecting that day. Apparently Gaby was reluctant to switch off her mobile phone!
Gaby’s passing must have been a shock to Frances as it was to all of us. Frances had already been looking with Gaby at some of her documents. She was aware how Gaby caught polio at age four, and that she had lived as a quadriplegic with breathing difficulties for over fifty years. After Gaby’s passing she was keen to interview someone of Gaby’s family.
Frances found out from daughter Monika that we, Gaby’s parents, had gone overseas soon after Gaby’s death and wouldn’t be back for quite some time. In the meantime Frances started interviewing Monika. This is how Monika did get to know Frances. Monika agreed to be interviewed about her life in connection with Gaby. So Frances recorded twice one hour with Monika. Some time later, after our return from our long overseas trip, Peter’s and my tale was recorded too. Peter’s took eight times one hour, mine seven times one hour.
We traveled by train to Sydney last Wednesday and last Thursday. The picture at the top is actually one of the last pictures I took from the train on the way back home on Thursday. On Wednesday Peter had a dental appointment and I had a tooth out that gave me a lot of trouble. Thursday we went to Sydney again and I received my newly fitted dentures. I was glad then that everything was all right.
Still took it a bit easy over the weekend. Friday afternoon I played Scrabble and Rummycub with my friends as planned. Saturday morning was such a beautiful warm morning that Peter and I decided to pay the Dapto pool a visit. We didn’t regret it because the water was absolutely marvelous. Even though I had a bit of pain in my right leg, I still enjoyed some gentle exercises in the water.
A few hours later on Saturday unfortunately the pain did get really bad. Then with a lot of rest it got a bit better on Sunday. I felt I had to see the doctor on Monday morning to find out what was wrong with me. So I did go and saw the doctor this morning. He sent me to have a blood-test done. I am to go back in one week to find out the result of the blood-test.
The doctor asked me whether I had done too heavy work recently. I mentioned that last Monday we had gone back to the house where our deceased daughter had lived and which was being cleaned out. But I didn’t really have to do very much.
What else did we do last week? Well, I didn’t mention that on Wednesday we left very early in the morning to go to our friend’s place who had invited us for lunch. She went all the way to spoil us to bits! No wonder I felt so comfortable at her place that I didn’t feel like going to see the dentist. I told her, I’d rather stay at her lovely place a bit longer. Still we had to catch the bus in time for our appointments. When we did get home in the evening we had been out and about for eleven hours! Really a rather long day for us.
Our welcome drink – (non alcoholic)
cheese from three different countriesView onto the harbour
Peter and I went to the pool this morning. There was sunshine, hardly any breeze, and the water was beautiful!
At the entrance to the pool Peter noticed this sign that children of a certain age had to be accompanied by a responsible adult. This made Peter think back to his childhood days when he would as a six year old wander off unaccompanied to a pool some distance away from home. Well, this would have been more than seventy years ago. How times have changed!
I get tired so easily. And at times I do get very exhausted, physically as well as mentally. Very often some kind of sleepiness overcomes me during the day because of it. If I have then the chance for a little nap, that’s wonderful!
Sometimes I feel so exhausted that I go to bed much too early in the evening, waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep!
My observation is that my husband has a lot more stamina than I have. His sleeping pattern differs too: He usually sleeps for between seven to eight hours, whereas I sleep usually for only six hours, sometimes even a bit less than this.
Maybe we should have separate bedrooms so I won’t disturb him when I wake up early!
After having been to the house on Friday, Peter and I went there again on Monday. David’s family had gone to the house once more on Sunday. So there wasn’t much to do for us anymore when we appeared on Monday. But it was a trip that went for well over 200 km because we also traveled to Parramatta to take some equipment to a health support department who had looked after Gaby. We thought it was only right to return the equipment which they usually pick up themselves. However it had been left in the house for all these months since Gaby died. So it was about time that we returned it. There’s still Gaby’s hoist left in the house. Before the renovators attack the building the health support people are going to contact the owners, the Department of Housing. Thereafter they may arrange that Gaby’s hoist, that’s still attached to the ceiling of her bedroom, can be dismantled. We told them, the house is empty now. Nobody lives there anymore.
Most of the stuff, that was still lying around on Monday, Peter could get rid of at a local opportunity shop. He had to travel there several times because we have only a small car. I occupied myself taking photos and sorting out a few things. For lunch we went to Central Park just around the corner. We have beautiful memories of this park from times long gone. We spent time there with Gaby and David and the whole family for picnics on special occasions. Gaby was even allowed to take her companion dog into the park!
Yesterday, Monday, we did get caught in the traffic. Leaving our place at 8,30 in the morning, we came to a snail’s pace after about an hour. The delay was caused by a minor traffic accident in a suburb where all the major traffic has to pass through. We were delayed by close to 30 minutes. Driving home soon after 2,30 in the afternoon we had again a bit of a delay but in a totally different suburb: One lane had been closed off because of some road work. There were quite a few workers around seemingly very eagerly doing their job. From where we live it takes us around 90 minutes to get to the Western suburbs of Sydney, but only on days when the traffic goes smoothly. Yesterday we had a two hour trip there and also a two hour trip back. By 4,30 we were back home. It felt really good to be back after having been away for eight hours!
When we had been meeting Gaby in Merrylands or Parramatta, this had meant usually a nine hour trip for us: Three hours each way by train, and seeing Gaby for about three hours. We were usually quite exhausted after a trip like this even though we could do a bit of napping on the train. Peter wrote about it here.
Last Friday, when we drove to Merrylands West together with our daughter Monika, Peter had to drive through pouring rain. On top of it there was for a short distance a bit of fog. Despite his deteriorating eye-sight, Peter managed the driving through rain and fog surprisingly well. But night-time driving he tries to avoid these days. We hardly ever go out at night-time anymore.
It practically rained all day on Friday. Still, we managed to do whatever we had to do on Friday. Yesterday, Monday, we were lucky: It didn’t rain at all.
Over the weekend we had lovely visitors: Saturday afternoon one of our grandsons did bring his family along. Baby Lucas has grown a real lot. On Sunday our youngest daughter came by train from Sydney and spent the day with us. She came on her own because Matthew had to work. We hadn’t seen them yet since they had arrived back from their holiday trip to Singapore. Caroline showed us heaps of photos they took during their one week stay in Singapore. The pictures showed us that they must have had a really good time.
Tomorrow, Wednesday, we’re off by train to the inner city of Sydney to meet a friend and to see our dentist in the afternoon.
David’s brothers and nephew did a great job carting the more bulky pieces away to the rubbish tip. They had to do this several times. On Sunday David’s sisters did go to the house as well clearing heaps of stuff away. Monika, Peter and I had our hands full too for a lot of the time on that Friday. A friend of Gaby’s turned up in the afternoon. He’s a very cheerful fellow. All of us had a good time resonating about past memories of the house with Gaby and friends.
Our visitors on the following day: 2nd March. Autumn had arrived with cooler weather.Ebony and Ryan looking at their son.7 months old Lucas with Peter, his great-granddadThis grows at the back of our house. Birds love it!
Opening the house on Monday, 4th March.
The back of the houseDoor to the garageInside the garageGarage DoorAt the back of the houseLooking out through the kitchen window
Gaby’s shower
Second toilet in laundrySomething more has to fit into the car.Ready to leaveLunch at Central ParkHe’s looking for something to eat
Here in Australia a house in a complex of free standing houses is called a villa. Gaby and David lived in such a villa for twenty-three years. Gaby and David each had their own bedroom plus a spare bedroom which visitors could make use of. In the early days Peter and I would sometimes stay overnight at their place. Later on this was not possible any more, because the room was being used very much as a store-room.
The whole complex of houses belongs to the Department of Housing. Gaby and David each paid some rent rent for it which was minimal. During the last year of Gaby’s life there had been talk by the Department that Gaby should be given another place because her place needed some major renovations. They offered a new place suitable for wheelchairs could be built for her. Several locations close by had already been considered. But it didn’t come yet to the actual planning stage. Gaby was just living in hope all the time that one day she could move to another brand new place. Only the question was, what would happen to David? Lots of people had been of the opinion for a long time that David actually needed nursing care himself. However I think David was a bit stubborn and didn’t want to hear of any changes.
Another serious problem was who would be willing to move in with Gaby as her constant in house carer? Gaby was in such a condition that she could not be left by herself in the house when she was asleep during the night. In an emergency she would be very helpless. There should be someone in the house she could call if she needed help. For a few hours in the morning as well as for a brief time in the afternoon and before going to bed Gaby would always have two outside carers who looked after all her personal needs. There always needed to be two because even with a hoist Gaby was difficult to be lifted and placed into her wheelchair. Gaby had also a cleaner coming in once a week and a cook at night-time. When David was still fit enough, he could do the house-work for her and he could take her out to different places. But these days were long gone. David’s health had deteriorated enormously over the years.
All of Gaby’s problems were resolved, when she ‘kicked the bucket’, I think the expression is, last year in July. David insisted on staying in the house on his own. How he managed to do this is a bit of a miracle. His problems were resolved too, when he collapsed around Christmastime unable to move. But he was able to call out and a neighbour heard him. He was admitted to hospital straight away. A few weeks later one of his legs had to be amputated below the knee. In the meantime he was placed in a nursing home. He seems to be feeling o.k. there. Maybe it finally dawned on him that he really cannot live on his own any more.
Two of his brothers and the son of one of the brothers of David turned up yesterday to clean out the villa. Peter, one of our daughters and I we helped with the discarding of things as well. But we could not finish it off yesterday. On Monday Peter and I are going back to help with what is left to be disposed.
As I probably mentioned in one of my earlier posts the family of my father was a rather large family. My father had five siblings! His younger sister Elisabeth was about the same age as my mother. My mother and father had three children, Elisabeth and her husband Alfred had also three children. We children were similar in age. I was born in 1934, our cousin Horst six months later in 1935; my brother Bodo was born in 1938 and our cousin Karin one year later in 1939; my brother Peter Uwe was born in 1941 and our cousin Udo one year later in 1942.
This means Cousin Udo is the one who turned 70 in September 2012. Peter Uwe and his wife Astrid had told me they were going to drive to the Stuttgart area in time to be there for Udo’s birthday celebrations. And they invited me to come along with them. It would give me a chance to meet up with a lot of our grandfather’s descendants, who would all come to celebrate Udo’s birthday. This was the time when our cousin Renate (our mother’s niece) had just had a severe stroke and it looked bad. Renate’s daughter sent me emails and kept me up-to-date about Renate’s condition. I had the feeling, in case that Renate should die, I should aim at going to her funeral rather than travelling with Peter Uwe and Astrid all the way to Stuttgart. Then I did get the news that Renate had died in a hospital in Munich. She was to be cremated in Munich a few days later when there was to be an urn-burial near where she had lived.
I blogged about it how Peter and I travelled by train to Munich. This meant I could not travel with Peter Uwe and Astrid. They were not very happy about this, because they had already booked accommodation for the three of us. Anyhow, what has all this to do with Saturday, the 10th November 2012? Well, at the time we were still staying with Peter Uwe and Astrid att their house in Mecklenburg/Vorpommern. On this Saturday they suggested we could all travel to Stralsund to meet Uwe, our cousin’s son, as well as his family.
Of course Astrid and Peter Uwe had met the whole family at Udo’s birthday party. Uwe has a wife (I forgot her name now) and four lovely children. To have as many as four children is nowadays rather unusual for a German family in Germany. But anyhow we met them all at their family home in Stralsund. I was very impressed what a lovely well organised family they were. We arrived at lunchtime and they invited us for lunch. Astrid had baked an apple-cake and had mentioned on the phone that she would bring it along. On the way to Stralsund we stopped at a super-market to buy a few sweets for the children and flowers for the lady of the house. Some of the children helped to set the table. They had a huge table in a huge living-room area. Their apartment had very high ceilings and I think about five bedrooms. They lived in a building which was maybe one hundred years old but wonderfully restored and looked as good as new.
The apple-cake was served as a desert with coffee. Uwe had an appointment after lunch and had to rush off. But during lunch we had a really good conversation with the whole family. All the children participated in the conversation too, which impressed me very much. The way the conversation went reminded me a bit about my grandfather in Lodz. I found Uwe was as good a talker as Grandfather had been. And he would draw everyone into the conversation as well. I really enjoyed observing this family and how they related to each other. Alas, we could stay with them only for a very short time. We pointed out that we were about to explore Stralsund a little bit. They gave us good advice, where to go and what would be of interest to see.
Stralsund is situated at the Baltic Sea. Peter took some harbour pictures and some pictures of the beautifully restored buildings in the midst of town. I took some pictures too, but they got lost when my computer crashed. Nobody thought of taking any photos of this lovely family we had been visiting. This I regret very much. But my pictures got lost anyway. There are quite a few pictures that Peter took and I am going to publish them in my next blog.
David’s brother let Peter know that David is in hospital. We went to see him there two weeks ago on Sunday. We traveled by train to Westmead station. From there we walked to Westmead Hospital. We found David in good spirits. He looked much healthier than we had seen him before. We talked for about an hour. He called us ‘Papa’ and ‘Mama’. He showed us his leg where it had been amputated. He said he was going to get physio so he would be able to walk better. In a few weeks he was to go back home.
In the meantime the brother sent another message that David was to be sent to a nursing home. So the villa where Gaby and David had lived for the past twenty-three years had to be vacated. We were asked would we perhaps want anything out of the villa that had belonged to Gaby? We said, we would go up to the place on a day when David’s family was to be there too.
We were glad we left the car at home.
This was our way back to the station.
We didn’t take any photos inside the hospital. But David was in a pleasant ward, I think it was on the seventh floor. He had a room all to himself! He was listening to his radio which a neighbor had brought in for him. He had just had his lunch and someone came in to pick up his lunch-tray. He said he didn’t smoke any more and this was going to save him a lot of money. We were very happy David felt so much better after having had good medical care in hospital for several weeks.
Today Frances arrived for the last part of the interview.
All went well. Now we have to wait for just a few weeks before we’ll be sent the finished disks. Not that I’m looking forward to listening to my recorded voice! Thanks to all the encouragement I have been given by Frances, I survived the interviews. But I’m glad it’s over now. Talking to Frances was great. I very much liked our conversations. It was just a bit difficult at times knowing what I said was being recorded. Still it was overall a good, enjoyable experience. Frances always tried to put me at ease before the recordings and helped me along by asking relevant questions.
I was able to go to the pool yesterday. The water was wonderful. Did do me a lot of good. I hope I can soon go there again. I was told, tomorrow, Friday, another school carnival will be going on. However for next week no further carnivals are scheduled.
AuntyUta 