Auntie, Sister. Grandmother, Great-Grandmother,
Mother and Wife of German Descent
I've lived in Australia since 1959 together with my husband Peter. We have four children, eight grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. I started blogging because I wanted to publish some of my childhood memories. I am blogging now also some of my other memories. I like to publish some photos too as well as a little bit of a diary from the present time. Occasionally I publish a story with a bit of fiction in it. Peter, my husband, is publishing some of his stories under berlioz1935.wordpress.com
I publish here at the top a link to Berlioz. He wrote about ‘the Fourteenth Day’, meaning the day when Peter or I or both of us went on our three hour trip to Merrylands to help our daughter Gaby with her shopping. Occasionally we would travel by car, which cut our traveling time by half.
Gaby moved to Merrylands West in 1989. Before this she had stayed for a number of years in Ferguson Lodge in Lidcombe where we would also visit her quite regularly. When Gaby contracted P0lio in 1961, she was admitted to Wollongong Hospital and soon after to Prince Henry Hospital, Little Bay, Sydney, where she stayed for six and a half years. In the beginning one of us or the whole family, which included two small children, would visit Gaby in PHH twice a week. When Gaby was ten and a half, we were able to take her home to our two bedroom cottage. To give us a break and for regular check-ups Gaby was admitted to PHH every so often without any cost to us. The Hospital Contribution Fund always paid for every hospital stay. There was also a school attached to the hospital for children who had to stay in hospital long term.
When Gaby had just turned seventeen, a very helpful social worker saw to it that we should get some relief from looking after Gaby. Actually Gaby stayed then in our area for another four and a half years until a place was found for her in Ferguson Lodge.
Looking back now over the years we really have been traveling to Sydney quite a lot in connection with Gaby. In the past we often traveled by car. But now that we are pensioners we can travel to Sydney and back on the train for $ 2,50. This is not comparable to what it costs to travel this distance by car! It just takes a lot longer to travel from the Illawarra to the Western Suburbs of Sydney by train because all trains go to the center of Sydney before it’s possible to travel out West. By car the route across is half the distance!
Occasionally Gaby had been able to travel by taxi to our place or her sister’s place. Gaby was always keen to stay in touch with family.
Last year Gaby had been at her sister’s for Christmas celebrations and before this for a 50th birthday party bash. This coming week is another birthday party bash at the same place, this time a 21st birthday party. Sadly Gaby won’t make to this one. Had she still been alive she wouldn’t have missed it for anything!
Lucas, born in the early hours of Wednesday, 18th July 2012.
This is Lucas, one week oldThe parents of Lucas on the day of his birth in Wollongong HospitalGreat Grandma Uta with LucasGreat Grandparents, Uta and Peter with Baby LucasThree aunts of Lucas stayed with him for hours in the hospital room.Ebony, the Mum, likes the attention her baby son is gettingHappy faces all aroundGreat-Aunt Caroline with the babyGrandma Monika and the three Aunties had been staying already for about an hour with the proud parents and the Baby when Caroline, Peter and I arrived. They stayed for another hour or so after we left!A week later we saw Ebony at her home. Caroline holds Lucas with Ebony looking on.Caroline took this picture
Following Gaby’s passing on Sunday, 15th July 2012, there was a viewing on Monday, 23rd July, for family and friends. We were able to take photos at the viewing.
The funeral service took place on Tuesday, 24th July, 12,30 pm, at
ROOKWOOD GARDENS CREMATORIUM, SOUTH CHAPEL.
The officiating celebrant was Michael Bourke. Michael lives in our area and came to visit us on Saturday, 21st July, to discuss with us the order of service.
Bernie, our funeral director in Sydney, organized the viewing at the funeral parlor. Daughter Caroline and Matthew had made first contacts with Bernie. Caroline took time off work that week, Matthew went back to work and also filled in for Caroline a bit. Son Martin took time off work too. He arrived from Melbourne in a hired car late on Wednesday, 18th July.
Martin drove daughters Caroline and Monika as well as Peter and myself to the funeral directors in Sydney on Thursday, 19th July, to make arrangements for the funeral. (Monika had taken time off work too.) Peter had that same day an appointment with an officer at Merrylands police station. After the consultation with Bernie for all the funeral arrangements we were on our way to Merrylands. The traffic turned out to be extremely slow moving because of an incident. So we were late getting to Merrylands. The police were very understanding. The interview with the police took about two hours. They wanted to know a lot about Gaby’s life.
By the way, on the day of Gaby’s departure Caroline and Matthew had driven us first to Merrylands West to Gaby’s house where we had a chance to talk to all the distressed carers including David. Later in the day Matthew drove us to Glebe. He had arranged that we could view Gaby’s body there at the morgue. The visit was very good for us. It gave us a chance to say properly good-bye to Gaby. A very understanding woman greeted us very respectfully. She made arrangements with Caroline to talk to her on the phone on our behalf whenever we had any questions. Caroline stayed with us at our place and was constantly doing all the necessary phone-calls for us. It was such a relief for us that she could do this. She was great in handling all the calls.
On Sunday, the 15th, when we were at Gaby’s house for an hour or so, we took some of Gaby’s photo albums along and also her computer, her digital camera and her mobile phone. The following day the police asked Peter to bring all these electronic items of Gaby’s to the next police station. At present these items are still in the hands of the police for further checking and investigation.
Early on Wednesday morning, 18th July, Ryan and Ebony had a baby boy. They called him Lucas. Ryan is one of Monika’s twins. So Monika is now a grandma. And Peter and I are great grandparents again! Our son Martin has already two grandchildren. So the family is growing. Caroline drove Peter and me to Wollongong hospital to see the new born baby boy. He was surrounded by his Mum and Dad and a number of aunties. We were all allowed to hold him. The baby was most of the time asleep and didn’t mind at all being passed from one to the other. It was a very joyous experience for all of us.
The shirt on Gaby’s coffin is signed by all the ‘Eels’, the Parramatta Rugby players.Peter and I with all our children on the day of the viewing
Uta and DavidCaroline
Peter and Uta with some of the carers
Martin at the viewing
Bernie at the funeral directors’ office
Bernie gave us ample time for the viewing. It started at 3 PM and we were allowed to stay there till 6 PM. People could help themselves to cups of tea. There were also some chocolates on offer.
I took a photo of the chocolates because they reminded Monika of some chocolates Gaby used to have when they were children
From 11,30 on people arrived at Rookwood Memorial Gardens on the day of the funeral service. The Pall Bearers were our son Martin, Monika’s partner Mark, Monika’s twins, Troy and Ryan, Carolines’s partner Matthew and Gaby’s friend Steve. Welcome by Michael Bourke, Celebrant: Tributes by Peter, Soloist Elice Craig, and a choir of carers and friends singing Amazing Grace. Next a Photographic tribute with images of Gaby: Her life, her family, her friends.
Prayers: One Hail Mary. Verse: Michael Bourke and Committal.
The South Chapel of Roodwood Gardens Crematorium
Four of the Pall BearersCaroline and Michael BourkeSteve had brought Dave to the service. Dave decided he didn’t want to go inside. He preferred to stay in the car.
After the service the celebrations of Gaby’s life were to continue at Parramatta Leagues Club. We stayed there for a while for drinks and to talk to people. Some nice pizza was available too.
Entrance to Parramatta Leagues ClubMiriam with an ‘Eels’ Shawl. Miriam used to be Gaby’s cook.Still want to include this picture of Gaby’s coffin inside the South ChapelMonika looked after ‘Honey’ and took her inside the chapel for the service.This is when the funeral car arrived at the Crematorium
Caroline, with some input from Matthew, did a tremendous amount of work in assembling the photos for the photographic tribute. She also organized the printing of the cards for the funeral service. Caroline stayed with Peter and me from the 15th of July until the day of the funeral. Martin stayed with us for one whole week too, and for part of the time Matthew stayed also with us. Recently Caroline stayed with us once more for a few days to sort out things and to give us some support. We’ve been driving with Caroline to some beautiful places here in our area. A lot of these places remind us of Gaby, of course. In our home we constantly find things that remind us of Gaby. Gaby had been a very demanding person, but also very loving and caring. She made sure that we’ll never forget her.
Today I selected a few photos to give to David when we next see him. Before I inserted the photos in a little photo album, I scanned them all. I want now to share these photos with my blogger friends. David did get to know Gaby while she lived in Ferguson Lodge which is a place for disabled people in a wheelchair. In this place people were well looked after. However it was institutionalized care. Gaby was very happy when in 1989 David made it possible for her to move into her own home. She was 32 at the time and Davidwas 40.
The picture of Peter holding baby Caroline was taken ca. March 1979, visiting Gaby at Ferguson Lodge with friend Ron Bates.
Next to Gaby is David’s father, on the left David’s mother, on the right friend Coral
Gaby has a birthday cake in front of her, David is on the right, David’s mother left
David and Gaby
ca. 1973 when Gaby still lived with us: Mum, Dad, brother Martin, sister Monika
David and Gaby came to visit for Christmas celebrations. David is Father Christmas and Caroline, who just turned 6, and the twins (5 1/2) have fun. Behind Gaby is Monika, the twins’ Mum.
Peter and I just had breakfast. I had made scrambled eggs with salt and some parsley.
I added to my eggs extra spices: Curry powder, ground nutmeg, Hungarian sweet paprika and chives.
We’re awaiting our daughter Monika’s call. She offered to go with us to Gaby’s house. We have to work out which day she can make it. She might have to take a day off work again. David is still in the house but feeling very depressed. His life is very disrupted now. What can anyone do for him?
There are still some things in Gaby’s house that our daughters Monika and Caroline would like to have. The hundreds of Gaby’s photos are at our house at present and need to be sorted out at some stage. We promised Dave he could have some of the photos.
A few weeks ago I gave up walking with Irene. I just couldn’t walk as fast as she any more. I felt I was holding her back. In the meantime Peter offered to walk with me at my own pace. We’ve done this now a few times in the morning soon after breakfast. This morning we were lucky: The sun came out. We saw everything in this wonderful light. Peter took the above pictures this morning. They show parts of our walk. Later on he snatched a photo of me catching some sun at the front of out house. Since our place is at the back of the complex we feel pretty private sitting in front of the house. In winter we often have our morning tea there to catch the beautiful warm sunshine. Here in Australia we’re still in the midst of winter!
Men and women are different. So be it. John Gray puts it this way: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I read this particular book of his in the 1990s. Looking at it today, it probably still makes quite a bit of sense to me. He calls his book:
“A PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR IMPROVING COMMUNICATION AND GETTING WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP”
I just picked at random one page, and the following statement caught my eye:
“Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed . . .
Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.”
I remember in the 1990s, after my mother’s death was still fresh on my mind, I felt there was not much communication between Peter and myself. Peter must have felt a bit like this too. One day, when he had to see his doctor for some reason, I think he mentioned something about difficulties in the marriage relationship. What did the doctor say? He urged Peter to buy me flowers.
Peter then told me, he would definitely not buy me any flowers. Maybe to him it didn’t look as though I should be rewarded with flowers! I didn’t complain. But it took a while before he finally bought me flowers. He still loves to buy be flowers on special occasions and sometimes on the spur of the moment.
I used to often cut out articles from the Sydney Morning Herald. Two of these newspaper cuttings I found in the above mentioned book. Both of them are from 1998. I still find both articles a very good read. I thought maybe some bloggers would also like to read these relationship articles from the 1990s. So I scanned them.
Larry Beinhart said in 1998 that Bill and Hillary are an enviable match. Do you agree and does it still apply?
Helen Trinca wrote in 1998 what a mutually beneficial partnership is. Do you agree with her?
AuntyUta 