Morning Walk with Irene

Today I happened to read what I published nearly two years ago about feeling hot after my morning walk with Irene. Apparently feeling hot like this reminded me of a character in one of Lily Brett’s books. Here is what I wrote about it:

 

You gotta have Balls’

“This is the title of a book by Lily Brett. This very funny novel was first published in Australia in 2005. One character in the book is a buxom sixty-something woman who came from Poland to New York and loves to cook meat-balls. She tends to feel hot while she’s doing the cooking. This is why she stands in her kitchen in her beautiful, elegant bra with just an apron on top of it.

After my morning walk I felt hot again and had to strip down to my bra. I helped hubby in the kitchen with the breakfast dishes and didn’t even wear an apron on top of it! When I do this sort of thing, I’m always reminded of that buxom woman in the book.

Lily Brett is an Australian writer and lives with her Australian painter husband, David Rankin, in New York.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thoughts on writing Memoirs

When writing memoirs I may have to consider the feelings of certain living relatives. I feel with some memories it may be a good idea to fictionalize a bit, for instance, change names and perhaps places and dates. But on the other hand this may be a bit confusing for my descendants if they want to find out about the life of their actual forbears.

I am also in doubt how much I am allowed to tell about my friends or about people who briefly crossed my path. I went as far as changing names slightly of people I remember from the 1940s! This concerns of course my childhood memories. When I reblogged some of these memories I reconsidered and changed my friends’ names back to their real names.

In reading once more some of my old blogs, I kept coming across the name ‘Aunty Elsa’. Well, ‘Elsa’ was really ‘Ilse’. It’s only an insignificant alteration of the name. I guess anybody who would seriously study our family history later on would be able to figure out who this aunt was.

If it comes to surnames it gets even more difficult. There are some rather unusual surnames belonging to the people from the past that I am writing about. I must say I am a bit reluctant to disclose all these surnames.

However if it comes to my family tree I feel it is quite all right to mention all the proper surnames. From this follows that it is really okay to use all the relevant first names too, doesn’t it? I have to remember this next time I publish a bit more family history!

Australian Beaches

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Ryan with Lucas at Stanwell Park Beach on Saturday, 24th August 2013

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These pictures with little Lucas were taken by Ebony, the mum of Lucas, and I got them from Facebook. Credit for these pictures goes to Ebony.

Monika, grandmother of little Lucas, had her first birthday on the 5th December 1959.

This picture was taken on the 5th December 1959
This picture was taken on the 5th December 1959

The following pictures were all taken on Christmas Day 1959.

Birgit, a friend of the girls, with Gaby and Monika at Fairy Meadow Beach. Christmas 1959
Birgit, a friend of the girls, with Gaby and Monika at Fairy Meadow Beach.
Christmas 1959
Uta with Gaby Fairy Meadow Beach Christmas 1959
Uta with Gaby
Fairy Meadow Beach Christmas 1959
Peter with Monika and Gaby,  Christmas 1959
Peter with Monika and Gaby, Christmas 1959
Uta with Monika at Fairy Meadow Beach
Uta with Monika at Fairy Meadow Beach
This picture of Monika is from February 1960
This picture of Monika is from February 1960

Recollections

Some bloggers may not want to read any more about the lives of Gaby and David.  However I am still at this stage where I keep thinking about it a lot. Recently I wrote two long replies to comments from ‘Words fall from my Eyes’ and ‘Island Traveler’. Just for recollection I want to publish these two replies here. They only touch on the lives of Gaby and David. But anyhow here is what I wrote:

Wow, Noeleen, there’s so much to remember. Both had kind, big hearts. But Gaby was very demanding. It did get too much for David over the years. He just wanted to be left alone. He led a very unhealthy life over many years and often drove Gaby’s carers round the bend with little bursts of energy, screaming, yelling. this sort of thing. But most of the time he would stay semi conscious in his room. A nursing sister who would come to see him after he had been in hospital for a while he would chase away. He would not visit his siblings any more. They just could not cope with him. The only person who could always cope best with him was his long time friend Steve. But even he could not do much for him after Gaby had died and it was apparent David could not cope on his own. However he strictly refused to make any changes in his living arrangements. until he collapsed last Christmas. Sheila, his neighbour, noticed and called an ambulance.

It’s very sad when someone ends like this. But I think he went peacefully. And this is a comfort. We do remember a lot of good things about David. He was the only person who would take on the challenging task of taking on a life together with Gaby, and he did so out of his big good heart. He stuck with Gaby right to the end. I think he had the feeling that he could not desert her. Yes, great honour to him! Dear, dear David and wonderful life loving and caring Gaby!

—–

You are right, IT. It was quite amazing how Gaby always tried to be there for David. It must have been very difficult for her at times. Everyone kept telling her that David was too sick to stay at her place. He should be in a nursing home where he’d be given proper care. When Gaby died last year David refused to move to a different place. Any attempts by his siblings to help him were in vain. David just did not want to be helped!
For as long as Gaby was alive, the house got cleaned by Gaby’s carers. The carers often had a hard time when David was in a bad mood. If something displeased him, he would shout at them. We often wondered how Gaby and the carers could cope with all this.

The last few months of his life David received very good care in  Parramatta Nursing Home.. He was not allowed alcohol; and cigarettes he could afford only very few and had to smoke them in some outside area, wheeling himself out there a few times every day. He could not eat very well any more. It turned out there was something wrong with his gall bladder apart from many other things. But he was not an angry man any more. He didn’t give the staff any trouble. I think they liked looking after him.

For years David had always told me: Don’t worry, Mama! I could not make him change his mind about anything. 

The youngest brother of David, Anthony, took very good care of David after he collapsed last Christmas and ended up in hospital again. During the two months in hospital they had to amputate his left leg below the knee. After this he spent the last months of his life  in Parramatta Nursing Home. It’s good to know that he did get proper care there and was able to die peacefully.

– – – – –

Gabriele (Gaby) was Peter’s and my first born daughter, an extremely lively child who was struck down by poliomyelitis on her fourth birthday. She ended up being a quadriplegic. She also had breathing difficulties and needed to sleep in an Iron Lung. Towards the end of 1989, when Gaby was 32 and David 40, they moved in together into a house provided by the Department of Housing. David became Gaby’s main carer at this stage. But David was never Gaby’s only carer. At that stage Gaby was always provided extra outside help. And when David needed a break, there was always one carer who could sleep in Gaby’s house overnight so she wouldn’t be alone in the house. When we were much younger  Peter and I would sometimes stay together with our youngest daughter Caroline in the house for a few nights so that David could have a break. When David was supposed to go on holidays for five nights, he often would return already after three nights. That would then mean we, Peter, myself, and Caroline, would be able to drive back home after three nights already.

Well, this is just a bit about the lives of Gaby and David.

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Peter and David in an outside area of the Nursing Home
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David was allowed to have his lunch outside. But he hardly touched it.
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David gave me this Mother’s Day gift on the day Peter and I visited him. He said he had bought raffle tickets to win this to give it to me. I was very touched by this.

Here is ow another recollection I want to add:

With some departed loved ones you get the feeling that it was time for them to leave. You are grateful for the times they could be in your lives. But when the time runs out you have to accept that they really want to be somewhere else. In my family’s case I think they are at peace and with God, which is a great comfort. I am very touched by what both families did to give them the last rest. Both our daughter Gaby and her long time carer David led rather difficult lives. But there were times when they could greatly enjoy each other. And Gaby was always very life confirming and always found ways overcoming some of her disabilities. Last year Gaby died rather suddenly but knowing her disabilities not all that unexpectedly. She died when she was the most happy. David survived her by a bit over a year even though he had been in extremely bad health for many years. David’s family gave him a very good funeral and I was very touched by this.
When our daughter died so suddenly last year it was our family who put together to give her a good parting. Sadly David had neglected to inform his family. So they weren’t part of the celebration of Gaby’s life. Yes, I feel very sad about this. We shouldn’t have left it up to David to inform them. Somehow we thought because he had informed us about Gaby’s passing he would be able to ring someone in his family too. But he didn’t.
Last Mondays celebration of David’s life somehow made up for it now. We were able to talk to David’s four brothers and three sisters.

Thanksgiving for the Life of David

There was a Prayer Service this morning at Mary Mother of Mercy Chapel, at Sydney’s Rookwood Cemetery, a Service of Thanksgiving for the Life of David.

David’s four brothers (two from Sydney, one from Tasmania and one from Melbourne) as well as his three sisters (the sister all from the Sydney area) had come. So we were able to meet all of them. David had been the eldest in the family. The youngest one, Anthony, had been looking after David’s affairs while David was in nursing home care during the last months of his life. He probably saw to most of the funeral arrangements too.

Our two daughters, Monika and Caroline, came with us to the service at Rookwood Cemetery. These funeral services get people together. A lot of these people we would otherwise never have met. Extended family members, neighbours and friends had come too. David had such a great family. Now that David is gone, it feels to us that maybe we won’t meet any of his family again.

Both Gaby and David were of course always part of our family life. However, as David’s health suffered more and more, he often did not come to our family gatherings any more. Gaby had known David for more than 30 years! Their lives were often quite turbulent. Now, I am sure, they are at peace.

We are never going to forget how David made it possible for Gaby to live an independent life in her own home. It takes a strong character to take on the responsibility to look after a severely disabled person as our daughter Gaby was. The strange thing is, that towards the end when David frequently had to stay in hospital because of disabling sicknesses, it was Gaby who more or less looked after him! She would visit him every day in hospital, taking her companion dog along too for the hospital visits. David loved this dog.

How did she do it, you may ask. Well, she was just a very resourceful person. Despite all her disabilities she was always full of life and did whatever was possible for her to do. She was a great talker. whereas David never talked much about his feelings. He would sometimes scream and shout when people tried telling him what to do. When I would say: David, you should go and see a doctor. He would just say: Mama, you worry too much!

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From the car I watch Peter and Caroline how they try to find out the right way to the chapel.
From the car I watch Peter and Caroline how they try to find out the right way to the chapel.

It’s such a huge cemetery, you can really get lost.

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Now Monik.a joins them in trying to find out the right way
Now Monika joins them in trying to find out the right way

 

In the end we made it to the desired chapel right on time.

 

 

President Obama in Berlin

This is an article in the German magazine DER SPIEGEL , Wednesday, 19th June 2013:

 

Fifty years after John F. Kennedy’s legendary Berlin visit, Barack Obama wowed the city with a rousing speech at the Brandenburg Gate, saying all oppressed people are “citizens of Berlin” — and urging the world to help free them.

Not even the unseasonably hot summer haze could damper the enthusiasm as crowd members clutching fluttering German and American flags filed into Berlin’s Pariser Platz on Wednesday. It’s here, on the east side of the Brandenburg Gate, where President Barack Obama was to make his first public speech in the German capital city as the leader of the United States.

 

“The flag-lined square was flanked with secret service and police, who perched on the roofs of buildings and weaved in and out of the some 4,000 invited audience members braving the glaring sunlight. In the crowd, there was an almost American vibe, with copious brimmed hats, women lithely fanning themselves and men in short-sleeved button-ups and suspenders. One bleacher, holding some 600 high school-age students of the local John F. Kennedy international school, showed particular ardor by chanting “Obama” in unison and doing the wave as the 3 p.m. start time neared.

A violinist warmed up the crowd, beginning with a vaguely celtic version of the American national anthem and then segueing into Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal” over a backing track. He announced that his next song was at the president’s request. “It’s Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Born in America,'” he said before breaking into a rendition of “Born in the USA.”

Finally Obama took the stage, together with German Chancellor Angela Merkel and Berlin’s mayor, Klaus Wowereit.

After brief comments by the mayor and the chancellor, Obama approached the microphone. It’s been pointed out that Merkel and Obama have very different public personas, and this couldn’t have been clearer than in the contrast between the chancellor’s somewhat subdued introduction and the president’s booming “Hello, Berlin!,” which was met with thunderous applause.

Yet Obama was quick to point out a similarity between the two leaders: “Angela and I don’t exactly look like previous German and American leaders,” he said after thanking the first female chancellor for her friendship. He then removed his jacket, citing the weather. “We can be a little more informal among friends,” he quipped to cheers from the crowd.

‘Ich Bin ein Berliner’

As expected, President Obama, who gave his speech behind dramatic panes of bulletproof glass as sweat dripped down his forehead, made heavy reference to Kennedy’s iconic 1963 Berlin speech. He recalled the former US president’s historic sound bite before asking the audience to look past it.

“That’s not all that he said that day,” he said. “Less remembered is the challenge that he issued to the crowd before him: ‘Let me ask you,’ he said to those Berliners, ‘let me ask you to lift your eyes beyond the dangers of today’ and ‘beyond the freedom of merely this city.’ Look, he said, ‘to the day of peace with justice, beyond yourselves and ourselves to all mankind.'”

Obama went on to apply Kennedy’s notion of “peace with justice” to the contemporary world. He referenced poverty and the mass unemployment that has followed the global debt crisis, and touched on race, religion and gender discrimination, specifically mentioning equality of sexual orientation less than two weeks after a German court ordered that same-sex partnerships be given the same tax benefits as married couples.

“And if we lift our eyes, as President Kennedy called us to do, then we’ll recognize that our work is not yet done,” Obama continued. “For we are not only citizens of America or Germany — we are also citizens of the world. And our fates and fortunes are linked like never before.”

Obama then discussed — albeit vaguely — on the NSA spying scandal, the closing of Guantanamo Bay and the American drone program. He was more concrete on the subject of nuclear disarmament, which he pledged to tackle in the coming years in cooperation with Russia. But the parallels between the issues of today and the history of Berlin, in particular, seemed to go over well with the crowd, which remained in good spirits despite the unrelenting heat.

‘It Felt Like They Were Standoffish’

I really liked how he tied in the history of Berlin with current issues,” said Esther Stern, a 16-year-old from Braunschweig who had come to Berlin with a group from her high school. “In spite of the heat, it was great! He’s a very good speaker — different than when you see him on TV,” she continued.

Some were slightly more critical, however, like Will Giles, a 20-year-old political science student in Berlin on a semester abroad from Duke University in the US. “It was interesting to observe the Merkel-Obama dynamic,” said Giles. “You can tell by body language what people really think of each other, and it felt like they were kind of standoffish.”

At the bleacher of local international students, however, the take-away was undoubtedly positive.

 

“It was definitely worth the six hours of waiting and boiling,” said 14-year-old Emma Defty, standing in a rare shady spot as her fellow students filed out behind her. “It was also great that he talked about Kennedy, because he and Kennedy are a lot alike I think. They’re on the younger side and they really speak to the public. They seem somehow… human.””I think he really earned sympathy points when he took off his jacket,” added her friend Elisabeth Evans, 13. “It’s like we’re all friends!”

“And I liked that he talked about global warming,” Defty said. “Yeah,” Evans rejoined, “because it never gets this hot!”

 

 

The Twin’s Birthday this Month

Twin's Birthday 2011

And this is Ryan with Grandma
And this is Ryan with Grandma

These pictures were taken on the twins birthday in June of 2011.

Two months ago I published the above pics and in one reply to a comment I said these grandsons looked like little angels when they were kids. And Munira said that she can’t imagine them as kids. Ha, ha! So I replied:

“All right, Munira, as soon as I can scan pics again, I’ll show you how they looked when they were little! The twin’s birthday pics were taken just a few days before I started blogging. My profile pic that I still use, was cropped from that birthday pic where you can see me with Troy.”

Well, their birthday is coming up next week. So here I am publishing what they looked like as kids.
I went through all our photo albums this morning and unfortunately I could not find this special picture of the twins where they really look like little angels.

It’s very frustrating after looking for hours for one particular picture it still is nowhere to be found!
We just have too many pictures. Well, the pictures of the twins that I can publish today are all more than thirty years old or at least close to thirty years. The twins are going to be thirty-four years old in one week. When they were kids they were often together with our daughter Caroline. So Caroline is in these pictures here too. The boys loved to call her “aunty Caroline” just for fun. But she really is their aunty. Unbelievable! Sometimes people thought the three of them were triplets. However we had to explain then that Caroline is more than six months older.

T one

T three

T four

T five

An Anniversary and lots of Birthdays

9th June 2013
9th June 2013

Last Sunday, the 9th of June, happened to be my brother Bodo’s birthday. He turned seventy-five. For a few months now he has been  in an aged care home in Berlin. Peter happened to take this picture of me hugging the tree. I can’t recall having thought of my  brother’s birthday  at this instant.

Here's the tree I hugged yesterday. I hope nobody is going to cut it down!

Last Sunday when I uploaded this picture I remembered the other photo Peter had taken of me hugging a tree. I looked it up and I was surprised to find that the other picture had been taken on my birthday, the 21st September 2012, when we were on holidays in Berlin.

I don’t think I have any other pictures of me hugging a tree. Just these two. One taken on my birthday, the other a few months later on my brother’s birthday. As far as I’m concerned this is totally coincidental, but still quite remarkable!

Just for good measure here is the other tree hugging picture again which was taken on my last birthday..
Just for good measure here is the other tree hugging picture again which was taken on my last birthday, 21.September 2012

This month some more birthdays are coming up of some of my grandchildren, there are also quite a few birthdays in the family coming up next month. In July is also going to be the anniversary of the death of our eldest daughter, Gabriele.