Thursday Diary continued

This friendly man on the phone, sounded very human, and he had such a pleasant voice! When I found out that I had the wrong date, I could not help myself, I had to laugh about it. This is true, I very much laughed about my blunder!
After this refreshing phone conversation I had yesterday a very rainy but extremely enjoyable day all by myself!

So, then today was Thursday and Olivia came right on time. She rang Hammond Care and asked for permission to take me to the Dapo Shopping Centre, where I had no problem paying my bill at the Post Office.

Then Olivia and I had a very good coffee sitting down at the Shed cafe. I was in a talkative mood and told Olivia a lot about how my life is going now. And she was a good listener!

Then she helped me to do a bit of shopping. Before the two designated hours were up, Olivia took me back home and had still some time to do a bit of vaccuming. Since it had started to rain again, I was glad, that this week no washing had to be done, and that Olivia had been able to take me to the Shopping Centre instead.

Today, a bit after 1 pm, daughter Monika picked me up. She had the two little ones in the car. We were on the way to lunch at a Chinese restaurant, where Natasha was waiting for us. After lunch Natasha had to go to work, but Monika and the kids came then to my place for a little while. All in all, a very wet but very enjoyable day with good food in good company. 🙂

Thursday, early Morning

https://auntyuta.com/2021/02/23/february-diary/

This is what I wrote on the 23rd of February: “Today is Wednesday. At John’s place, Nr. 5, there is a Strata meeting this afternoon. Tomorrow, Thursday, I am going to have two hours of Hammond Care again.”

But the 23rd was actuallly Tuesday, not Wednesday. So, I did go to the Strata meeting on the 23rd, thinking that it was Wednesday already! How very stupid of me!

The following morning I waited and waited for my home help in vain. I rang Hammond care. The kind man, who answered the phone, quickly established that my home help was only due on Thursday, and so he pointed out to me very politely in a very calm, friendly voice, that it wasn’t Thursday yet!! Gee, I was so embarrassed! But it reassured me, that I was spoken to in such a friendly manner.

So, yesterday was Wednesday! I had the whole day totally to myself, which was good, I did not even go for a walk, since it was rainy all day. I just felt like staying at home for the day. But I had my meals outside under an awning protected from the rain. I did not see any neighbours around. However, in the distance I could hear a tractor, that was probably mowing the soccer fields in the light rain.

After I found out yesterday that it wasn’t Thursday yet, I took a long shower, washed my hair, and then thouroughly cleaned the grout between the tiles in the shower, which took ages . . . . I did not mind, that it took so long, for I knew I had time. I could spend the day any way I wanted . . . . ! 🙂

February Diary

It is two months now that Peter has left me. Four months ago we knew already that he would not have much longer to live. His bladder cancer had spread to the bones, and a few weeks later he was gone. . . .

Gradually I seem to cope a bit better with having to live on my own. So far, it has been ‘only’ two months that I had to live on my own most of the time. Why does that feel like such a long time? Maybe, because I know, that Peter is not coming back to me, not ever. When in the past Peter travelled to Berlin without me for a couple of months or so, he would ring me every day. So, there was still a connection, and I knew on a certain date he would arrive back home. Yes, it is very different now.

Today is Wednesday. At John’s place, Nr. 5, there is a Strata meeting this afternoon. Tomorrow, Thursday, I am going to have two hours of Hammond Care again. Last time Irina came instead of Olivia. Whoever it is tomorrow, I might ask, whether a bit of shopping could be done. Preferably I would like to go along with my carer, so we could do the shopping together. I hope, Hammond Care does allow this!

There was a lot of washing done last week. This week there is none, since I insist in doing my bit of personal washing by myself. It is mainly the large sheets I find difficult to handle. Fitting new bedsheets onto my bed gets done every week. This is a great help. And it is great too, that all the floors get cleaned for me every week.

Usually Olivia comes to do all this work for me. But a few times I had some other woman instead of Olivia. I find, they all do a good job! And they are very friendly and talk to me a bit. They all do the cleaning of the floors very, very quickly: vacuuming and mopping! Usually they have also time for a few odd jobs like taking my bins out to the kerb. When they arrive, they always ask me, whether I need any shopping done. But usually I have already been able to do lots of shopping with someone else.

Council Rates are due this week. Monika and Natasha are going to be here tomorrow, probably very early afternoon, bringing Roxy’s kids along which is always something to be looking forward to. Maybe the Council Rates can be paid at the Post Office? Or maybe Monika can find another way of paying. Also, I do have to mail a reply paid letter to the Roads and Maritime Services at Grafton, NSW, of all places! They were notified of Peter’s passing, I think by Birth, Death and Marriages. They sent a condolence letter and want Peter’s Disablility Parking Permit back since after Peter’s passing it is not anymore valid! So, I can return it in a reply paid letter.

Friday afternoon we are going to play games again. I invited Erika and Irene to my place. Barbara is still going to be in Melbourne. She left one week ago. Seems like the borders to Victoria are going to stay open now. So it wont be long now before Martin will be here for another visit! Caroline and Matthew are in Noosa, Queensland, right now. I hope they have an excellent holiday. This coming Sunday Erika and Brian are going to give me a lift to Church again. I am looking forward to this!

Yesterday, on Tuesday, I again spent a lot of time outdoors. Doing weeding, weeding, weeding, mostly in the shade, but relaxing a bit in the early morning sun and then sitting outside with a good cooked morning meal.

I did not do my usual early morning walk yesterday for I was too busy with all that weeding, and after that I needed a good rest. And there is still lots more weeding to be done! Things just grow too quickly in this beautiful late summer weather, for we have this year plenty of rain and luckily also quite a lot of sunshine! I very much enjoy this kind of weather. I don’t actually mind to do a bit of weeding here and there. That I cannot keep it in some kind of good order a lot of the time, well, that is just too bad. I do only as much as is possible, and the rest can wait for another day.

As long as I stay healthy, can still do a little bit here and there, and mostly enjoy the days that are still left to me, I am very happy! But often it is also a rather lonely existence. Being able to still write a bit, does help to overcome this feeling of loneliness when nobody else, just nobody is around me for hours on end. I guess, I just have to keep myself busy. Making some kind of use of the time that is left to me, I feel is very important. Every hour is getting more and more precious, really. For who knows, any hour can be close to the last one, even though so far I have no terminal sickness that I know of. However, my body is telling me that I am very, very old.

Everybody is always so kind to me when they see me creeping along. This kindness is a blessing. Whenever possible though, I aim at keeping some kind of independence. My rollator is a great help in this regard. I am so happy, that this is available to me. And the trolleys for doing the shopping are a blessing too. I can walk very well with just a shopping trolley to push along. Maybe I should eventually get a motorised wheelchair? Then I could use public transport again like our Gaby did! I say, Gaby was indeed a very determined quadriplegic! I often think of her how she managed her life . . . .

Easter is not far off. Maybe I can spend Easter in Benalla with son Martin. That would be good. On the other hand, seeing the great-grandkids collecting Easter eggs, would be fun too. Still, I would not be surprised, when the grandchildren would take their kids away on some holidays. They always like to do a bit of travelling when there is a chance for some holidays away from home. And why not? Peter and I always enjoyed a bit of travelling too. These were the days . . . .

Diary

I had a wonderful busy and quite exhausting weekend. But maybe I overdid it a little bit, because yesterday, on Monday, I felt pretty crook and even vomited a bit. I slept most of the day, woke up only here and there to have something to eat. I slept right through the night, had a shower and feel very okay this morning. I’ll have some nice porridge soon. Then I’ll finish my laundry, and after that I’ll go for a walk. I am really looking forward to do some walking again!

Bloody Fence!!

This is most upsetting! Did they tell me, they’d have to access our (my) property again? No, they did not! Why could they not talk to me about it? I don’t get it what they were thinking.

Well, what I am thinking is, that I am just too emotional. If Peter were here, he would say, it is no big deal, there is no need for me to upset myself so much.

Could they have arranged for access from the back? Of course they could have! I wonder when the rest of all the cooperate back fences is being done, whether then miraculously it is going to be possible to access council property to dispose of the old wooden fence and store all the material for the new fences!

The workers who just started their work here are very friendly and promised they would not leave any rubbish behind on our (my) property. I hope they’ll be able to stick to their promise!

The bloke who did put up our back fence some 17 months ago as an insurance job after storm damage to our back fence, did a job that was just rediculous. The workers, that are here today, laughed their heads off, when they looked at it. So why did it take 17 months to try rectify this shoddy work? Well, ask the Strata managers! That this extremely crooked part of the fence had so far not been fallen down in the wind, that is absolutely astounding!

Rainy Days

On the 28th of January the following was in one of my replies:

Right now, here too it’s raining a lot: Temperature is still around 20C though. Yesterday, before the rain started, Monika came along with all of her four grandchildren (my great-grandchildren!) and we went for a walk with them to the playground at the back near the grassy soccer fields and near all the beautiful trees. The kids were full of beans. It was cloudy and not very hot.
I think last Tuesday, we had about 40C. This would not have been a good day to take the kids on such a walk.
Strangely enough, yesterday, we were the only people roaming about, walking along the footpath, then across all these grassy areas, and having fun at the playground. Very strange indeed. We had the whole place to ourselves! So, isn’t that lucky, that we had such a good time before the rain started?
From next week Lucas, 8, and Alexander, 6, are going to be back at school again.
Lucas and Alexander are the cousins of Carter, 4, and Evie (16 months). The two little ones just love to be with their ‘big’ cousins, and the older cousins love to look after the little ones!
It reminds me of my early childhood when I was so very fond of my older cousins.
Evie is already a good walker and also tries to talk a lot!

You can find my reply here: https://oosterman.wordpress.com/2021/01/28/the-mattock/

I also said:

My son, Martin, shares his dog, Millie, with his neighbour on a permanent basis. By the way, I am in luck, Martin is planning to visit me! He wants to leave Benalla on Sunday. I hope he can stay for at least a week, and I hope, that the borders wont close again. Martin is probably bringing Millie along again. I am looking forward to that!

Martin did actually come to visit! He arrived here in Dapto last Sunday, the 31st of January. Today he and Millie left early in the morning to go back to their home in Benalla. However, I am in luck again: Martin is going to be back here in about four weeks, with Millie of course! So this is then in March and they might stay for a bit over a week. And then I’ll go with them for a visit to Benalla. I am very much looking forward to that! The reason why Martin is coming here again, is, that we are invited to a wedding on Saturday, the 13th of March, that is, one of my granddaughters is getting married! Peter wanted to go to that wedding too. But alas, he could not stay alive for that long anymore. Rest in peace, dear husband. We’ll be thinking of you!

Reflection

Right now, at 4 am, I feel like I want to do a bit of reflecting. I must say, that yesterday, throughout the day, I became somewhat anxious. Then everything changed just by making time for a game of Scrabble with Martin. This game was something we could both enjoy a lot.

It is great to have my son Martin here for a few days. I better refrain from thinking that I may be running out of time. Why not just enjoy every moment the way it is? And enjoying having Millie, Martin’s cute dog, around!

I feel, waking up early this morning was a blessing. It helped me to reflect on my present situation. Indeed, it seems to help me to get rid of diverse anxieties. I can only say: How good is it to be still alive! So, I am looking forward to today being able to spending again some more precious time with Martin.

Changing Glasses around according to Need!

And how to handle a Mobile:

Not so long ago I was given a second hand mobile phone. Peter and my children wanted me to have this so I could be contacted any time. Password? Can’t remember.
Smartphone? I did not want one. Peter knew how to handle a smartphone. His smartphone lies now unused hidden away somewhere. I would not know how to use it! Even with my simple mobile phone I have sometimes trouble when I accidentally touch a wrong button. How should I know what all these buttons are for! The phone is for me just a commodity to receive important phone calls and maybe use for making an important phone call to a close family member.
I cannot walk around with glasses. They make me feel dizzy!
When I want to read or write something, or look at numbers, I need to wear my very strong glasses. At the computer I have different glasses that are not quite so strong. For watching TV I have even less strong glasses that are also sufficient for doing the dishes. And then for outside I have sunglasses that are made so I can look well into the distance. All four glasses have different coloured frames and cases to keep them in, and this helps me to distinguish them. 🙂

Bythe way since the year 2000 I am totally blind in my left eye because of enlarged macular hole!

I wrote this on the First Wednesday of the Month of June 2018:

https://auntyuta.com/2018/06/06/first-wednesday-of-the-month-of-june-2018/

Hurrah! My new glasses are here!

This is printed on one of the cleaning cloths.

The green rimmed glasses are for using at the computer, the red rimmed ones are for watching TV, and the dark glasses are anti glare sun glasses and good for wearing in the car. I also have some very strong black framed glasses for reading and writing and looking at pricetags in the shops.

Here is what you can find in Google about The Fred Hollows Foundation:

https://www.hollows.org/au/about-the-foundation

Uta’s Diary

https://wordpress.com/post/auntyuta.com/25213

These are the trees I like to visit nearly every day!

Yesterday I looked at a lot of Peter’s books and also at some of my books. I wanted to make a decision, which books I definitly wanted to keep, just to keep, and then which books I also wanted to read. I came up with a plan! So, my plan is to aim at reading two books every week, meaning over the year I should be able to read about 100 books!

Hopefully I’ll be able to read about 100 books every year that I am still alive!

Recently I already read ‘HOLY SMOKE’: https://www.publishersweekly.com/978-0-7868-6349-5

I do like stories where there is a lot of dialogue to read, especially when it comes to a more meaningful dialogue. There is quite a bit of it in ‘HOLY SMOKE’. The book I just started today, seems also to be full of very meaningful dialogue. It is a historical novel. I am very much looking forward to reading it. It is written in German by Renate Feyl and called ‘Aussicht auf bleibende Helle’.

Here in German what it says about this book:

https://www.buecher.de/shop/berlin/aussicht-auf-bleibende-helle/feyl-renate/products_products/detail/prod_id/20857699/

“Königin Sophie Charlotte und Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz – eine Liebe im GeisteDer letzte Universalgelehrte und die schöngeistige Königin: Mit diesem Buch kehrt Renate Feyl auf das Terrain zurück, auf dem sie mit überaus erfolgreichen Büchern geglänzt hat: die historische Romanbiographie. Sie erzählt die Geschichte einer Beziehung, die aus dem lebendigen Austausch der Gedanken Funken der Leidenschaft schlägt – und die Leibniz die fünf glücklichsten Jahre seines Lebens beschert.Sophie Charlotte, geboren 1668 auf Schloss Iburg im Fürstenbistum Osnabrück, begegnet Leibniz am elterlichen Hofe in Hannover, wo er in kurfürstlichen Diensten steht. Mit sechzehn Jahren heiratet sie Friedrich III., den Sohn des Großen Kurfürsten, und geht mit ihm nach Berlin. Hier besucht sie Jahre später der weithin berühmte Mathematiker und Philosoph, um sie für den Plan zu gewinnen, eine Akademie der Wissenschaften zu gründen. Während ihr Gatte mit großem diplomatischem Geschick das Ziel seiner Krönung zum König in Preußen erreicht, fördert sie die schönen Künste und Wissenschaften. Im Laufe der zahlreichen anregenden und geistreichen Gespräche entwickelt sich eine enge Beziehung, und Leibniz wird zum Gefährten ihrer Gedanken. Sophie Charlotte animiert den universellen und genialen Gelehrten zu einer systematischen Ausarbeitung seiner Ideen, die letztendlich in die berühmte Theodizee mündeten.Renate Feyl erzählt mit großem Gespür für die Sprache des Barock und die leisen Zwischentöne vom Zauber einer »mariage mystique« – einer geistigen Liebe voller Esprit und Dezenz. Und es gelingt ihr, die Atmosphäre des Berlin im Aufbruch, die Zwänge des höfischen Protokolls und die Freiheit des intellektuellen Austauschs in eindrucksvollen Bildern einzufangen – und zugleich das Porträt einer faszinierenden jungen Frau zu zeichnen, die eine eigenständige Rolle sucht und das geistige Klima am Hofe prägt.”

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

Renate Feyl (born 30 July 1944) is a Prague-born writer living in Germany.^[1]

Born in Prague (at that time Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia), she grew up in Jena and went on to study philosophy at Humboldt University. Since 1970, Feyl has lived in Berlin working as a freelance writer.

Selected works^[1]^[3][edit]

Bau mir eine Brücke, novel (1972)
Der lautlose Aufbruch, essays (1981)
Idylle mit Professor, novel (1986)
Sein ist das Weib, Denken der Mann, essay (1991)
Ausharren im Paradies, novel (1992)
Die profanen Stunden des Glücks (1996)
Das sanfte Joch der Vortrefflichkeit (1999)
Aussicht auf bleibende Helle (2006)

Writing About Writing

Writers Vs Bloggers: What’s The Difference?

My blogger friend, Catterel, wrote to me the following:

“Writing helps sort out thoughts, ideas, feelings – and helps me stay sane and on top of things. Thank you for rebloggingui this,, dear Uta. I hope you are finding your way in this new year. Blessings.”

This I replied:

I like, what you write, dear Cat. You say, you hope for me to find my way in this New Year.

Yes, a lot of it is new for me in this New Year. Meaning, I have to sort out my feelings about a lot of things. What I wish most for myself is, not to get upset about anything. Make changes where they can be achieved, but to be happy, when the changes take time. Not being upset about it that maybe I do not have much time left, but to be happy about every day that is still given to me. And even if I can achieve only very little each day, to be content with just that little bit that I can still achieve. Even if sometimes I think I waste too much time, I want to try to be gentle with myself by telling myself that I really do each day as much as is possible for me to do.

These days I spend most hours of the day totally on my own, while a lot of the time doing the every day things that need to be done. This includes a bit of walking with my rollator, hopefully catching some sunshine and being able to enjoy beautiful fresh air! Also, while walking, becoming aware of my feelings and maybe of some distant memories. I might be feeling how important it is to be able to talk to people, yes wishing to have a conversation with someone, thinking about what I would like to talk about, or what some other person would like to talk about to me. As far as writing is concerned, this is often to me just like talking. I reckon, when you talk to somebody, you usually get some kind of response. Can I imagine some kind of response, oh yes, I can imagine a response about certain subjects that I would really like to talk about. How good writing is to somehow sort out our feelings and thinking!

Selected works[1][3][edit]

Selected works^[1]^[3][edit]